My husband and I engage in a lot of silent conversation. You know the type: he says one thing, but means something else. You say something and mean something else. What you are really saying is in what’s not said. This past weekend, and yesterday, Charlie and I engaged in this entertaining game. It went something like this:
Charlie: We need to wash socks. (Read: Could you throw a load of socks in?)
Me: That’s nice. (Read: I don’t need socks. You need socks. If you want me to do it, you’ll have to ask me properly. Besides, you aren’t doing any more than I am. Do it yourself!)
A very short conversation, to be sure, but I have talked to him about this before. Making a statement like that is not how you get me to do something. (g) Asking is better. Just because I work from home doesn’t mean I have nothing to do but your laundry/errands all day. Despite my noncompliance, the conversation continued yesterday.
Charlie: We need to wash socks. I’m down to holey ones. (I’m still wanting you to throw in a load of wash.)
Me: That’s nice. (Why are we repeating the same conversation? This didn’t work yesterday. And don’t ask now because you could have done this over the weekend. You know how contrary I am.)
Later Monday night
Charlie: I know you and Lily haven’t been wearing many socks, but I really need some. (You wander around barefoot or in flip flops because you don’t work, so do you think you could wash mine for me?)
Me: (Silence. We’ve been through this. Numerous times. What’s so hard about asking?)
No conversation, not even silent, has addressed this subject today. I am debating on whether or not to wash them. Yes, I am that contrary. I would laugh, because this whole situation is so stupid it’s hilarious, if I wasn’t so irritated by the whole thing. I might just let him hit no clean socks this time. Maybe he’ll learn. (g)
Now, I have to be fair and share a conversation full of silent words that had I just said what I wanted, it would have been much easier. That being said, I was tired, sick, hungry, and grouchy. Why didn’t I just say what I was on my mind? Gah! I don’t know. That would be too easy. (g)
Charlie: What do you want for dinner?
Me: I don’t know. (I want a burrito from Tito’s.) Something easy.
Charlie: How about Del Taco?
Me: Well, I kind of want a burrito. I don’t know if they have one I like there. (I don’t want to go to Del Taco. I want a burrito from Tito’s.)
Charlie: Why don’t we just go look? You don’t know.
Me: Yeah, I really don’t think they will have one I like there. Their tacos have been a little spicy lately. I don’t feel like even a little spicy. (I don’t want to go to Del Taco. I want a burrito from Tito’s.)
We are almost to Del Taco. He’s still insisting I take a look. Finally, I can’t take it any longer and say what’s really on my mind:
I don’t want to go to Del Taco. I want a burrito from Tito’s.
Charlie: (He looks at me and shakes his head.) Why didn’t you just say that?
Me: (Giggle) Surely you could tell I didn’t want to go to Del Taco. You should have from what I was saying.
He shakes his head again and chuckles.
BTW, I got what I wanted, but I’m still on the fence about his socks. What do you think?