We woke to snow the other day. Only an inch, but due to the below-freezing temps here, it quickly turned to black ice. So this morning it started snowing again, which made walking to school treacherous because the black ice was lurking beneath the new snowfall. The main roads are mainly clear, so it’s actually safer to drive than walk.I really effing hate snow. I don’t find it fun or wonderful. Well, I do, but only when I don’t have to go out in it. I’m quite happy if my cupboards are stocked and we get snowed in. It’s when they aren’t stocked and the snowfall was unexpected that gets me. Trying to get out to the supermarket becomes a mammoth task, and with everyone else on the planet in there whipping groceries into their trollies as though the damn food is going to run out any second, it isn’t an enjoyable experience. I mean, I don’t fancy getting arrested for smacking some mofo over the head for the last carton of milk she’s gripping in her grubby little paws.
So today, no sooner had me and Smallest got to the alleyway, she went arse over tit. She was wearing her new wellies and wasn’t used to how they felt on her feet, plus that ice I mentioned didn’t help. (It annoys me that Word changes wellies to willies. I’m offended that even my Word programme knows I write erotica now and assumes I'd wanted to type something rude.)
Anyway, I’m tottering alongside her, in heels, for eff’s sake—what was I thinking?—praying I didn’t fall over too. I slipped a couple of times, refraining from doing that stupid, womanly noise we all seem to do when we slide on ice or trip in general (Whooop! Oh, deary me! Hee hee hee! Blush) and made it to the school in one piece.
When you next go out into the snow, watch how people walk stiff-legged through fear of falling. Everyone looks like they have a broom handle shoved up their arse. I was no exception. Also, because the snow was coming down, I had my new umbrella up. Hubby pointed out before we left that it matched Smallest’s wellies (red with pink spots—and if you think about Word changing wellies THIS time, I’d say the willy needed a doctor looking at it), so not only are we a family of matching hats, we’re a coordinating mother and daughter. This is starting to make me look really sad…
God, I need to keep track of what I was actually saying. Going off on tangents here. Umm, yeah, the umbrella. So I’m walking along and realised that I was gripping the umbrella handle for dear life. Like doing so would keep me from slipping? I then noticed how much my whole body had tensed due to this evil white stuff that had chosen to fall from the sky and annoy the shit out of everyone. My muscles had had a better workout than when I do my aerobics DVD. Shit, I’m sitting here feeling exhausted now. And I have to do it all over again at 3 o’clock. Marvellous!
I used to love winter. Now, not so much. It equals chapped lips, red noses, colds, coughs, streaming eyes and all manner of things that get on my tits. Oh well, just another thing to add to my list of bugs. And that list, it seems, is getting longer the older I get. I’ll be one of those grouchy old bitches who grumbles and moans at the slightest thing. Rock on!
I just glanced out the window. Some mad bastard just rode up our road on a bicycle. The black ice is really bad in our street. I’m sitting here with my head cocked, waiting for the sound of thuds and “Oh, shit!” as they fall off. And I’m not joking, I glanced out again and some young thing is running down the street. Jesus, I bow to her braveness. Is she inviting a broken leg or what? Maybe that’s the way to go. Run in snow. Ride your bike on black ice. Live dangerously instead of being cautious. Fuck it, throw caution to the wind and go outside with no shoes on and “fake ice skate” to your destination.
Cripes. I’m leaving the crazy sods to it and getting on with my to-do list. Where it’s warm and safe, the kettle is nearby, and the cookies are too close. If they get any closer, I’ll eat them and they’ll be closer than ever before—stuck to my arse and hips.
Whatever the weather where you are, have a great day!
