Monday, 14 November 2011

Happy Birthday to me...

My birthday is this week. 
I will be forty-nine years old.
A couple of years ago (okay, about 40 years ago), having birthdays was fun, and I looked forward to them with great anticipation and planning. My mom always made a big fuss, including letting me have a party with all of my besties and even a few girls I didn’t like, but who always brought cool presents. Plus—make that a BIG plus when it came to holidays, anyway—my mother had remarried. I had nine grandparents as a result, between grandparents, great-grandparents, step-grandparents and great-grandparents. Holy crap, it was a veritable gift bonanza! Why wouldn’t I relish celebrating my birth??
Nine years young and dig that cool Barbie cake.
Now, I’m staring another November 16th in the face and wondering where the hell the years went and how the hell did I get on the way wrong effing side of forty-five? Seriously, that’s freaking old. At least that’s what my kids think. I’m a mother of five and everyone keeps telling me kids will keep you young.

Liars.

Time has continued to march on, and will continue to do so. Result? My right knee hurts and the left one is considering joining the Arthur club. I think about my bowels more (TMI? Sorry).  I have chin whiskers, or as one of my author friends calls them, chin pubes. I have decided chiropractors are necessary, instead of the snake oil salesmen my college anatomy and physiology professor warned us of. I don’t have many gray hairs (at least not where you can see them. ‘Nuff said). Classic rock is now 80s music. So what does that make 70s rock? Oldies, but goodies? OMG, just shoot me now. But wait! There's more...

I got an invitation to join AARP.

Holy. Shit.


No, I really DON'T want to join, thanks, though.

But moving on and finding the silver (albeit tarnished) lining to this old cloud?
 *I can shave my legs. Or not. My choice.
*I never get asked for ID anymore. Ever. Take that for what it’s worth.
*I can claim forgetfulness. And people believe me.
*When I’m too hot, I can blame it on menopause. And people believe me.
*When I’m a bitch, I can blame it on menopause. And people really believe me.
*I am wiser. I really am. And I’m less judgmental and think that no matter who you are or what you believe in (well, almost anything), I don’t really care as long as you’re a good person and follow the golden rule.
*I can do what I want to do now, with less fear of what others think. I want to cut my day job hours and make half of what I was making so I can follow my dream and work in the publishing business? Go, me.
*I write erotic romance, but others think I write porn? Whatever. They’re just ignorant idiots. (Hey, I said I’m wiser and less judgmental…but I can still have opinions!)

Yes, with age come changes. But most of them are good ones, once I wrap my brain around them (except that damned AARP thing). I like myself better than I ever have, I’ve surrounded myself with people I like and I’m doing what makes me happy.  

Happy Birthday to me.

28 comments:

Liz said...

I get you...it's the big Four-Six for me next month. However, I require, nay demand days if not weeks of celebration from those around me for whom I've thrown countless parties and purchased more countless gifts. This year, my super spouse (at least for now) got me tickets to see my beloved Louisville Cardinals play round ball in the 'Ville against Memphis! Rick Pitino fix for mommy! I'll hang with my bestie roomie for college who's now a hot shot VP at the University all weekend!
but the celebrations start on Dec. 1 for an entire 17 days prior! Happy Happy Val! You deserve all the respect, hot flash excuses and hairy legs you want!

Jaime Samms said...

Happy Birthday, Val! I turned 41 this year, and yeah, I had that moment when I realized I've reached the age of invisibility as far as the opposite sex ( and the same sex) are concerned. Good thing I already found my forever guy, huh?

Starla Kaye said...

Happy birthday, Val! Happy hot flashes, greetings from AARP, and the other wonderful things that go along with no longer being 20.

steph beck said...

Well Aged (you know, like wine) and Foxy!!! Happy Birthday, lady :)

Casea Major said...

Oh Val, I had no idea you were so old. OMG! I'm shocked. I'm afraid I don't understand because I will be 29 on my birthday(Dec. 20) for the 14th year in a row.

Kate Richards said...

I'm glad you wrote the blog so I remembered to mail your card. I refused to join AARP a couple of years ago then my DH turned 50 and joined and I got signed up at the free spouse...ewwwww. Dangit!.
You are much younger than me at 52 if that helps and I'm totally jealous because I wanted that Barbie cake sooooo bad!

Arlene said...

Happy happy b-day. Dont worry, as time relentless marches on, know that you can embrace each b-day and never quite catch up to me, a new author you just signed on to the 1NS series. Hope it's a not just a good one, but a great day for you.

Barbara Elsborg said...

Happy Birthday - and I will never ever ever ever admit to my age which sort of says everything, doesn't it!! I don't feel my age so I might as well be 27 forever!! Er - except 27 but retired of course, kids over and done with, mortgage paid, perfect health and the wisdom I now have. Not that I can remember anything....

Kathleen said...

Happy Birthday, Val! Your post made my day! I can relate!

I got a senior discount in Dunkin Donuts! Was the clerk blind? I'm only 58! Lol

Have a fantastic birthday! You are still a young chick.

Katie Harper said...

