Monday, 21 February 2011

Today is One of Those Days...AGAIN!

Hi, It's Sarah. Blogger won't let me put up my little picture. Arsehole. I’m running late with this post. Reason:

It’s half term. School’s out, my house isn’t silent, and already today I’ve put up two reviews, been food shopping, done some laundry, dumped the ingredients for a curry in my gorilla-sized slow cooker—which, incidentally, I forgot to switch on; I’m glad I spotted that because if I’d have gone to dish that food up later and it was still RAW I’d have flipped my bloody lid—other household things, put the groceries away and had a moment of wondering if I was finally going to go off my rocker.

Yes, every so often I get that horrible spiralling feeling that I’m out of control and losing my grip. It only lasts a moment or two and is what would be called feeling swamped.

Shopping wasn’t too bad, although I saw my fave washing detergent and fabric softener on sale so doubled up on the largest sizes, forgetting I had to carry this shit back home. My arms felt like they were going to drop off. Thankfully, the main groceries are delivered by the shop, but when the knock came, which I didn’t hear, I was in the kitchen fielding one son into putting the dishes away (he does this to earn cash to go ice skating), a daughter doing paint by numbers at the table, and me trying to get some semblance of order into my kitchen that looked, and still looks, like a bomb site.

Eldest son—dubbed the laziest person in the house because he won’t do anything at all unless asked or if there’s something in it for him (and then it’s like you’ve asked him to eat your freshly squeezed-out shit)—brings in some grocery bags from the delivery guy and tries to get dish-boy, already doing his job, to help him. I sent Eldest off to get the rest of the groceries and you’d think I’d told him to climb Mt. Everest and bring back a gold nugget from wherever the hell you find gold these days on his travels back.

You know what? I thought: God, you’re a selfish bunch of bleeders. Said it before, it’s mainly my fault because I’m soft as shit, but fucking hell. Sometimes the offer of help would be so welcome compared to me asking, which I rarely do.

I just wanted to moan that I appear to be the only person who knows where everything is in this house, the only one who gets things sorted, the only one who does most things, as well as working full time. Yep, I work from home, but I still have a bloody job to do as well as the other crap.

I have some more reviews to put up, and I enjoy reading them when they come in—makes my heart feel good—and also a couple of covers. Also laundry, which, and I’m not joking, currently covers the whole of my staircase where I threw it down from the laundry bin—and that’s just the dark loads. The whites are at the top of the stairs.

So that feeling of being out of my depth came and went, as it always does, and now I’m about to post this, write a to-do list because lately my mind is full of mush, and get things done.

I love being busy, but those manic moments scare the shit out of me these days. Oh, and I have bags under my eyes AGAIN. Arghghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

And just for kicks, fate decided to piss me off further. I went to sign into Blogger to post this, and it says the site is temporarily unavailable. People ask me why I don’t give up smoking. I tell you, for the safety of myself and others, I CAN’T!


anny cook said...

Ahhhh. One of the insanity days. Well, it's nearly over. And so far, you've survived it. That's the thing about these days. We do get past them. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you!

Faith said...

Like Anny said, the day is nearly over for you. {{{whimper}}}Mine's just getting started, LOL!

Jaime Samms said...

I know exactly that feeling of panic and disorientation you're talking about, Sarah. I get it, too. It comes, it passes. But it's scary as shit. *nods* This would be the part where I offer some sage advice. If I had it.

Last time it hit, two nights ago, around one am, I got up and did three hours of housecleaning. O.o Who cleans house in the middle of the night? Just had to keep doing stuff till I was tired enough to fall asleep. I did wake up feeling better, and to a clean house...then the kids came home.

Sarah Masters said...

Nearly over, Anny, but with much still to do. I told myself earlier it doesn't all need to be done today, I don't have to be superwoman, yet I'm still here plodding along. LOL


Sarah Masters said...

Poor you, Faith.

Also, I think I've fucked up on the week order. I don't even think I'm meant to have posted today. ARGH! See? My mind is MUSH.


Sarah Masters said...

Bless you, Jaime. Cleaning works for me too, but today I have other stuff to get done so cleaning will have to wait.



Anthology Authors said...

Oh, yeah, Emmy, I get like this. That happened the other day, but I try to focus on one thing at a time. It helps. If I thought about everything that needs to be done, I'd need a straight jacket.

Sarah Masters said...

That's what I did, Marci. Thought of everything at once, and it freaked me bloody stupid.