Thursday, 3 November 2011

Are You Fucking Kidding Me?


It's been one of those weeks. Who am I kidding? This started about two weeks ago, although I didn't suspect those next two weeks would basically be in the toilet. Oh, there've been some summits that have kept me sane, but the nadirs... Yeah, they've been pretty good. It could be worse, of course.

So, it started with quarterly reports. I wanted to complete them a week ago Monday, and I have this fabulous accounting program that cuts the time down by nearly two weeks. It's just that I have a knack for finding all of the bugs in this program. It seems every time I use it, I break it. (It's a gift, truly.) This time, I accidentally put in a date when importing some data that made the program crash. (See, I told you I'm good.) They knew about this bug, but no one in the history of the program had found it until...me. (g) I had to send my database to the programmers to fix. Luckily, they work fast. However, this, and a few other things, put me back a day.

I suppose this should have been an omen of sorts for these next two weeks. It wasn't. I mean, I'm used to screwing up the program. (g) It was par for the course, and all was well until Saturday night.

That night Lily came down with a really nasty cold and a fever so high she burned to the touch. This was particularly scary as Lily has had seizures. For two days, sleep did not exist.

It's been up and down from there on out with too many troughs and not enough summits that it's almost funny.

I managed to finish quarterly reports and send them all out a week ago Tuesday, nearly a week in advance. That was a first. Yay me! But Wednesday saw me cleaning the biohazard of a front shower as Mom and Jan, a family friend I haven't seen for 7 years, were coming to stay with us on Friday. If I didn't clean it, Mom would, and I'd be embarrassed to let anyone use it.

Mind you, sleep had still eluded me even though Lily's cold had improved to just a cough. With each successive day, I was growing more exhausted and grumpier. They were scheduled to arrive Friday. They did, but not until midnight. Mom had a key, but couldn't get it to work so she called me. I was sleeping, and despite being exhausted, I pulled my ass out of bed and sat up for another hour. I could sleep in in the morning, right?

Hahahahaha

Um, no. Lily was so excited that Grandma was here, she was up, which meant I was up because she had to come into our bedroom first and wake me. (I love her, but sometimes... ;))

My Saturday plans were shot to hell because Jan wanted to go to Malibu and spend the day on the beach. Lucky for him, we had a beautiful day. Besides seeing them, this was one of the bright spots of the past two weeks. I played with Lily, and we built a sand castle. Of course, I ended the day with a migraine. O.o

Note: From here down, my original blog post was eaten by Google mail. This is why the original post was only partially uploaded by Valerie. (Thank you, Valerie!) Because I wrote it on my iPhone, I do not have a copy, so I am having to rewrite this section. Somehow, I don't think it will be quite the same, but it's what I've got. End Note

Things managed to be okay until Monday night. Around 11 pm, I wandered into the bedroom to grab my night clothes and shower. I opened the underwear drawer and...what was that? Something scurried across my skivvies. Oh, my God, it was a baby cockroach. Seriously?

(sigh)

A cockroach had taken up residence in my underwear drawer. A black cloud quickly formed around me. Although few words slipped through my lips, a virulent stream of obscenities swirled in my mind. The drawer came out, and I took it outside where I searched for the little fucker (Never found it, but it's not in there anymore.), sterilized the drawer after getting all of the cockroach turds out of the back (yes, I know. I know. It was disgusting. Even now, my mouth turns down in a moue of distaste, and I shudder.), and threw all of the underwear into the wash.

That done, I peered into the dresser for no particular reason and saw another baby hiding in a groove. Crap! Now the entire dresser had to be torn apart, the cockroach killed, and the cause of the infestation discovered. )They liked my sock drawer, too, but stayed out of the others. Thank all of the powers that be!)

The cause? One of the dresser feet was wet from a shower leak. Yay! Something else. How exciting! (Insert more swear words here.) However, I was taking a shower despite all of that and going to bed.

But, wait! I don't have any clean underwear. (Head to wall) Since I wasn't going to continue wearing my dirty underwear and I wouldn't turn it inside out, it was commando. While I don't mind going commando on occasion, I want the choice. That night, I had no choice, and this just added to my ire.

And then, the final straw came yesterday when my laptop turned off for no apparent reason. It was plugged in, it should have been working, but it just turned off. Frantic, I called my husband Charlie the computer god. Of course, there's nothing he could do from work. So, I tried plugging it in again and turning it on. VoilĂ , we were in business again for the time being. A few hours later, it died again and wouldn't turn back on.

Charlie came home and pulled out one of the spare laptops we have lying around. One that someone gave him because it was broken, but he magically fixed it. (I have long since stopped trying to figure out how he does that. Truly, he's a magician.) They no longer wanted it and gave it to him. (This does happen on occasion. It's an occupational hazard of being an IT professional.) It's four years old, but runs. I'm happy and love my husband. (g)

Although we'd decided it was just a bad battery, he'd decided to transfer my data to the "new" laptop anyway. I'd be without my laptop that evening. As I'd planned on working after Lily went to bed, this was not good. But I could give up a few hours if it meant having a newer laptop, right? Except, there was an issue with my old laptop's disk, and the data wouldn't transfer properly. And because he has to go to work, I could be without a laptop for several days.

HAHAHAHAHAHA (breath) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (breath) HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I am blessed. Truly, I am. (The only reason I am able to amend this post is because I am able to use the "new" laptop.) I know this, but, oh... if one more thing happens, I might need a straight jacket.

8 comments:

Jim Greer said...

Just...wow. For me, the cockroach would have done me in. I laughed through your post, even though I know it isn't even a little funny.

Anthology Authors said...

Well, I had to laugh, Jim. What else would I do? I wasn't laughing at the time, but, you know, things keep happening, and I've just started laughing. It's either that or the straight jacket. (g)

I failed to mention that I've been working on a crochet hat. Because I've been so out of it, I've had to undo it at least five times now. Granted, I'm still learning to crochet, but it's just been like that.

Faith said...

A coupla weeks ago my laptop wouldn't turn on. I tried for ten minutes to get it to turn on and it wouldn't. I started to cry. My oldest dau started to cry because I was crying. My youngest dau was wandering around the house going "what is wrong with you two?" and I was yelling for her to leave me alone.

Yeah, that's how much I rely on my laptop. Turns out that the hubby was plugging his heater in to the same outlet and it was drawing so much power the laptop couldn't turn on. Scared me silly!

Anthology Authors said...

Oh, Faith, I was pretty upset. I am so far behind on everything, despite the quarterlies taking less time that I just didn't know what to do. Now, I'm over it. So many little things have gone wrong that I can't worry about it too much.

I don't think I mentioned that the brake light in my car is on too.

When it rains, it pours.

Patricia said...

Oh, Marci, I know what happened to you was not funny, but I had to laugh at the cockroach incident. The way you describe it, I could just see it so clearly. And it's quite different than, say, finding a spider or a dead mosquito or something. AACK! At least you can look back on your good time at the beach, right?
Patti Yager Delagrange

Anthology Authors said...

Yeah, the beach was nice. Not what I had planned for Saturday (picking out a pumpkin and carving it), but it was a beautiful day. (g)

J.L. Campbell said...

Man you've had a run of bad luck, but you do manage to make it sound funny. I'd have had a meltdown the the cockroach incident. Can't tell you how I hate 'em. Hope things have turned around significantly.

Anthology Authors said...

I have, Joy. And now my Gmail is screwed up. Yay! I can't tell you how excited that makes me. (g)