You’re Going To Stick That Where?

Mammogram – Sounds painful

Pap Smear – Shivers at the thought of cold steel

Colonoscopy – Spending hours on the toilet before having a camera shoved up my a**. Sounds fun.

All of these tests require taking time out of my already busy day, are invasive, and absolutely embarrassing. I can’t help but turn red when I see “that” doctor at the grocery store.

BUT, I also know how these tests can save lives by finding cancerous cells early. After several abnormal paps—which means every six months instead of every year (Oh joy!)—I had to have pre-cancerous cells removed from my cervix.
While counting down the minutes until I could leave after my day-surgery, I heard another doctor tell a colonoscopy patient they found cancer. They found my mom’s colon cancer the same way, but she’s been cancer-free for over ten years now. Proof these tests and cancer research works.

And I’m excited to be part of Decadent Publishing’s Read-For-A-Cure program where all publisher proceeds from the sale of Celestial Seduction during the month of March will be donated to the American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life program.

Here’s the blurb:d to be part of Decadent Publishing’s Read-For-A-Cure program where all publisher proceeds from the sale of Celestial Seduction during the month of March will be donated to the American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life program.
At the end of his obligated commitment to the Space Service, Frey Berger decides to stay on Earth to further experience human emotions rather than return to Ginnun where his intended has already mated with another. Looking for real love and someone to accept him for what he is, Frey enlists in Madame Evangeline’s popular dating service. Although he does not understand the concept of a one-night stand, he hopes to find his perfect mate. If he fails, he risks being alone on Earth for the rest of his life.

Carrie Cooper’s husband divorced her for another woman who could provide him with children, leaving her with little self-confidence and no desire to let a man hurt her again. When her best friend convinces her to join a dating service, Carrie decides one night of passion is harmless since there’s no commitment after the night is over.

Although several misunderstandings nearly derail them before the date even begins, Frey and Carrie end up closer than they ever believed possible. Still, Frey needs to convince Carrie her perfect mate isn’t human at all, and that one night can lead to a forever love.

Buy Link

Book Trailer

Bio:

Jessica Subject started writing to encourage her daughter to read. Now she writes to keep herself grounded. Although she reads many genres, she enjoys writing Science Fiction Romance the most and believes everyone in the universe deserves a happily ever after. She lives Southwestern Ontario, Canada with her husband and two kids and loves to hear from anyone who has enjoyed her stories. Her debut novella, Celestial Seduction is available from Decadent Publishing.

Website/Blog: http://www.markofthestars.com

Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/jsubject

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Jessica-E-Subject-author/20575979612637
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Why Rewards Don't Work

At least, not for me. Not self-imposed rewards, anyway.

It all started with this picture....mmmm. Yep. Still yummy. The dynamic, the power exchange, the...mmm...surrender...*ahem* what was I on about?

My friend who brought this dish of yummines to my attention, she pointed me to the website where she found it, and said "yay! You can go visit the website after you write your allotted words for the day!"

Yeah, right. Like setting a bowl of candy and a bowl of apple sauce in front of a kid and saying "You can have the candy as soon as the apple sauce is all gone. Now I'm going out to the garden to rest, so you won't be supervised."

No matter how much that kid loves the tangy sweetness of apple sauce and the slurpy fun of eating it, dollars to doughnuts you know what happens next!

No one's watching. Who's to say in what order thing were consumed? Unless, of course, kid eats all the candy and has no room for the apple sauce.

Well, it's like that with me. I end up sated on pictures of men doing sweet, naughty things to each other and have no time or energy left to write about it.

Then there's FaceBook games. They work the same way. Like Lays. You can never stop at just one...

Or movies...
or reading...
or drawing...

It's hopeless. I think somewhere in here, there is a lesson about time management. Or, a cautionary tale about time management fail or something....I don't know. I was too busy being distract--SQUIRREL!!!!

Hand Me Downs Hand Me Downs Hand Me Downs

Earlier this evening, when I picked up Lily over at the neighbor’s house, the subject of hand me downs came up. You see, this family has two girls younger than Lily, and, as they are younger, I pass down Lily’s clothes to them. Because Lily is the neighbor, they love her clothes, just as Lily loves the older girl’s (Jenny) clothes who lives across the street. Some of Lily’s favorite clothes come from Jenny.

