Tuesday, 7 December 2010

Don't Need to Say Much Today


I'm usually kind of long-winded. I know that. But today this blog really needs no big introduction or major explanation. It sort of does that all by itself.

I told you about teaching Jess to drive the stick in yesterday's post. Well, in doing that I told you about the "mouth" she's got on her, too, and all about her ROAD RAGE issues.

So yesterday afternoon, I was riding shotgun--yeah, I should know better--and we were rolling through town on our way to the veterinarian's office (my blog topic for tomorrow, btw), and someone cuts in front of Jess in traffic. Just whips in front of her (it's a big four-lane road). Jess somehow sees this as skipping line in front of her. I finally figured that out--a leftover from elementary and middle school, I'm sure. She can't seem to get it in her head that even though she's speeding, there will always be someone else who wants to go even faster.

Well, when this rude individual (according to her) skipped in line in front of her (a perfectly safe maneuver on that driver's part, I might add), Jess went ballistic. "YOU C***SUCKER!" Okay. Now let's talk about that word I just bleeped out. I don't use that word. Never have. But Jess uses it rather liberally in reference to individuals who have the nerve to offend her while driving down the road. I don't know where she picked up this particular affinity for that word and haven't asked. But I do look at her c***sided when she says it.

Anyway, this blog is getting a bit long, isn't it? And I said it wouldn't...so hurrying up now...She screamed that out at the driver, who, of course, could not hear her. And then she reached into the side pocket of her door panel and grabbed her handy dandy blackberry, started waving it in the air, and to the top of her lungs shouted:

"I'M GONNA REPORT THAT C***SUCKER FOR DRIVING DRUNK. WHAT'S THE NUMBER FOR 911?"

Yes, it would seem I've raised the village idiot. And yes, we pulled over again so I could drive.

16 comments:

Lisa Alexander Griffin said...

LOL...I'll keep you in my prayers, Tess. "What's the number for 911?" Sheesh! I'd a taken over the driving again too.

anny cook said...

Does the use of "those" words bother you as much as it bothers me? I never, ever swore in front of my children. But one in particular has a total potty mouth and I can't figure that out. The other three might use the "words" with their contemporaries, but never with me. Go figure...

Tess MacKall said...

There is something about driving, Lisa, that simply takes over her intelligence and reduces her to a foul-mouthed, crazed, idiot. I don't get it.Otherwise, she's highly intelligent, kind, caring...

but on the highway, she's Mad Max.

Hales said...

LOL Tess, so glad I'm not driving yet though. I was workin on something and happened to need to go get sustenance from the kitchen. I pass my oldest with a bar of soap in her mouth and my fiance playing scrabble with the others.

I said what did you say and he says she called her sister a mother f***er. I was like potty mouth girl that bar of soap is becoming your best friend.

My son uses words in place off cuss words and when I'm not around, which earns him a cuff to the back of the neck or head depending on my mood for being an asshole.

I have cussed in front of mine. Not a lot, not much of a cusser if that's a word. They pick up odd sayings from school to though and habits.

Tess MacKall said...

I don't understand where she got that word. I guess I should ask her, but the only time I've heard her use it is during one of her road rage episodes and I'm usually too busy praying or begging for order and my life to say anything to her.

She usually doesn't swear at all other than a damn or hell fire gosh almighty...but when that road rage hits...BAM...she could teach a boatload of sailors.

I've cussed in front of her. But not to the point that she'd consider it something she should do. And it's not my habit to cuss while talking. Upset? Yes, I may let a few swear words fly. So I don't really understand her need for using the foul language---but it's got something to do with her road rage. Her boyfriend will not ride with her. If they are in her car, he drives. He's flat out told me that he will not let her behind the wheel when they are together.

Tess MacKall said...

Do you really do the soap thing, Hales? I can't with Jess---she's nineteen. I'd get locked up. lol I don't think she'd just stand there and let me do it either. Might make her a sandwich some day with some soap shavings for garnish though. lol

Melissa Bradley said...

Oh Tess...I don't know what to say because I have my own moments on the road here.(hangs head in shame). However since I do drive with my nephews in the car, my swearing has become rather creative. Instead at any given time if someone ticks me off in traffic can be heard things like "God bless America you fuzzy bobble-headed rhinoceros." or "Out of my way, you lint-licking road hog." Childish and rather embarrassing, I know. The kids laugh hearing me splutter such nonsense and my road rage moments are over very quickly because I start laughing, too.

Faith said...

Tess, I'd've come unglued on one of my kids for that. Even Michael who is going on 20 does not talk that way in my home, in a vehicle or around his siblings like that without me lighting him up like a Christmas tree for it.

He tends to have a bit of road rage too. Thank God the last time I rode with him he was on good behavior.

