Thursday, 20 January 2011

Vanishing Stuff & Not My Stuff!

When I wander through my house and see the amount of stuff that’s mixed in with my stuff, or find my stuff moved to parts of the house where it should not be, I get a li’l hot under the collar.

What is it with kids who think if it belongs to Mom then it’s fair game? And why do kids believe that your designated “mom” areas are they’re areas to store their stuff?

We have a five-bedroom home. There’s plenty of freaking room for their stuff!

I walked into my upstairs office this morning and took a gander at all the shit on the floor that was NOT mine.

Baby walker

NASCAR Storybook

Musical keyboard

A pair of jeans

A teether

A bouncy seat

The toy gizmo that hangs over the bouncy seat

A folder full of graded papers.

Oh, but it doesn’t stop there. My desktop has someone else’s crap all over it too.

Used tissues (eew!)

A baby monitor

A notebook

Dry erase pen from the refrigerator

One Silly Band in the shape of a castle

And what irks me to no end is that I have stuff that I use for my writing and everyone else thinks it’s there for their use too.


If I buy a pack of nice pens, they’ll vanish faster than a chocolate fudge cake at a Weight Watchers convention. It never fails!

I just opened a pack of Sticky Notes designed for editing and for marking places in journals and notebooks. What do I find when I sit down at my desk? Notes scribbled on them by my youngest dau who thought she’d be cute.

I just purchased a pack of Sharpie Ultra Fine Markers to use for my notes and editing. One day I sat here and noticed half of them are gone and the pink one, although missing, has no cap on it. The cap is lying on my desktop!

Bought a four-pack of highlighters. Two have vanished.

I’m sorry, but messing with my stuff or putting stuff in my domain that is NOT mine pisses me off to no end!

So, I walk in my bedroom and there are baby clothes on the floor. I found Christmas ribbon that was never put away (belongs in the upstairs closet) when someone wrapped gifts in my room.

If I want to find something, all I have to do is go to one of my kids’ rooms and ask them what they did with such and such. It usually materializes out of their stuff. But it’s not their stuff. It’s my stuff!

And do I scream and bitch at them about this stuff issue? HELL YEAH!

But it does no good. What the heck do I have to do to get others to respect my belongings, my room and my office???

Ask me to borrow something, but don’t just take it and not return it. I don’t go into my daughters’ make-up cases and help myself nor do I take one of my son’s Hot Wheels so I can play with it while I wait at the doctor’s office.

If I could hotwire my desk, books and belongings, I would. Touch it and ZAP! Then again if I did that, it would sound like I had a bug zapper upstairs!

The only thing they do not bother is my new laptop. It is the Holy Grail. Touch it and there will be body parts all over the house. Period.

Surely I’m not the only parent who has this problem with stuff?


Hales said...

OMG we must be related!

I go through this all the time. George tries to buffer. I buy myself snacks and light lunches for me and I never get to eat them. From clothes to shoes, purses and hair supplies, no wait those fem things too. No one tells me they've run out they raid mine then there is nothing.

Same issue with pens and papers, not so much clutter because we make them clean before bed so the house remains clutter free for the most part.

I buy myself nice creamer and coffee from an organic barista and my son will raid it. They have foldgers even flavored if they want but they have to use mine.

No one knocks on my bedroom door they just walk in to get cough meds or to use my shower and leave their crap in it when they have a huge bathroom three times the size of mine.

Bug zapper sounds good to me.

I think what bothers me the most is that I don't work outside of home. I'm lucky not to have to (although the market here sucks and I've been looking) Every penny I have either goes toward them or the house. I rarely buy myself anything. Matter of fact the Avenged tickets are the first thing I've bought myself for the last year.

So why can't I have my little things without pissing and moaning if I say no. The answer is they are spoiled and ungrateful and we are working on this generation wide issue of self entitlement.

Faith said...

Holy crap! I have to agree with you, Hales! Same here through and through!

And knocking before they enter? If I had a dollar for every time someone just walks in my office when I'm working I could retire! Even if the door is shut!

