Thursday, 17 November 2011

When Cougars Attack: Acknowledging & Adapting to Limits

Hi all, please allow me to introduce myself before I get too far into this. I’m Becca Dale, and I write and edit steamy to erotic romance. My children (22 and almost 21) are aware Mom writes romance, but they are blissfully ignorant of the heat level as they have no interest in the genre, which is fine by me. I really don’t want them to know the things that flirt, bump, or grind through their mother’s mind. However, they seem to have no problem sharing things with me. Which brings me to today’s topic. I have read some pretty hot cougar romances and have even written one; however, a recent conversation with my son has brought a question to mind: are erotic authors creating fantasies that real women should be cautious in fulfilling?

I’m all for fun in whatever package it arrives. As long as it is consensual, go for it. However, at twenty-two my son, an attractive, dark-haired man with a preference for dress clothes over jeans, tends to attract older women. Now, by this I do not mean those five to fifteen years his senior, though he gets attention from them, as well. I mean double to triple his age. Last Saturday he was hit on by five different women ranging in age from mid forties to early eighties. I tried to tell him they just thought he was cute—like a son or grandson—until he shared the things they said.

Nope—no motherly or grandmotherly feelings there.

The poor kid was at a loss on how to react. He has always been taught to be respectful of his elders, but what should he say when someone his mother’s age offers to teach him things he has only imagined? Or a woman older than his nana asks if he’d like her to demonstrate how flexible she still is? He was downtown with several other young people, so not quite sure how he wound up talking to these women, but his friends’ explicit ribbing confirmed he had not imagined the situation after a few too many beers.

Despite how heartwarming it was to hear he had been polite and sweet and even a little flirty to save their feelings, images I did not want flooded my head and made me generally concerned for these women. What if he had taken them up on the deal? So here is a chart on how to address and adjust to very real issues for anyone engaging in a cougarish situation with a young man barely over the age of majority.




You do not want to be pregnant and afraid.
Buy condoms in bulk. Recovery time may be shorter than you remember.

Massage Therapy is expensive.
Stretch well before playing.

Your granddaughter may have dated the target.
Consider hunting in a different state or country - I hear Frenchmen are Fabulous!

Your knees may not hold out.
Avoid Doggie Style.

Certain positions could break a hip.
DO NOT - under any circumstances - allow the kitten to throw your legs over his shoulders.

Remember, Medicare is not designed to pay for sexual injuries, ladies, so approach kittens with caution. However, if you Acknowledge your potential limitations and Adapt accordingly, you should be fine. On a more personal note, if you succeed in seducing my son, I don’t want to know about it.

Born and raised in rural South Dakota, Becca Dale represents the girl next door personified. The open prairies and quiet, pine-covered hills of the Upper Midwest feed her creativity and keep her work grounded in reality while the stoic can-do attitude and twisted sarcasm of her family and friends provide endless inspiration. A farmer’s daughter, an engineer’s wife, and a high school teacher, she brings a hint of the common woman to her writing. Although her characters, especially the paranormal ones, sometimes reflect the ordinary on steroids, there remains a sense of reality.

As a multi-published author Becca strives to walk the line of romantic erotica—venturing into the wild while never forgetting that the main focus should always be love.  Her work has received top reviews world wide, and she loves to hear from fans and critics alike. Contact her on Facebook or Twitter or visit her blog at 


Faith said...

LOL, love that chart!

Valerie Mann said...

I need to make sure that I follow the proper steps as I grow older so I don't hurt myself! Thanks for watching out for our welfare, Becca!

Becca Dale said...

Thanks ladies. Being prepared is key in any situation. ;-D

Kate Richards said...

Do you really think it's our books that are leading them on? Makes me feel a great onus of responsibility. I think...they have a realistic knowledge of the abilities of men their own age and figure if they are just looking for a night of fun, why not look for an amusement park where all the rides are in good working order.

Becca Dale said...

LOL - too true, Kate. Why ride the rattling, wooden coaster when the new solid steal one is available?

Mary Quast said...

I have three sons, only the eldest knows what I write and aknowledges it with a roll of his eyes. I hope if he is ever in a similar situation as your son, he is as kind and graceful. I'm afraid I'd need therapy. (However, I'm saving your tips for future reference.)

Katie Harper said...

HAHAHAHA!! I'm saving that chart for a couple of decades so I can refer to it later. Fantastic post Becca!

Anthology Authors said...

Men have been doing this for years. In my 20s, I was hit on by a couple of 50-somethings and a 69 year old (ew!). Yesterday, I walked to the local library, which is only a few blocks away, and a grandfatherly man smiled at me. My experience, especially in LA, that men never do anything without an ulterior sexual motive. Cynical? Yes. True? Most of the time. LOL

My mother is in her 70s. She's quite active. I think she should go for a younger man. (g) I would support her cougarish tendencies, should she have any.

Now, my husband is 10 months younger than me. Not really cougar, but I do like to tease him that he married an older woman. (g)

Fiona McGier said...

Mother Nature designed us so that men hit their peak ridiculously early, and women don't really get comfortable with sex until they are in their the obvious thing to do is offer to teach young men a thing or two! As for much older men? Ew, and Ew again! I used to laugh at old men who tried to pick me up when I was young! I preferred my men to be hard all over! ;-D

Mila Jovovitch became my hero when she abruptly turned down the much older Mick Jagger by reminding him that he's old enough to be her dad, or her grandfather, and she thought that was gross! Actually he's older than me too, and even I would turn him down!

Now if a cougar has a consensual thing with any of my 20-something sons, I'd have no problem with that as long as they didn't go all "Fatal Attraction" on my boys...then I'd have to hunt them down and do some "cougar-killing"!

Becca Dale said...

Thanks ladies, glad it could make you smile. :-D

Yes, guys have been doing it for years, and I say go for it ladies, but I just never expected to see the flip side quite so up close and personal as through the eyes of my kid. It is one thing to write or fantasize about this stuff, another to hear about it.

AA--LOL--I agree. Buy your mother some knee pads and tell her to have fun. We only live once.

Becca Dale said...

Fiona, isn't that the truth. I wouldn't care how old/young a woman was, I would have to get protective if she threatened my son. It is funny how we never lose that instinct. Thankfully the ladies were just flirting -- I think. Some of the comments were a little crude but he is a grown man, he can handle himself.

Clarissa Yip said...

Too funny. I'll have to keep that chart handy so I know for the future! Great post!

Liz said...

fabulous and hilarious! from a Bona Fide Cougar myself.