Thursday, 21 April 2011

PDA or Public Displays of Affection

Yesterday while walking home from swimming, I saw a couple who needed to get a room. These weren’t teenagers. Anymore, I almost expect teenagers to try to stick their tongues down each other’s throats. It doesn’t seem to matter where they are. Everywhere is their bedroom. o_O

So, yesterday when I first stepped out of the pool area and onto the sidewalk, I saw it.I wasn’t sure what it was. They appeared as just a blob, obviously human, but it didn’t have a face, just this curly, out of control hair. The more I looked at it, the more I realized that it had to be two people. Was it an adult and a child? And then the arms moved in a way that shouldn’t happen between a child and an adult. (Eep!)

At that point, I realized it was two adults mauling each other in a public park full of high school kids. He was on sitting with his feet under him; she was sitting on his “lap.” They were wearing about the same color (taupe). His taupe newsboy cap blended in with his bald head, which explained why I was confused about the hair and no face. The kids didn’t seem to mind, but me? Really, people! They were obviously at least in their 30s, possibly 40s. Do you need to act like teenagers in the park?

Obviously, I found this tongue-down-throat-hands-all-over-the-place to be a bit much.

I remember as a child at a local mall this couple groping each other. Well, sort of. The woman had on a pair of camel toe inducing pants. The man’s hand cupped her butt, the fingers wrapping around and venturing into her crack. Her hands cupped his butt, too, unlike this photo. They walked ahead of us. Even at ten years of age, this seemed inappropriate to me. This wasn’t something I really wanted to see then. (Nor would I want to now.)

Was I prudish? Eh, I don’t know. My parents were affectionate in front of us kids. They hugged, kissed (quick kisses), and my dad would pat Mom on the butt, but there was no full on groping, etc.

Now, my husband has a hard time even giving me a quick kiss in front of our daughter. In part because a simple kiss can turn him on. (grin) Being the evil person that I am, I like to tease him. (grin) It's fun, it's painless (for me), and I don’t want my daughter to think showing affection is a bad, uncomfortable thing. However, I want her to be a mauler either.

Holding hands, hugging, or a quick kiss doesn’t bother me. Mauling, hands in crotches, tongue kissing, lying on top of each other as if you are dry humping, etc. does. If you are doing to do any of that, get a room. I don’t want to see it, hear it, or smell it. (I’m not saying I’ve smelled it before. Well, at least not someone else’s. I mean… Okay. I’ll shut up now. Grin)

Here are some photos to test your limits. So, what do you find acceptable?

Photo 1: Acceptable? Unacceptable?

Photo 2: Acceptable? Unacceptable?

Photo 3: Acceptable? Unacceptable?

Photo 4: Acceptable? Unacceptable?

So, what's your limit?


Jaime Samms said...

Alright, those gopher are definitely going to far! lol

My limit? If you won't show it in public, no one should be touching it in public, either. It seems reasonable to me.

The thing about touching is that it is another language, and one kids learn before they learn to speak. SO showing affection through touching is not only appropriate in front of them, but I think it makes it easier to understand what mom and dad mean to one another.

Now, having said that, see my first comment. Holding hands, a soft touch to guide someone through a door or to a chair, or a kiss on the lips shows just how much you care about the little things in your partner, and their little comforts. The big stuff, you can save for a private moment.

anny cook said...

Yeah, I'm too old to see most of that stuff... really. Like the gophers and frogs. :-)

I think do whatever you want to do in the privacy of your home, but in public it's inappropriate. That's a good definition...if you'd cover it up in public, then don't touch it in public.

Anonymous said...

I think it boils down to where the hands are and whether anyone is shedding clothing. Or grinding. No grinding in public. Everything else I can pretty much deal with.

Major squick at camel toe!*shudders*

And have you ever noticed it's usually the really unattractive people sucking face in public? Underscoring the Ozzy photo.

Sara York said...

It depends on where you are. If you are at McDonald's play land then no PDA. Out at night, kissing is fine. I don't want my hubby to grope me though. I once saw two guys groping at Starbucks. It was objectionable not because they were guys, but because it's not acceptable for even straight people to stick their hands down each others pants.

PDA is fine as long as it's appropriate to the situation and as long as the people are mindful of the audience.

Faith said...

I hate stopping in at a lounge nowadays. The younger generation is all about getting crunk and dry humping. URP!

Anthology Authors said...


I was going to post dogs humping, but thought I might offend someone. (g)

The couple had their hands all over each other. Not under clothes or anything, but it just seemed a little much. It wasn't just a cuddle and a kiss. This was full on making out. A little much, in my mind. (g)

Anthology Authors said...


I'm right there with you. Some people, though, seem to not know what is okay and what is not.

Anthology Authors said...

As their faces seemed permanently attached, I couldn't tell whether they were ugly or not, Jenna. (g) Perhaps that is my answer. (g)

Anthology Authors said...

Well, out at night isn't so bad, but it was in a public park, Sara. There were high school kids all over the place. The couple weren't undressing, but he was on his knees and she was on his lap. No space between the two. (Ergo why they looked like one person at first.)

Anthology Authors said...

I know. They don't. Having 40 somethings do it where the teens can see it doesn't help either, Faith.

I suppose it's better than violence.

BTW, Stephen Martin thinks I'm a prude. LOL I guess I am. (g)

Larry Payne said...

Well, if you're a prude,I'm joinin' ya! I have a big problem with the "Get a Room" antics I see on a daily basis.I have two young granddaughters, one just turned 21 and the other is 16. Don't even let me come across them exhibiting the give a shit attitude a majority of the young people have today.
There's a time and a place and it ain't in the park.