When you next go out into the snow, watch how people walk stiff-legged through fear of falling. Everyone looks like they have a broom handle shoved up their arse. I was no exception. Also, because the snow was coming down, I had my new umbrella up. Hubby pointed out before we left that it matched Smallest’s wellies (red with pink spots—and if you think about Word changing wellies THIS time, I’d say the willy needed a doctor looking at it), so not only are we a family of matching hats, we’re a coordinating mother and daughter. This is starting to make me look really sad…
God, I need to keep track of what I was actually saying. Going off on tangents here. Umm, yeah, the umbrella. So I’m walking along and realised that I was gripping the umbrella handle for dear life. Like doing so would keep me from slipping? I then noticed how much my whole body had tensed due to this evil white stuff that had chosen to fall from the sky and annoy the shit out of everyone. My muscles had had a better workout than when I do my aerobics DVD. Shit, I’m sitting here feeling exhausted now. And I have to do it all over again at 3 o’clock. Marvellous!
I used to love winter. Now, not so much. It equals chapped lips, red noses, colds, coughs, streaming eyes and all manner of things that get on my tits. Oh well, just another thing to add to my list of bugs. And that list, it seems, is getting longer the older I get. I’ll be one of those grouchy old bitches who grumbles and moans at the slightest thing. Rock on!
I just glanced out the window. Some mad bastard just rode up our road on a bicycle. The black ice is really bad in our street. I’m sitting here with my head cocked, waiting for the sound of thuds and “Oh, shit!” as they fall off. And I’m not joking, I glanced out again and some young thing is running down the street. Jesus, I bow to her braveness. Is she inviting a broken leg or what? Maybe that’s the way to go. Run in snow. Ride your bike on black ice. Live dangerously instead of being cautious. Fuck it, throw caution to the wind and go outside with no shoes on and “fake ice skate” to your destination.
Cripes. I’m leaving the crazy sods to it and getting on with my to-do list. Where it’s warm and safe, the kettle is nearby, and the cookies are too close. If they get any closer, I’ll eat them and they’ll be closer than ever before—stuck to my arse and hips.
Whatever the weather where you are, have a great day!
Shameless pimping…
Over at Three Wicked Writers Plus Two, every weekday up until Christmas you can win a prize. There’s already an ebook to win from Madison Scott on yesterday’s post, so get your arses over there and leave a comment if that takes your fancy, and pop by every day to see what you could win! Goodies galore!
33 comments:
Oh, I detest snow too. The only time I like it is on Christmas morning. Not before and not after! :)
Same here, Amber, and it never seems to snow on Christmas here anymore.
:o(
I hate snow. It needs to snow only on Christmas and that's it. And then I'm not against a green Christmas. :)
We sure don't get much snow here in SE Texas, but WHEN we do, I love it....as long as I'm inside, looking OUT at it with, as you say, the pantry stocked.
I laughed about the umbrella, gripping it tight, as though it would hold you up.
You're right. It's beautiful stuff, but only to enjoy from inside, not having to trudge around in it.
I had no clue what wellies were, but then you're often my UK dictionary, lol, aren't you? What does this mean? What does that mean? Never heard that word before, so is it a UK word...
But when I saw the pic, I instantly understood because we have those boots here too.
I love to write while it dumps snow, especially now that I have a window right next to my desk. There's just something about snow (and rain) that inspires me and makes me want to write all day. Although too much rain will make me sleepy, lol.
Enjoyed the post. You always make me laugh, Sarah.
I love snow. Want snow. Need snow. We rarely get any here. And even when we do and it drags on---like the time it snowed 27 inches and we were pretty much locked inside for two weeks---I still loved it.
There's something very whimsical, magical, and romantic about snow. I'm surprised I haven't written a story with snow in it. But then again, maybe not. Even though I think it's romantic, I've never experienced a romantic moment involving snow. Hmmmm...well, that's what my imagination is for right? Okay, snow story on the way--at some point, lol
Years ago I tried skiing. Went all the way down the slope on my backside. So snow, to me at least, is a spectator sport. LOL Yep, I said spectator sport. But I love it. It's cold cold cold here today--and no snow in sight.
Love the cute pics.
LOVE snow! At least untill December 26th. Then I would like it to go straight back to mid 70's thank you very much.
Don't like snow either, Sarah. Used to when I was younger, but as you said, our lists of dislikes grow as we age. lol. It's very cold here today, but with no snow in sight. We had enough frost on the ground to look like snow though.