Me, on the other hand, I didn’t like hand me downs. Perhaps it was because I was the youngest of four, and it seemed to me that all I ever got until I outgrew everyone else was hand me downs. This was not true, but there are pictures of my oldest sister wearing a pair of jeans, my brother in those jeans, my other sister in those jeans, and, finally, me in those jeans. (g) Honestly, I am surprised those jeans survived the four of us. We played hard. (Creek, mud, trees, etc.) Maybe they were magic jeans, or maybe we grew out of them quicker than we could destroy them. (g) (Things seemed to last longer back them, or maybe that’s just my imagination. Grin)

Anyway, that was not the case for other things, though. One of the many things passed down to me was ski gear. It wasn’t until I was twelve or so that I got my first ski outfit that was just for me. By that time, I was taller than both of my sisters and my brother’s gear wouldn’t fit me. I can’t tell you how excited I was. I still have that outfit and would wear it, and did wear it for a good twenty years until I had Lily. The pants no longer fit me. (sigh) The jacket does, though. However, I still have the same poles that went through my siblings. LOL The poles didn’t really matter, but the skis did.

Twelve was the same year we went skiing up in Sun Valley, Idaho. I was taking a ski class and my skis had again gone through first my oldest sister, then my brother, and finally Janna. As Janna got new skis the year before for Christmas, I got Schell’s old K2’s. I didn’t really mind, but since Janna had new skis, I really wanted some new ones too. (You know how kids are. I was like any other kid. It’s not that I didn’t appreciate what I had. I did. I just thought it was unfair that Janna had new skis, and I didn’t. I was young and preteen. What can I say? Now as an adult, I realize how shallow it was, but then… well, as I said, I was preteen. The world revolved around me, right? LOL)

Anyway, I digress. So, here I am in this ski class. I am a twelve-year-old who looks like eighteen, but is as stupid as a, well, twelve-year-old. And I had a crush on our ski instructor. I don’t remember what he looked like, just that he was hot. All of the girls in the class thought he was. We were skiing down a black diamond mogul run. Everything was going great, and suddenly, my skis delaminated. What does this means? Well, it means the skis were so old that the top layer of the ski detaches from the bottom later of the ski. In short, my bindings that attached my boots to the skis were no longer attached to the skis. The skis continued down the hill without me while I went head first on my back down the hill… or so the instructor said. I don’t remember a thing. Apparently, I blacked out. I also managed to emerge unscathed. Not even a bruise or an ache. (Oh, to have that twelve-year-old body again! Or at least to have the resiliency of the twelve-year-old body.)

As we were quite a ways from the lift, I wasn’t injured, and sliding down the hill on my butt was out of the question (I was a little freaked about the idea after what had just happened) the ski instructor had to carry me down the hill in his arms. (sigh) It was heavenly! I have to say, while upset about my skis, just that alone made it all worth it. That, and all the other girls were green with envy. (g)

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh, and the best part all of this: I was going to get a brand new pair of skis just for me. You know, because Janna just a got a new pair.

Um, no. No, I wasn’t. Janna was a much better skier than me, so my dad felt that she deserved the new skis, and I could have… wait for it… her hand me downs.

ARGH! I cannot tell you how put upon I felt. My world was going to end. It was so unfair! I don’t think I said much, though, because, you know, one didn’t say much when it came to stuff like that to Dad. Dad didn’t put up with any shit. It was another six years or more before I had my first pair of skis that were specifically for me. I was so excited. LOL

I have to say that, now, I’d gladly take hand me down skis as my skis are, um, older than the ones that delaminated on me and probably aren’t safe to ski on anymore. I am sure if what happened in Sun Valley happened now, I would surely end up with something broken, and I’d be carried down in a stretcher instead of a hunky guy’s arms. (g)

Now, I am grateful for hand me downs. My “newest” pairs of jeans were my moms from 20 years ago. They fit great. Matter of fact, they fit better than the $100 jeans my MIL gave me a few years ago for Christmas in an attempt to find a pair that actually fit me. I hardly wear them now since Charlie threw them in the dryer. They weren’t supposed to be thrown in the dryer and shrunk. O.o I can still wear them, but they slid down to below my waist, give me muffin top, and annoy me.

You know, I think I might have appreciated hand me downs more if they were from say a cool neighbor like what Lily gets instead of my older sister who used to beat the tar out of me. She’d tell me what to do; I’d say, “Make me.” She’d beat me up, but I still wouldn’t do what she wanted. grin Yup, I was stubborn. This went on until I was twelve (Apparently, twelve was significant year in my life. LOL) when I grew taller than her. At which point, we stopped fighting daily and got along… most of the time… and I didn’t get her hand me downs anymore, except for skis, that is. (g)

Kids Do, and Say, the Darnedest Things

I am taking a break from ranting today. I’ve been running at rant for a while now and am exhausted from the wound up frustration, so I felt I needed a break. Instead, I have decided to share a few things Lily, and her friends, have said, and done, that crack me up. I am sure that all of you have been there. And, please, share yours, too.