Val, if you need someone to shoot up the AARP headquarters, I'm totally down with that. I haven't unleashed on an unsuspecting office building in a long time. Enjoy your birthday. Be proud that you've survived to see this day and that you haven't killed any of your children. They should throw you a mother effin' parade. Anyway, light a cake on fire and have a piece for me. CHEERS!

Valerie Mann said...

It has just been announced that my husband is buying me a dozen cupcakes from my favorite cupcake shoppe. Beats a Barbie cake hands down!

Faith said...

Val, I've been feeling really under the weather and burnt out the past few days, but this blog gave me the best laugh I've had for a while.

Happy birthday, hon, and thank you for the giggles!

Valerie Mann said...

Four strong women or four thousand strong women...Faith, you're never alone! You feel down, you can always dump on me or another strong woman! Glad you got a little lift. It's not easy being us, ya know?

Anthology Authors said...

Well, I just turned a number over 40 a week or so ago. (g) I've been 29 and holding for a while, even if my body doesn't react like a 29 year old's any more damn it! From a distance (say 25 yards), guys still think I'm in my 30s. (g) Then they get close and realize I'm not. HAHAHAHAHAHA It's entertaining to watch them draw closer and realize they were checking out a not so young woman. (g)

As the Greeks say: Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill every time. (g)

Happy birthday, Val, from one Scorpio to another. ;)

Leanne said...

Hey, imagine that I'm exactly three days older than you. And so I say loudly, "Sing it, sister!"

JM said...

Val, I think you are holding your age very well...uh, hum...Anyway, if you like not shaving, you can always move to Germany. They LOVE hair, there. The more hair the better. Especially the armpits. It's a mark of beauty.
You're awesome Chickie. Have a very happy day, and remember, it's just a number.

Cassie Exline said...

Happy Birthday, Val! A person gets within breathing range of 50 and AARP goes wild. Crazy bunch of nuts.

Robyn M Speed said...

Happy Birthday!!! I think 49 is a very cool age (you can guess what my next birthday is!)

I LOVE your outlook and your attitude! Freakin awesome!

Robyn M Speed said...

Oh, and one more comment: I combat old age with excessive immaturity!!!

And I just got my first tattoo 11 days ago!

Jessica Subject said...

Have a wonderful birthday, Val! I'm only in my 30s, but my birthday has been just another day since my first child was born. My DH did renovate my office this year though as my birthday present. :)

Valerie Mann said...

I think immaturity is highly underrated, especially as we age. I'm amazed at how much more fun we get as we grow older. I only take the important stuff seriously now, I've learned that as life marches on, sweating the small stuff is not worth it!
And I've been begging my husband to let me have a tattoo (I don't beg often but he was adamant about this issue...NO). He told me last week I could have it if I really wanted, and I chickened out. Sigh. I'm such a wuss. An old wuss.

Robyn M Speed said...

I knew my husband did NOT LIKE tattoos....but I did not know he found them 'REPULSIVE' until he arrived back today and told me so! Let's just say that man is wildly unhappy that I got a tattoo. Ooops, looks like I have landed myself right in the shit!

When I told him what the tattoo meant to me and why I got it, he said 'I don't care!'

I did not tell him I was getting a tattoo because I knew he would say 'don't do it' and I was determined I was finally getting one. If I had asked, and then ignored his 'don't do it' it would have been as if I did it to spite him, and I didn't.

I think silent rage and fury are fairly apt descriptions of his mood at the moment.

F....u....c....k.....

Valerie Mann said...

Oh, Robyn. I feel your pain. My husband would have reacted exactly the same way. My friends have said, "it's your body! It's not up to him." Perhaps. But when you put theory up against reality, the lines blur. I hope you still like your tat though, since it meant so much to you.

Robyn M Speed said...

The tattoo is beautiful, STUNNING .. but it is a tattoo....so he HATES it.

Think I may lay low for a while...

Janice Seagraves said...

Happy birthday to you.

I didn't get the AARP until I turned 50. I hate that I turned fifty but then again I like it for all the things you mentioned too.

You go girl. And next year you can be a young fifty like me!

Janice~

Becca Dale said...

Happy Birthday, Ms. Val. And as a note, you can't be old because I am not that much younger and I am a bambi. Hope your day is fantastic.

Fiona McGier said...

Hell, girl, I'm older than you and I'm surviving! I joined AARP for the magazine and the newsletter, both of which are good bathroom reading.

AS for the tats, I went a bit overboard in my early 40s, and just got another one last year to honor my Mom after she passed away. I'm up to about 12 now, I think. Years ago my husband started a conversation, "Hey honey, if I let you keep getting tattooed..." I interrupted him, "Excuse me, LET? It's my body and I'll do what I want with it, thank-you, or you won't be doing anything you want with it!" He then rephrased to ask if he didn't complain about me getting more, would I promise not to run off and leave him to raise our 4 kids by himself, while I rode off into the sunset with 2 cute younger men. I promised. So we are still together and happy, and I may or may not be done getting ink done!

I say if the image is important to you, then it's like a prayer on your body. Go for it!

Robyn M Speed said...

Fiona, I love what you wrote:
"I say if the image is important to you, then it's like a prayer on your body. Go for it!"

A prayer on my body. LOVE it!

You rock!!!