Same with snacks and such too!

trinity said...

Ha I got one better for you! How about when you decided to take a nice hot bath just to relax. Do your kids just walk right in? Mine do! Or do they sit at the end of the stairs and yell for you? Mine do.
Or how about everyone in the house is sick, but can mom get sick no! Mom go do this, mom go do that? Oh forget about buying pencils, my daughter is a pencil collector and my son goes around cutting off the erasers off all of the pencils. I go and grab a pencil there is no eraser! UGGG!

Jaime Samms said...

I have broken them of the habit of putting their stuff in my space. Thank GOD!! And they're pretty good at asking to borrow things. (returning it to it's 'away place' is another issue altogether)

What I get is that perennial favorite: "Mom, where's my..." How the bloody hell should I know? It's your stuff, you keep track of it, just like I keep track of my stuff and I know where my stuff is when I need it.

Don't even get me started on the walking in without knocking. I can't even go to the frickin' bathroom in peace. I mean really. If you barge in when I'm sitting on the pisser and tell me your hungry, don't go looking all hurt when I tell you to GO. AWAY.


Bianca Sommerland said...

I'm still laughing, and not because it's funny--though it kinda is--but because it's incredible how much that sounds like my house.

My daughters tend to sneak my pencils (which I prefer to use for outlining and brainstorming) and literally eat them. I can't work with chewed up pencils! And my nice stainless steel sharpener has been replaced by a little plastic one.

I'm so glad I found this post! My situation is not unique. Nice to know ;)

Jules said...

I hear what y'all are saying, I hear your frustration ringing through loud and clear, but try looking at it from a different perspective.

If I had a five bedroom house - I'd be overjoyed, messy or clean.

If I had my own office - I'd be thrilled; a space to call my own.

You have more than one bathroom? Congratulations!

I'm not complaining about my own lot in life, just commenting - as soon I would complain about my house, I should remember there are people who would love to live in it cause they got nowhere to go.

You can afford coffee from an organic barista? That's wonderful. Some of us are lucky to afford store brand, much less Folgers.

All I'm saying is, look at the sunshine in your life, not the shadows. There's always a better way to look at things - that glass is half-full, if you want it to be!

No offense meant to anyone. :)

Valerie Mann said...

Things that aren't sacred in my house: Scissors. Tape. Batteries. Oreos, the double stuf kind. And anything else that's important to me. Things I find all over the house in the wrong place? Eating utensils, cups, plates (because nobody remembers we have a dining room table to eat at). My kids know where my stuff is better than I do. And just because a door is closed, does not mean it's not perfectly okay to barge in without knocking. Yeah, seeing mom naked is enough to pull out the brain bleach, but hey, if that's what it takes for a little privacy...

Anthology Authors said...

My daughter is still young enough that she asks before she takes something. Perhaps if I had more, it would be different. However, her shit is all over the house. Every surface seems to have something that belongs to her. Of course, my crap is all over the place too. (sigh)

Anthology Authors said...

Oh, Trinity, I can one up you with that pencil thing. My daughter, who is six, tries to claim pencils that I've since before her birth. "That's mine," she says. Um, no, that pencil has been sitting in my car since before you were even though of. Paws off my pencils! Oh, and she's also trying to take some of my Christmas ornaments. I tell her that when I die, they are hers, but until that time, they belong to me.

Tess MacKall said...

I don't buy pens anymore. I write with crayons. Or eyeliner.

Jaime Samms said...

OMG, the thing about your daughter's stuff being all over the house...My husband once complained that he felt like he was living in our daughter's bedroom. She's what we affectionatly refer to as a 'shedder'. She drops stuff wherever, so we find hair nets on top of the tv, ballet slippers on the kitchen counter, sketch book on top of the coffee maker, I found her Wii remote in the pantry the other day. And the constant: "well, I didn't leave it there." Yes. Because we all root through your stuff and leave it in odd places so we can later accuse you of the old drop and run.

Sarah Masters said...

nor do I take one of my son’s Hot Wheels so I can play with it while I wait at the doctor’s office.



Anonymous said...