So, here are a few of my favorite sayings/questions:

Lily: Only humans can marry each other because if a human married a horse, you’d get a centaur.

Friend 1: I don’t like pretending to be someone else. I only like to pretend to be animals.

Lily: I need water, and if I don’t get it now, I will die. (This is a frequent complaint if for some reason she forgets to bring water with her. She says the same thing about being hungry.)

Friend 2: Well, I’m a Girl Scout and have been for years in Israel. (She’s 7 and has lived in the US for, um, 6 years or so. She may have even been born here. grin)

Lily: How do men pee? (O.o Note to self: get facts of life book from library to help explain.)

Lily: I didn’t say I don’t like him. I just don’t want to play with him anymore. (g)

And some of my favorite things they play/do:

One day, we had five girls over here. Whoever said girls are quieter than boys doesn’t have girls. The girls were playing family. This sounds quiet and could potentially be quiet, but their family consisted of the mom and dad (one of the girls pretended to be the dad), a horse, a cat, and a dog. So, three of the girls were the animals. Lily was a cat. They paraded through the house (the girls who were animals crawled—thump, thump, thump) and either meowed, barked, or neighed as they went. Quiet? Um, not remotely. (g)

Band. Their idea of band does not resemble the definition of band. Often, they fight over who is going to be the leader. Once that is settled, they create their own songs and play them simultaneously. (AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

We were out shopping one day when Lily ripped one in public. People turned to look and chuckled when she nonchalantly said, “Pardon me.” She even says, “Pardon me” for the silent ones. She hasn’t yet learned that it’s best to just let those slide. (g)

Lily draws mermaids with seashell bikini tops covering their bosoms. Why do I find this funny? I don’t know. I just do. To me, it’s hilarious.

When we go to visit my mother, inevitably, she falls asleep in the car. She is so out of it that she tips over and the only thing holding her up is the seatbelt. We wake her once we are there. She will swear up and down that she was not asleep. (g)

There are many more, but, alas, I cannot think of any. Hopefully, you do.

Crossing the Line

Today, it's a rant, so be prepared. (grin)

The other day, I received an email from the PTA of Lily's old school. Although Lily no longer goes there, I am still on their list. I don't mind. It's interesting to see what's going on. And this particular one got me going. You see, every year, the parents of our local schools raise money to pay for programs that the budgets have cut--subjects like music, art, and theater. The art and music teachers are independent contractors. The money pays for companies such as LA Opera and The Music Center come in to teach classes.

So, this email comes through. The president of the district employee union is threatening to file a lawsuit because the programs the parents have raised money for is taking jobs away from its members. (The implication with this was also that parent volunteers were also taking away their jobs. O.o)

What? There wouldn't be any art and music in our local school if the parents didn't raise funds for them. If parents didn't volunteer, there are things that would be much harder to accomplish. (As a past parent volunteer, I speak from experience.) In other words, most parents (not all) make the teachers' jobs easier and improve their kids' educations.

But the union is saying that they want to be able to tell us how to spend the money we raised? Who we should hire? Really? You want to go there?

As parents, they are doing what they think is best for their kids. And, really, this is about kids, right? Right? Hm... Why doesn't it seem that way? And why am I not surprised?

Very little seems about kids in the schools any more. Matter of fact, most of it seems to be about the money. If your kid misses school, they don't care so much about why your kid misses, but more about the fact that they won't get the money for that kid. So, this whole thing about them making the grab for money raised by parents? It really sticks in my craw. (Not hard, considering there are a lot of things about the schools nowadays that does that.)

Not surprisingly, this has riled the parents, and the parents are organizing. These parents who have been organizing to raise money for the past several years know how to organize. Stay across that line, and the union might find themselves in a very untenable situation. If they are smart, they will drop this, back away, and shut up. I'm not betting on intelligence, though. Greed? Yes. Intelligence? No.

We'll see what happens.

Be Wise & Bring a Cheese & Meat Platter

First, if you find typos in my post, I apologize but my day of quiet to work has been interrupted by two kids who, despite my lousy mood, seem to think ticking me off is great fun today.

