Thursday, 14 July 2011

Missing a gene and lack of gentility

Do you ever wonder if you have a missing gene? At least one of the genes that makes you your gender? Sometimes, I do. According to society, in order for me to be a true woman, I must shave my legs, obsess over my hair, wear make up, and love high heels. If all do all of those things, I’m a true woman. Except I rarely wear make up, I rarely shave my legs, I don’t obsess over my hair, and high heels are about as exciting as cat throw up to me. So, it should come as no surprise to you that when I saw some galoshes with 3” wedges advertised in a Nordstrom’s catalog, I found this to be a bit blasphemous. (grin) On top of that, the price for a pair of impractical rain boots (you can’t puddle jump without taking a dump in heels), even on sale, is astronomical. ($98.90 instead of $175 -- Oooo… what a bargain! snort)

All of you women who claim that heels are comfortable I have one question for you: what drug are you on? For me, that’s the only explanation. Do they make my calves look nice? I guess, but the pain overrides any satisfaction.

My wandering mind wondered where high heels originated. A quick Google search brought up this link. And it made complete sense. Despite popular belief, high heels aren’t sexy. That’s not how they originated. It’s about how much money you have. You really had to be one of the gentility to wear them. Yes, gentility.

Think about it. How can heels be comfortable? I don’t care if they are Manolo Blahnik’s, you will not sell me on the so-called “comfort” of heels. I will gladly wear my flip flops, tennis shoes, Ugg slippers, or go barefoot first. But maybe they aren’t meant to be comfortable. Maybe it’s that very discomfort that’s supposed to denote gentility. I mean, who could be on their feet all day working in the fields in a pair of high heels without suffering horrible discomfort, disfigurement, and varicose veins?

High heels are not much different than the ancient Chinese practice of foot binding, in my mind.

Perhaps I’m not missing a gene. Perhaps it’s that my genes are really of peasant stock. My father’s family (at least part of them) comes from good pig farmer stock. I am sure a pig farmer is more practical than someone of gentility. You aren’t going to wear your Christian Louboutin’s slogging through a sty now, are you? I wouldn’t, but you probably wouldn’t find me wearing them anyway. At $695 for the cheapest pair, I just can’t imagine paying that much for something that will sit in the closet. Heck! I can’t see paying that much for a pair of shoes I’d wear every day period! (These aren't the cheapest pair. I’m not sure how much they cost, but it's more than I’ll ever be willing to pay. g)

Now, I could say that my genes from my mother’s side are noble…several generations back, but the marriages to a variety of peasants has sufficiently watered down that blue blood to a drop or two because Mom isn’t into heels either. (g) Of course, my sister Janna was, but she was only 5’3”. She was also a fashion plate. As you may have guessed, I am not. LOL

So, maybe I’m not missing a gene. Maybe my genes are exactly what they are supposed to be: peasant. And, you know, I’m okay with that because I’ll only wear heels if I have to. Otherwise, you’ll find me barefoot, in flip flops, or tennis shoes and my Ugg boots in the winter. (g) Besides, Charlie is distantly related to the British royals. So, perhaps the stench of the trough is enticing after all. ;)

26 comments:

Faith said...

I read somewhere that heels were also worn by those in cities where the refuse and chamber pots were tossed into the streets. By raising the heels of various shoes, women could keep their dress hems out of the muck.

I used to have to wear heels for one of my jobs. I worked in a department store and heels were a requirement, and yes, my feet and legs killed me by the time my shift was over. I wear heels to church sometimes, or if I go out, which is never nowadays.

Molly Daniels said...

I've always gone for comfort, even in my own wedding:) Tried on a pair of 3" stilettos once and while I liked the way my legs looked, I told the clerk I'd probably only wear them into the bar, then they would rest under the table the rest of the night. And why pay all that money for something you're only going to wear for maybe 15 minutes?

Anthology Authors said...

And there you go, Faith, my ancestors are from the country, I grew up in the country, so I'm just not destined for heels. (g)

Cassie Exline said...

I used to wear heels, not stilettos, but they were off more than on my feet and I couldn't stand the clack clack following in my wake. Now comfort is first.

Anthology Authors said...

I'm with you there, Molly. That might be why I don't have more than a few pair (a pair of black ones, a pair of gold ones, and some brown too high heel boots.) I have a pair of Ugg boots that are great. In that Nordstrom catalog were some beautiful black, knee high boots (aka riding). They were flats, and the most expensive pair in the catalog, of course. (I'm from good pig farmer stock, but I apparently have castle taste.)

Anthology Authors said...

Did you see the sky high stilettos they made those poor girl contestants on American Idol wear? They must have been six inches easy. I don't think any of the girls had ever worn such ridiculously high heels ever, and then the judges would comment about how the girls had problems in the beginning of the song as they tried to navigate the stairs and even walking. Well, duh! You try to sing as you fear for you life!

Fabian Black said...

I love shoes, in fact I have a shoe fetish. The higher and more sparkly the better. I have loads of pairs of them with thin straps and diamante trimmings in lots of different colours. I bought a pair last week that had the most fabulous sparkling pink and blue dragonfly adornments. I saw them, salivated and had to have them...only it will be a miracle if I actually ever wear them. I suffer from terrible vertigo and I can barely walk a straight line in my bare feet let alone balanced on a pair of high heels. It's tragic really!

Libby

Anthology Authors said...

Oh, Libby, that would be terrible! Do you ever feel like the shoes taunt you?

Fabian Black said...

