It's Alive!

Or so I found the day after Thanksgiving when Charlie, our daughter, and I arrived home to a refrigerator that needed to be defrosted. I can tell you I was just thrilled to have to do this after a 3 1/2 hour car ride. Honestly, I wanted to just chuck the entire frig, but who wants to spend $400-800 on a new frig right before Christmas? (Or any time for that matter.)

So, it's five o'clock. We should be eating dinner, or getting ready to eat dinner. Instead, I'm pulling food out of my refrigerator, stuffing what's salvageable into bags to take to Charlie's parents' house, and leaving other stuff on the counter that can be tossed. (Must be tossed. "Can" is such weak word for what needed to be done.)

I have to admit this was a good thing. I found some things in my refrigerator... Well, I wouldn't have been surprised if when I opened a few of the containers to clean them, they said, "Momma." (If any had looked at my daughter and said, "Sissy," I wouldn't be writing this post. (g)) There were some things that had been shoved to the back that I'd forgotten were in there. Things with expiration dates of (gasp) 2006! (Eep!) Things that looked like they had in 2006, which tells you that perhaps you shouldn't buy that again. (g) (These were of course things like jam and whatnot. At least, that's what I'm claiming.)

In case you are wondering, I do wipe down the inside of the frig when it's needed. We don't spill much, we do rotate or clear out our food every week, so it's not needed often. And sometimes, I'll just wipe down the spill and not disturb anything else. Apparently, I need to start disturbing other things--things that are shoved to the back--say once every couple of months because four years is just unacceptable.

HAHAHAHAHA

I laugh because four years is so far beyond acceptable that I'm boggled that it went so long. How did that happen?

Well, it's easy. For instance, my husband likes to keep the salsa containers when we get Mexican food to go. This drives me nuts. We never (and I mean never) eat that salsa after we've the food. Just throw the damn thing out. Stop being such a packrat. Honestly, one of those containers was bulging from gas. Had we left it any longer, I am sure the lid would have shot off the top and fermented salsa with moldy green chunks would have been everywhere. Next time, I'll just throw that crap away immediately. Well, as long as he doesn't sneak it past me.

That other stuff, I can't blame on him. It's my fault, but still...

Anyway, we are just lucky that stuff didn't start climbing out of the frig and taking over the house. (Hey, that's a good idea for a horror movie, although I imagine it's already been done. It could be called "The Attack of the Moldy Leftovers.")

Now, I will admit that there are times we have some scary shit in there. You know, those leftovers you keep vowing to eat, but after the fourth time you've had it in so many days, you can't bear to eat another bite. There're only really two of us who eat the food I cook, and I am pretty much the only one who eats leftovers. So, a week passes, and the chili starts looking a little squiggy. In the back of my mind, I know I need to throw it out, but guilt at wasting food gnaws at me, so I leave it. I know I'm not going to eat it, but I just can't bring yourself to throw it away. Another week goes by, and those leftovers are taking on a life of their own. Things are growing, but I am still avoiding it because now they are just gross. Finally, I bite the bullet and open the container and, "Aahhhh!!! It's alive!"

Okay, perhaps it's not quite that bad, but those spots of green with white tufts on top are not to be eaten, it reeks to high heaven, and I think, "I should just throw the whole damn thing out." But I won't. I won't because that would be wasting a good container, and the guilt about not eating the food is already starting to consume me as it is. I guess better guilt than rotten food. HAHAHAHAHA

Judging from all of the images on Google of moldy, scary ass food when searching for a good image to use for this post, I am not the only one with this affliction. (g) Not that I thought I was, but, eh, it's good to know I have some company.

BTW, the images were so disgusting I decided against using any. Instead, I chose good ole Gene Wilder from Young Frankenstein. Much funnier and less stomach churning. (g)

This reminds me of some neighbors I had in college. Three pigs, er, guys. Nice guys, but pigs. One of them asked me what it would cost to hire me to clean their apartment. Well, considering that they had left the dishes in the sink for two weeks and there were maggots in it, the carpet was scary (I never walked barefoot in there, and barefoot is my favorite shoe.), and the bathroom... Well, there were three guys living there. What do you think? Yeah, I let him know he couldn't pay me enough to clean their apartment. That place was one giant petri dish.

Oh, our refrigerator works perfectly now, and you could eat your food from any shelf. (g) Everything that could be taken apart and cleaned on it was. While I don't like cleaning, when I do clean, I am a bit fanatical about it. LOL Things you never thought would be bright white again miraculously blind you from the shine. I can't help myself. It must be the anal part of my nature. LOL

So, any refrigerator horror stories to share? Come on, I know I'm not the only one. (g)