Starfox Howl said...

As for PDAs, I mean real out in the open type of PDA's, keep the hands where I can see them. Nobody's hands should be going down his pants, up her skirts or inside a blouse. Her hands inside his shirt doesn't bother me for some reason.

There's a time and a place for everything and PDA's should be appropriate for the area you're in. If you at Mickey D's playland, nothing more than kissing or hugging. If you're at the beach, then I would expect a whole 'nother level of PDA's. I mean, all that bare skin and having the excuse of putting sunblock on each other.

Children should be exposed to displays of affection. I would rather have them exposed to that, than the violence we have on television and the saggy pant, gang banger thuggish behavior that's so commonplace nowadays.

Faith said...

You mentioned the beach, Starfox. I was once at the local lake beach and swam past a couple actually doing the deed in the water. They weren't even in deeper water, they were within a few yards of the kids playing in the shallows. When I realized what they were doing, I was like three feet away from them and I FREAKED.

Janice said...

A cuddle and a kiss in public is one thing, but keep the hands out of the crouch, butt crack or breast area--PLEASE!

Cassie Exline said...

If I had thought PDA's were okay, photo one would have cured that misconception in a hurry. (((shudders))) Don't mind a kiss or even a pat on the fanny, but I don't want to witness more than that.

Anthology Authors said...

Well, Larry, I'm not saying someone else's comfort level is wrong. I was just wondering where others draw the line. I think most of us are good with the hug, quick kiss, holding hands, even two people just holding each other. It's when they start making out, hands straying to crack, inside of clothes, boobs, etc, that we don't care for it.

Anthology Authors said...

Starfox, spreading sun screen/tanning lotion is okay...within reason. (g) And tantalizing each other is fun. No question about it. Let's just remember where we are. :)

Now, had I seen a couple kissing on the beach, I'm okay with that too. Moving beyond the kissing with the whole hands caressing each other like they want to get it on... not so much. LOL

Anthology Authors said...

Ew, Faith! I would have freaked, too. Talk about exhibitionists!

Anthology Authors said...

LOL, Cassie. Aren't you glad I didn't include the dog humping photo? (g)

Quick question: is it more acceptable from animals than humans? (g) Or does that gross you out, too? Of course, it does gross me out when I see cats and dogs sniffing each other's butts, but I suppose that's because I wouldn't want to stick my nose some place like that. (g)

Anthology Authors said...

You and I are on the same page, Janice. :)

Faith said...

AHAHAHA!!!!!! Only you, Marci, LOLOL, only you!

Anthology Authors said...

I can't help it, Faith. My mind has a mind of its own. (g)

Ginger Simpson said...

What an interesting topic. There's no end to what people will do in public, and I believe they crave attention. I'm totally disappointed in Mrs. "O" She's old enough to know better. Ozzie's brain is so fried, he probably thinks he's massaging her shoulder blades. *lol*

I'm weighing whether or not I'd rather see people groping and fondling in public or view the ridiculous things I see at Wal-Mart that pass as acceptable attire.

Nike Chillemi said...

I'm at the point that when I see hands in intimate places, I almost whip out my phone and take a picture. Hey they're in a public place. They're fair game.

But people are so inappropriate these days that you really don't know how they might react to that. So, I reconsider.

As to the photos, Ozzie and wife are so over the top. Yuk! It goes with the alcoholism. They were funny once, but it's getting old and sad.

As to dogs and cats sniffing butts. I've been involved in animal rescue for years. Butt sniffing has many components. A more dominant animal will show that by sniffing the less dominant animal's butt. It keeps the pack in balance. Also, the butt is like a computer. One good sniff and the sniffer knows the snifee's relative age, health condition, etc.

Empress LaBlaque said...

Excellent article! I love the humorous way you exposed this social issue. Now, can we get the guys to pull up their pants? I’m tired of looking at smelly butt-crack. Whew!

Anthology Authors said...

Ginger, it shocks me period what people will do. Look at that stupid video series "Girls Gone Wild" and all the idiotic antics those girls do--now saved for posterity to see. When they have kids, they'll wish they'd had a few more brains in their heads. The rest of us will wish they didn't procreate. (g)

Anthology Authors said...

Nike, they'd probably be glad that you did it. Why else make out/dry hump in public? (g)

As for dogs and cats/animals sniffing, it works for them, but I'm good with not sniffing anyone's butt. (g)

Anthology Authors said...

I'm glad you enjoyed the post, Empress. Now if I knew how to get those idiots to pull up their pants, I'd be wealthy. Think of all the parents who'd pay good money for the "cure." (g)

Fiona McGier said...

The "cure" to the saggy pants bit is to tell the offenders where the custom came from: jail! It's a "sign" from one inmate to another that he's "up for it", so he wears his pants baggy and hanging down for easy access! Once I told my boys that they discovered what belts were for!

But I don't mind the PDAs. And I'm over 50! But then our kids (all in their 20s) tell us to "get a room", and we remind them that we have an entire house, we just need them to move out of it so we can go back to sleeping nude and making use of rooms other than the bedroom...and the bathroom...and the kitchen when they aren't home...etc.

Anthology Authors said...

Hahahahaha, Fiona. I like that one about the baggy pants. (g) It might make a few of them think twice about baggy pants. (g)

As for your kids, I agree. (g) If they don't want to see them in your house, they can move. (g)