Hey three, Hales! I've used a bar of soap on one of mine for lying CONSTANTLY. It cured them of it too. And you're like me when it comes to cuffing them too. With my oldest girl, I'll holler, "MOUTH!" and she corrects herself.

Tess MacKall said...

You know, Melissa, you may have given me an idea. I think the next time I'm in the car with her and something happens, I'm going to start singing something like you suggest to the top of MY lungs and possibly direct her attention to me.

When she gets quiet, I'm going to tell her that she needs to make up a song every time she gets upset on the road. Possibly transferring her rage into something humorous and creative.

When all is said and done, though, I'm not as concerned about her language as I am the fact that she HAS road rage. It's pretty intense and I don't know why she gets so upset.

When someone makes a maneuver around me that I feel is unsafe or too aggressive for safe driving, I back off, just slow down and let them have the road and get on down the road and away from me for my own safety. She, on the other hand, speeds up to catch them. What she plans to do if one of them ever pulls over for her is beyond me.

But her issues need to be dealt with. And I still don't know why she didn't know the number for 911. sighhhh...yep, this family is giving her hell over that one.

Thanks for the idea, Melissa...I'm definitely going to try it with her and see if it sticks.

Sarah Masters said...

Oh my word! I did LOL at her use of that word. I swear a hell of a lot, so understand her usage of it.

Never done the soap-in-the-mouth thing. Don't agree with it, but I won't get into why. If others do it, that's their business.

:o)

Tess MacKall said...

Well, I cut them a little slack sometimes in the way they express themselves, Faith. C is on X Box quite a bit with gamers from all over the world and all ages, shapes, sizes, and customs. The language the gamers use can get pretty bad. But...he's bonding with other males---one or two girls.

At first it shocked me. But I've seen how it changed C too. For the better. Now could he have managed it without the four language? I don't think so. It's a lot to get into---but he was very shy up until a couple of years ago when he started online game play.

But right about the time he started, he came home from school one day and told me about an incident he'd had with another guy who'd been bothering him for quite a while. The guy said something to him and C said something back. And what C said, had bad language in it.

I know my eyes got really big and I opened my mouth to speak---but C raised his hand and said something like this: I know you're upset about the language that I used, but you have to understand that if I hadn't said it to him like that it wouldn't have had the same impact on him. He'd have thought I was a WUSS.

I got that. I really got that. C was/is learning to navigate the waters of male bonding. So when I hear him on X Box...I understand. He's learning to fit in. And I'm sure there are those who would say you don't have to swear in order to fit in---and they're right in a lot of ways. But sometimes you have to give a child a bit of independence when finding their way and I can honestly say that the kid's grades are through the roof great.

His teachers marvel at his politeness and sensitivity toward others--the way he can be a team player on projects and at the same time work independently. So my proof is in the pudding, so to speak. lol

As for Jess---I am clueless how swear words are helping her. sighhhh

Tess MacKall said...

I've never done the soap thing either, Sarah. I guess it works in some cases. But I can't see me doing it. I think I might get sick. lol

Anthology Authors said...

I think because my daughter is so young, I haven't experienced that yet. (g) My mouth started early, but then I have three older siblings. (g) That being said, I never cussed in front of my parents. Well, once, but Dad put cayenne pepper on tongue, and that was the end of that. HAHAHAHAHA Actually, no, that was for talking back. I didn't dare cuss in front of them until in my twenties. At which point, my father gave me that look and said, "I'm not impressed." Um, yeah, I shrank a good 5 feet. LOL He believed that by using your words intelligently, you can insult someone much more effectively than with profanity. (g) I have to say it's true. You can.

That being said, there are situations that just call for a good cuss word. Those situations are often in the car. ;-) Alas, with a 6 year old in tow, I refrain and have become highly creative too. LOL

Tess MacKall said...

I agree, Marci. Some situations just scream for a good ole cuss word. I seem to have right many of those situations lately too. Just had one. lol

Hot pepper in the mouth, huh? I guess that equates to a taste of Hell, exactly where these cuss words are supposed to take us. hee hee hee

C. Zampa said...

Tell me she did not really ask the number for 911? LOL.

Jess sounds like a perfect candidate for Houston traffic. No nice-nice here! No 'cutting in line', either! LOL.

When teaching others to drive, makes you wish your car had the dual breaks like the driver's education instructors had, so you could have breaks on the passenger side as well!

Good luck, Tess!

Tess MacKall said...

Yep, CZ. She really said it. And this family has not let her forget it either. It was the last thing she heard from her brother before lights out last night. And her boyfriend wrote the number for 911 down on a piece of paper and taped it to her dashboard. uh huh...those words of hers will haunt her forever.