Thursday, 3 February 2011

Do You Dare Say What You Really Think?

To steal a quote from Family Guy: How about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up?

Don’t you just wish you could say that to someone when they’re nosing into your damn business as though they have the right to know the answers to their questions? I can’t ever remember signing a contract where, when someone like this enters my life, I have to answer them, giving details about things that really are none of their business. I mean, if I wanted to tell people things, I would. That I don’t or haven’t means I don’t want to, and it also means that if I haven’t offered any information, I’d rather those people didn’t know for various reasons.

Another quote I like is from the film Hangover, where a doctor is being questioned and harassed when he really does have work to do. Someone asks him if he knows where somewhere is, and he says: I do, it's at the corner of get a map and fuck off.

I want to say these words at times, I really do, but being polite takes over and I just smile, answer the questions vaguely and get away from them as quickly as possible. I’m in awe of those who do say exactly what’s on their mind. My youngest daughter is like that. She’s eight, and if you ask her if you look okay and she thinks you don’t, she’ll say so. She’s my kind of best buddy, because if I ask: Does my bum look big in this? She’ll say: Hmm, a little bit… or, Yes! No bullshitting from her.

I have explained to her, though, that at times she needs to use a little tact. Then she asked what tact was, so I had to explain that in a way she could understand. However, she’s just one of those individuals who will be telling people to get a map and fuck off. To her it’s natural, part of who she is. I’ll just sit back and cringe on the sidelines, apologise for her outbursts while she’s still young enough for me to do so, but once she hits 18, her mouth and what comes out of it is her own, as are the consequences for what she’s said.

What have you longed to say to someone? Gimme some quotes to brighten my day, because I’ve still got that dodgy tummy, the headache, and now a sore throat. My youngest has it too, so we’re here in our pyjamas, feeling horrible and wishing bedtime would hurry up again!


Cassie Exline said...

There's a song that reflects how much I wish I could say what I think to certain people.

I don't need you to worry for me cause I'm alright;
I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home;
I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life;
Go ahead with your own life, and leave me alone.


There's another song that uses much stronger wording for the same sentiment but for the life of me, can't remember the lyrics.

But yes, yes, yes, there are times I wish I could just say, "You're an idiot. Go away."

Too bad there are not "silent" buttons in real life.

Tess MacKall said...

Okay, gonna be straight with you here, Sarah. Why the eff did you post a pic of this critter from Family Guy or quote that show at all? lol I hate, hate, hate that show. It's rude, those people are idiots, they insult everything and everyone that comes along. Okay, I'm stopping now. lol

Seriously, I ranted about this show to my family last night and it's one of my blog posts next week.

So when I got online and saw that pic? OMG...I thought...Sarah has lost her freaking mind. lol

Well, you wanted me to speak my mind didn't ya? lol

I think most kids start off being very honest. And then along the way someone hurts their feelings with honesty and that's how they gradually start pulling back with their own for fear of having it done to them. Not a good way to learn tact is it?

But a lot of times I want to be really honest with people and force myself not to be. But I'll tell ya this...

I'm not using the critters in Family Guy as a role model for this behavior at all. Yep, can't stand them.

C. Zampa said...

And then there's Hank Williams Jr'.s song...."If you mind your own business, then you won't be mindin' mine..." LOL.

I'm one of those whose life is so boring nobody ever asks me anything. Sigh. For real.

I suppose even that level of a boring life has its perks, since people can be so nosy. LOL.

Hart Johnson said...

Yeah... that politeness thing, combined with a non-confrontational thing... hard to work with. i don't really like the 'honest no matter what' approach because I think people sometimes use that as an excuse to be hurtful (I'd recommend pointing out what you DO like or suggesting an easy fix), but the art of silence is one I wish I could hammer into some people.

Being ME, sometimes I handle it by telling them MORE than they wanted to know so they end up the embarrassed one, but I've generally adopted TMI as a lifestyle. Doesn't work for everyong.

Anny Cook said...

Generally, I look the individual in the eye and calmly ask, "Why on earth do you think that's your business?"

And usually, they walk away.

If they persist--and that's rare--I'm more blunt, but still calm. "Mind your own business." And then I walk away.

Elizabeth Black said...

I love to run my mouth off, often using quotes from movies. Here are a few that got me in trouble:

1. (When my mom asked me AGAIN if she parked to far from the curb.) "No, we can walk to it from here."

2. "And the merry-go-round of wrong continues..."

3. "It's as if a time capsule from the 1950s suddenly opened up, and angry and bitter men poured out, blinking at the sun."

4. [When a woman I hated who constantly judged me said she was a 'young 50'.) "In dog years."

5. And finally, one of my faves: "Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."

Believe me, I have many more. :)

Elizabeth Black said...

Tess, I don't get why "Family Guy" is such a hit, either. I only saw the "Star Wars" spoofs and they were supposed to be two of the funniest episodes ever. I just don't get it. Neither was all that funny to me. So why's it so popular?

I also agree with you that all kids start out honest and pure until they're socialized. Then they learn how to please other people and they put their own needs and personalities on the back burner. Their dreams go there, too. Ever notice how kids have the most outlandish dreams? They want to be explorers, archeologists, famous actors, high class chefs, astronomers, astronauts, etc? Then within a few years they dumb down on everything. It's really sad to see.

Miss Havana said...

Ah...according to Shirley Maclaine, I was Stewie in a former life.

Sarah Masters said...

Cassie. LOL @ silent buttons.


