Friday, 11 February 2011

Something to laugh about

After my downer rant on Wednesday (Was it Wednesday? I've lost track of time as my daughter has had the flu for the past couple of days. It seems to have cleared.), when Faith suggested I post this after I forwarded it to her via email, I agreed. This came from my aunt Ar. It gave me a much needed laugh. I hope it does the same for you. :)

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!) Marci comment: And I'm sure that some people's farts (not mine, of course--grin) could create enough gas for this sooner. (g)

The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30 feet when it pumps out to the body. (O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Don't try this at home; maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the...?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity.)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm.......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing.)

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that, too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)


Faith said...

The one about the cat's urine had me wheezing for breath I was laughing so hard, then the dolphin one set me off again!

trinity said...

Yep I like the pig one! Thirty minutes I want that!!! Oh and believe me I could be the female praying matis sometimes with my husband!


Sarah Masters said...

LOL! I love the continual references to pig orgasms.


Cassie Exline said...

Oh yes, put me down for pig, but that praying mantis has a plus or two going for it.

Anthology Authors said...

And that was the point, Faith. We all need to laugh. I know I did. :)

Anthology Authors said...

Yeah, Trinity, a 30-minute orgasm would be nice, but there are times when I just want it over. (g)

If we mated like praying mantises, I don't think the men who will practically stick it in anything that walks would be quite so eager. (g)

Anthology Authors said...

It would mean that we'd never have the same sexual partner, Cassie. (g)

JM said...

Oh my gosh! Hilarious. May have to copy this.
Yep, my vote is for the pig as well. *g*

Toni V.S. said...

Let's not forget a wild boar's penis is corkscrew-shaped and it takes 8 hours for one to complete the sex act. (or so the Nature Channel says)!

Lisa Alexander Griffin said...

Oh my! lol. I've read this before and it's still funny. Seems I get suck on the pig each time. haha! If he doesn't enjoy sex, why does it take him so long?!

Anthology Authors said...

Just thinking about that boar penis makes me cross my lengths. And 8 hours? That just sounds painful. There is such a thing as too long. (g)

Anthology Authors said...

Cross my legs, that is. (g)

Betty Ann Harris said...

OMG! I did laugh, and I really needed to laugh. I especially enjoyed finding out about the praying mantis. Can you imagine being the female praying mantis ripping your lover's head off and then having your way with your headless mate? Loved it! Thanks for posting. Smiles, BA

Janice said...

Your wanting to be a pig and I'm not over the praying mantis. Ew.


mssellsworth said...

I dunno, maybe it's just me, but I sense a swine theme in this post. I knew that about praying mantises (I guess the male is praying NOT to meet the love of his life)--I just didn't know they could talk!

Anthology Authors said...

HAHAHAHA, Janice. This was sent via email. There's only one comment (where it says "Marci comment") that's mine. While a half hour orgasm would be nice, if perhaps exhausting, I have no desire to be someone's meal. (g)

Anthology Authors said...

Glad I could give you that laugh, Betty. :) I know I needed it, too, when it arrived. :)

Anthology Authors said...

I don't know about talking, mssellsworth, but that would be pretty gruesome.

Anonymous said...

OMG, Im still laughing so hard I need to find my asthma inhaler!!

hugs, Kari Thomas

Anthology Authors said...

I'm sorry about the asthma inhaler, but I'm glad you are laughing, Kari. It's good for the soul. :)