Lol, I don't feel taunted as such. I feel a bit sorry for the shoes actually. Beautiful shoes should be worn and admired not stuck away in some dark closet only to be brought out into the light and tried on once in a while. I always tell myself - no more shoes! But then I see a pair I love and all resolve leaves me. ;) Is there such a thing as SA (Shoebuyers Anonymous)

Libby

Sharon Sullivan-Craver said...

I cannot wear heels and never could. I sprain,twist my ankle every darn time. They are not comfortable and i think those "6" inch stilletos are an accident in motion. So I guess i am not that much of a girly girl. I like my jeans, t-shirt and gym shoes or boots. Now that's style. Your blog always makes me laugh. Thank you.

Faith said...

Libby, I wore heels in high school. Had a pair that turned colors, depending on how the light it them and how bright the light was. They killed my feet, but at 16, I took pain and style over comfort, lmao.

Anthology Authors said...

I'm sure there is, Libby. Personally, I think heels belong in Hell, but that's just me. (g)

Anthology Authors said...

I'm glad you enjoy our blog, Sharon. I must admit that I chuckle when I write some of my posts. It's a good thing I find myself amusing. Life has enough challenges without adding being too serious to the list. :)

Anthology Authors said...

Oh, I was never a heel wearer, not even in high school. Perhaps it's due to being on a swim team/playing water polo. Doing my make up/hair made me look like Rosemary after prom once I got in the pool. Why waste my time? And since I was going to wear sweats anyway, it didn't make sense to wear heels with them. However, I have this feeling that even if I didn't swim or play polo, I wouldn't have worn heels. I just don't do that. LOL

Honoria Ravena said...

I love makeup, but that's about all. I do shave my legs, but not as often as every beauty magazine would have you do it, but that's because I find it painful. I must have girly sensitive skin or something because no matter how new, or high quality to razor is, it hurts and leaves burn.

I love high heels...Well correction. I love the look of high heels. And unlike Cassie Exline, I like the clack clack as I'm walking. I feel it's kind of authoritative and bitchy, which I like sometimes. I'm also 5'1" so I love the additional height, but as for putting them on, and walking around? Heck no. I know if I put on high heels I've got an absolute maximum of 30 minutes of walking I can do, and then they must come off. And its just too big of a pain in the ass to tote around a pair of flip flops to change into.

Now most platform shoes are all right. They seem to distribute weight better than heels, and I can wear them, but I still like flip flops better.

*Shrugs* I'll never be fashionable. I guess I'll just have to stick to playing in the makeup.

Patricia said...

I just stumbled on this blog after reading Marci's comment on FB and laughed out loud. I blogged about what people were wearing on their feet several weeks ago and the majority said.....flip flops! I wear Jordan men's basketball shoes with tons of padding and cushiony soles. I'm never without them. I like the "look" of heels but they kill my feet. And, I own a pair of Ugg boots which are wonderful for the winter.
Patti

Anthology Authors said...

Honoria,

I'm right there with you at never wearing them. (g) Once a year...maybe. And that's a big maybe. (g) I'm not so worried about height, but I'm 5'7", so putting on heels makes me taller than a lot of men. (g) It's great for intimidation, if that's what you're into. ;)

Marci

Anthology Authors said...

Welcome, Patricia. I'm glad we can make you laugh. (g) That's what this blog is mostly about: laughter. Well, that and ranting. LOL

Marci

Robyn M Speed said...

OMG I love the pic of those boots! Where do I go to buy them???

I might be in slippers (winter) or bare-feet (summer) at home, but when I go out -- even if it is just to the shops -- I LOVE pulling on my red stiletto boots! They are HOT!!!

And...they look so perfect as I open the door of my sports car and step out of the car. It's all about the LOOK. (It has to scream 'Oh, GOD, I am desperate for some sex!!!)

I want to ad a shoulder tattoo to the 'look' too .... anyone got any nice dragon and phoenix tattoos????

Anthology Authors said...

You have some CFM red boots, Robyn? HAHAHAHAHA I would never have thought you were the type. (g)

Anthology Authors said...

Apparently, the boot was not Louboutin, but from here:http://www.darksideenterprises.com/Tony+Shoes+&+Anthony&%238217;s+Shoes-THIGH+HIGH+BOOTS/c191_196/p7683/H-2+Glitter/product_info.html

You can get them in red sparkly, too, Robyn. (g)

Robyn M Speed said...

Once upon a time I was not the 'type' ... and then, well, let's just say I think I hit my stride!!!

DARRELX said...

Sounds to me like you are a real woman. no woman should ever have to shave their legs. It’s a damn tragedy. There is nothing more sexy then a woman with hairy legs or wherever the hair is suppose to grow. I find that so damned sexy. Body hair is natural and normal. Why do women shave their legs. I do not know. It breaks my heart. Hairy legs is an aphrodisiac. If your man does not love your hairy bodess, he is the one with the missing gene.

Anthology Authors said...

I think it's ironic, Robyn, that when women hit their stride, their mates often lose theirs. (sigh) That's when we need a boy toy. (g) (Don't tell my husband I said that. ;) ) Or maybe we just need a BOB. (g)

Anthology Authors said...

Thanks, DarrelX. My husband met me during a non-shaving period. While he prefers my legs shaved, it's not a deal breaker for him, which is a good thing as that wouldn't change whether I shave or not. (g)

However, when I shave, I swim faster. I still don't do it that often. (g)

Janice said...

I have wide feet. I don't mean just wide but E withe wide. You can't even find a pair of E's now.

High heels? Forget it. If I wear them at all, I take them off at the first opportunity. At my own wedding, after the "I do's" were said, I shucked my three inch heel and ran around in my nylons.

Janice~