Why is it winter seems so much longer than summer? Give me heat and sunshine any day!! Stay safe on your walk to school this afternoon. My fingers are crossed that you stay standing.
I used to enjoy one nice little snowfall because I do think it is pretty when it is falling and no one has gone outside yet to mess it up. After last winter with snowfall after freaking snowfall, I'm done with snow. Completely.
Hear that snow? Go to C, Faith, Tess, and Debbie's houses. Leave the rest of ours alone!
The only time snow is acceptable is Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. It can all melt on the 26th.
Until my hubby starts driving again. When I can hibernate in winter, and not have to leave the house, only then can it snow all it wants. But until then, I'd be perfectly happy if it never dipped below 60.
You tell it, Molly! LOL I've got a kid who is probably applauding right about now. lol You know how it is, no school here when it snows. Yayyyyy for all the kids and a snowflake flying through the air.
I remember when the kids were in elementary school. When it snowed, I'd move all the furniture up against the walls in the living room and set up a big tent for them to pretend they were camping out. lol It was a mess for sure. food everywhere, sleeping bags, lots of giggling and running around. But a nice memory for sure.
Sooo funny! I live in the southern US, so even the threat of snow sends everyone into a panic, and then the grocery store. And then everything shuts down, "just in case".
Valerie, about 12 years ago I was in Florida during Christmas and a freak ice storm hit the top half of the state. We didn't bat an eye at it because we're used to that weather here in the Appalachian foothills, but we waited until the next day when the roads were being cleared to start home. People were going berserk on the roads. I couldn't believe some of the crazy things they were doing!
They're fave thing to do when they'd start sliding was slam on the brakes. That's a big no-no when driving in snow and ice.
You mean you're not prancing around like a pony? LOL Seriously, I hear you, Sister. You're singing my song. Try driving over two mountains in that white crap. I pray going over and pray going down. I'm sure to be Heaven bound, that if the cursing is overlooked. Can't help it, there are morons on the road. ;)
Agreed, Anny!
:o)
Woman after my own heart, CZ!
:o)
Faith...so do you just call wellies boots?
:o)
Tess, I don't mind the cold, just so long as it doesn't bloody snow. It's so cold here at the moment. Think it's possibly the coldest week we've had in years. As in, freezing-your-toes-off cold.
:o)
Deb, do you have 70s now? If you do, I envy you!
:o)
Lisa...Hubby went and collected her for me. Mwhahaha.
:o)
I agree, Cherie. Untouched snow looks so lovely. It's the crappy shit we have that I hate.
:o)
You have snow too, Molly? Are you in the UK?
:o)
Gawd, Valerie. It's the same here. People start freaking OUT!
:o)
Cassie, hahahaha! No, not pracing like an effing pony, love. Shudder at the thought!
:o)
I like it when I'm curled up near a fireplace and have no plans of going out. I love the first layer of bright white snow, especially around Christmas.
But I hate it when my car gets stuck in a slushy pile and I have to dig it out with a shovel. Being in Canada, the freezing temps are more of a challenge.
Evie
My browser wigged out, so this is the second time I'm posting this.
Sarah, to answer your question, we call boots like that golashes(sp?) or rain boots. It might be a regional thing, tho, but most of the time, any plastic, rubber, or vinyl boots are golashes or rain boots.
Yep, Evie. The temps are doing our heads in here. It's like your face is freezing. Horrible!
:o)
Oh, righty ho, Faith. Our wellies are a shortened version of wellington boots. Might be something to do with a bloke called Wellington, not sure.
:o)
I can't imagine living where it's warm all the time, but it would be nice!
:o)
We call em golashes too, Faith. :)
I didn't say it was warm all of the time. LOL It's been cold for here. LOL It's even dropped into the 30s at night. Brrr...
We had a light dusting of snow here in Indiana this morning, Sarah, but thankfully the sun came out and melted it:)
All boots are 'boots', depending on the style. I have 'dress boots' and 'snow boots'.
When I was a kid, 'galoshes' were the rubber boots we pulled on over our shoes.
Ah, ok, Molly. I got all excited that you were a Brit like me. I always feel a minority LOL.
:o)
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