So, this brings me to my rant. Translation: bitching session.

Why can't people leave me alone?

My phone rings like it should be in a doctor's office. Our driveway is often transformed into Ohio's pull-in OR turn-around zone. Between my one son who thinks I live only to serve him and landlords and hired hands who come and go as they please, not to mention all the traffic due to the new addition to the coalmine, I'm to the point of lying down in the lane to protest the interruptions like a treehugger straps himself to a tree destined for the ax.

Back to the phone. It rings at midnight. It rings at 1 AM. It rings at 7:30 in the morning--and whether it's a weekday or weekend matters naught.

The power company uses our driveway to access coal mine property, which sets the dog to barking her head off. And now there's a water-testing guy who bangs on our door when I least expect it to ask for water samples.

For. God's. Sake!!! Leave. Me. Alone!

I understand why people lose their tempers and do stupid things.

And if you add the latest stupid stunts--note, that it's plural!--my oldest son has done of late...allow me a moment of snarling. I'm so furious and upset I could go ten rounds or more with Godzilla and not knock him out just so I could beat on him a li'l longer. I swear, in the mood I'm in of late, Bigfoot would take one look at me and scream "Yipe! Yipe! Yipe!" as it ran back into the woods.

However, the traffic through our drive aside, why is it family cannot leave a mom alone? My hubby calls me "The Matriarch" and says I can "fix" anything.

I don't care! Leave me alone! I need a life--a life that's mine and not one caters to what everyone else wants. Don't call me and ask me to Google something for you when you have Internet access on your high-tech cell phone! Don't call me and ask if you should give the baby a dose of medicine when it has directions on the bottle! Don't wait until four hours before your friends are going to the movies to ask if you can go when you've known about it for two freaking weeks!

And never ever tell me I've overused a word in a manuscript when I can do a search and highlight and see the word was used only three times in an entire full-length book!

Oh yeah. PMS? Pa-shaw! That's nothing. Get on a mountain woman's last nerve and face the wrath of Hades and Mount Vesuvius combined!

By tonight I'll need a date with Jack. If any harried moms out there plan to join me, bring limes or get tossed into the volcano.

Oh, and a cheese and meat platter would be nice. I'm sick of cooking.

Book Review: The Days When You Were Anything Else

Author: Marcus Sakey www.marcussakey.com

Publisher: Smashwords

Format: e-Book, short story

It’s not often I come across a story or book that immediately pulls me in, but The Days When You Were Anything Else certainly did. I’ve always been a fan of fiction written in first person, too, so that was an added bonus.

Many of you are probably fans of the Travel Channel show Hidden City where Mr. Sakey researches crimes from a novelist’s point of view. It’s one of my favorite shows and even my youngest son will sometimes sit and watch it with me (he especially liked the episode involving Bum Farto, but it sort of catered to a seven-year-old boy’s sense of humor, lol). Anyway, the show is entertaining, creative and full of interesting history, which is right up my alley. It turns out Mr. Sakey’s fiction is just as entertaining.

I friend-ed Mr. Sakey on Facebook, and a few days later he posted a link to a temporarily free download of his short story. Curious, I downloaded it and read it last week. I must say I was quite impressed and will definitely find more of this author’s work to devour.

So what’s the story about?

It’s pretty simple, really. What will a parent do for his child—or should I say what will he not do?

In a nutshell, Frank is an ex-con. While he was incarcerated, his wife died and his daughter, Jessica, became a teenage runaway. Now on the outside, he ekes out a living as he waits for phone calls from his daughter. Even though she blames him for everything bad in her life, he at least gets to hear her voice.

I won’t give the entire story away, but when Jessica is kidnapped, Frank realizes what lengths he’ll go to for his li’l girl. This story really makes the reader stop and think about what’s important in life, what we will and won’t do for our children, and what we deem as right and wrong. I just hope Jessica learned a valuable lesson about her father—one I like to believe brought them back together and set them both on the right path.

This is a poignant story woven with a bold, easy style full of rich details that bring the characters to life. If you’d like to buy a copy of The Days When You Were Anything Else, you can find it here: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/19303

And here's the Kindle link too: http://www.amazon.com/Days-When-Were-Anything-ebook/dp/B003WEA1H8/ref=sr_1_11?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1329153799&sr=1-11

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Disclaimer: all books reviewed by 4SW have been purchased or are free offers downloaded by the individual reviewer; some may even be borrowed from our local libraries.