Sarah Masters said...

HAHAHAHAHAH Tess. That show is awful, but I can't help watching it from time to time. I like hating the father.


Sarah Masters said...

I want your life, CZ!


Sarah Masters said...

Yes, Hart. I think these things but don't say them. I'd hate myself for hurting their feelings. Even the same with people who don't care about hurting mine. I can't bring myself down to their level.


Sarah Masters said...

Anny, you are my HEROINE! I want to be able to say that!


Sarah Masters said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAH Elizabeth. Thank you for the laugh. I'm going to mutter that dog years one under my breath at someone sometime.


Sarah Masters said...

LMAO @ Miss Havana.


Elizabeth Black said...

Sarah, that dog years comment got me slapped by the AOL TOS gestapo when I used to post in communities folders over a decade ago. I got a nastygram in e-mail telling me to behave myself but she laughed her ass off too. :)

She said...

Sorry your youngest is also sick. I have learned that sometimes it's better to keep the truth to yourself. People only get defensive if you give too much truth to them and in the interest of cordial relationships (like in the family) it's better to shut up than to express an opinion (I feel like Doc in West Side Story--I have no opinion.)

Faith said...

Your youngest sounds like my oldest dau. She's heading toward nineteen and still is as frank as the day she was born.

One of her favorite phrases for someone who bitches or whines on and on is, "Do you want a cookie?" It's said with fake concern and it's a reward for the person's childish or behavior or overreaction.

One of mine I say a lot when someone tells me something that's obvious to the world is, "Well, that took a rocket scientist to figure that out."

However, I have one that I say that horrifies my middle girl.

The youngest boy is terrible about farting wherever he is and announcing it to whoever is nearby.

"Hey, I just farted!" he'll say with a big grin on his face.

Me: "We do not need a public announcement every time you blow air out of your ass."

I'm being serious and very blunt, but he thinks the reply is hilarious and so does the oldest. The middle child always wants to peel up carpet, sod, or tile and crawl under it.

Hmmm...maybe me and the entire family needs to learn tact, lmao.

Jaime Samms said...

I have one person who asks prying questions about my life, my weight, my financial situation, my kids, my relationship with my husband, my writing, my job prospects, the amount of dirty laundry sitting in front of my washer...

You guessed it. My mother. Cassie, I need that Billy Joel song on a continuous loop, darlin' Just press play whenever she opens her mouth...

Adelle Laudan said...

Family Guy is not allowed on my tv, seriously, I won't have it in my house.
That being said, have you ever wanted to tell off that certain male who oozes arrogance?

"A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth."

Faith said...

LMAO @ Adelle's comment!

Maeve said...

I loved this post! I can't tell you the times I've SOOOO LONGED to look up from my desk, point at my face and ask the person who's standing there whining about something stupid: "Does this look like the face of a person who cares?"

Anthology Authors said...

Tact is not always my strong suit, but I have learned to curb my tongue when needed. Take today, for example, my mom was complaining about something someone is doing, or not doing. I finally told her, "You know, Mom, no one can do this to you without you allowing it. If you don't like it, stop letting them do it."

"What am I supposed to do, then, Marci?"

"Mom, just say, 'no.'"

She won't. She won't stick up for herself, so this happens. And I keep telling her that the only way it will stop is if she stops allowing it to happen.

It used to upset me, but, you know, I can't control what she will or won't do. Getting upset only hurts me, too.


What I'd really like to do is go to the people doing this and tell them what assholes they are and to just stop and grow up. Will it happen? No. That'd just upset Mom more. (sigh)

Rhiannon Mills said...

I pretty much always say what I think, for the most part. I sugarcoat NOTHING lol. I was once the exact opposite and kept my thoughts to myself and it got me NOWHERE. I live in the smallest of small towns in nowheresville, WV...full of mindless drones that are all the same. All of them think alike, and I've always stuck out like a sore thumb because I was raised WAY differently than everyone else around here. My parents are smart people!!! After a certain age, I decided that I really didn't care what people around this place think. No one PAYS them to think. Good thing, too...they'd all be broke. So, needless to say, if you feel like saying something, JUST SAY IT!!! :)You'll feel a lot better...

Nicki said...

I feel odd now, Emmy.

I say all those cool things in front of the mirror, at home, before I go out.

Then when people bug me in real life, I just act cutesy and annoying and "1 stone of sugar per square inch" sweet until they walk away, muttering under their breath.

I guess I'm weird. :o)

ev said...

@Faith- has your daughter been hanging with mine? At 26 she never holds back (and really sometimes she should) and the cookie comment is her favorite. Even on FB.

@Maeve- I do use that comment. Many times.

My fave comment- "Why do you want to know?" usually shuts them up. That and either starring at them til they walk away, or walking away myself. I can also pretend to be deaf when need be.

I don't watch Family Guy, but The Spawn did put his "Mom, mom, mommy...." on my cell phone for her ringtone. I love it!

Faith said...

LOL @ spawn, Eve. Too cute!

Melissa Bradley said...

Oh how I long to be able to say what I want when I want. Most of the time politeness takes over and I am nice. But there are those moments where my inner bitch has taken over like the Incredible Hulk and I've let loose with such gems as

"Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up."

"No, I don't know where your keys are, I have boobs not GPS."

Janice said...

The nice thing about being in your late *cough-cough* forties is I can be outspoken. I always have been but now its like I got the chops to be, lol.

My daughter has a great saying for being getting in her business, "back your sh*t up."

I like that.