Faith, you sound just like my mom when we were kids. =)

But I can tell you, you don't have to have kids for your stuff to vanish. When I was in my very early twenties and working to save money to move out on my own, everyone would go into my room and take my stuff. My pens, notebooks, art supplies, cassette tapes (that tells you how old I am), you name it. I'd come home from work and want to listen to music, write, draw, or even just brush my damn hair. But I couldn't because even my stupid hair brush wasn't safe.

I'm so glad I was able to move.

Toni V.S. said...

I suppose I'm a Mean Mama. I set up a rule a long time ago: "This is mine. Hands off!" That goes especially for snacks. It works both ways. My son has that rule, too. In fact, the kid enforces it so, he even does his own laundry. I never let him know how he's been manipulated.

Faith said...

Trinity, oh yes, yes, yes! Drives me crazy.

Jaime, I get that "where is...?" question the most from my youngest dau. She's incapable of putting anything away unless you tell her ten times first.

Chew pencils are sacrilege, Bianca, lol. I am so with you on that! And I have the same problem with my pencil sharpener too. My youngest dau is the one who cabbages it all the time. I bought one made specifically for my Prismacolor pencils, and warned her that if it vanished from my supply cabinet that I would take her room apart piece by piece until I found it and then SHE could clean it up after i was done.

Jules, my home is a farmhouse. Only one bathroom, tho. I count my blessings every day, but it would be so nice if my family would respect my belongings, office and bdrm at least once in a while. I believe that if they expect me to respect their things, then they should do the same for mine.

When it comes to snacks, Valerie, I have to hide my goodies. I don't mind sharing one bit, but what irks me is the constant nagging for more until they've eaten it all or when they find it and I never got one single cookie, chip, etc. The other day I got into my panties drawer w here I had some Andies chocolate stashed and I found candy wrappers mixed up in my undies! GRRR!

Marci, the pencil thing is Ivory all over, and Jaime, Ivory does the same thing with her stuff too! It. Is. EVERYWHERE!

LOLOL @ Sarah cracking up over my Hot Wheels comment!

Anthology Authors said...

Oh my God, Jaime, we have the same child. (g) She will step inside the house and out of her shoes, leaving them in the middle of the floor. I'll remind her to pick them up and put them away. She'll look at me and say, "But I didn't put them there." Really? Really? Because they weren't on your feet a few seconds ago and some gnome has been following you until he got the chance to sneak them off your feet and leave them in the middle of the floor? Or better yet: "Put your shoes on, honey."

"But I don't know where they are."

"They're where you left them."

"I didn't leave them anywhere, Mommy. I put them right here." She points at the floor in her room. Or what would be the floor if we could see.

"So, that's why they are under the dining room table?"

"Oh, how did they get there?"

Gee... I wonder... (g)

Faith said...

Hi Casey! Oh, yeah on the hairbrush but in my case it's my big-tooth combs because I have waist-length hair. I finally bought kits for my girls that came with a brush, comb, mirror, etc. And my two fave combs STILL disappear!

Toni, I don't know what it is with my kids, but no matter how much I enforce the rules about this sort of thing, the more they ignore it. It infuriates me! The only thing they keep their mitts off of is my laptop and that pencil sharpener I bought for my Prismacolor pencils.

Janice said...

I feel for you, Faith.

I only have the one daughter so my stuff is safe. And thankfully, she'll ask before taking something.


Gabrielle Lee said...

Love the post! I have two boys and even though I share I still have to hide my own stash of snacks as well. They also seem to think that everything I buy is for there use.I never get to have anything that is for my own private use. Whether it be pencils,sticky notes or even a hairbrush. We have half a dozen brushes but which one do they have to use? Let alone my room seems to be a dumping ground for action figures to dirty clothes you can find it all.

Fiona McGier said...

Any food I want to eat myself, I put a sign on it: Mom's food. Touch and I'll break your fingers. Love Mom.
Sometimes it works...sometimes they take their chances. Scotch tape? I figured out years ago that all 4 of mine must eat it, because that's how fast it always disappears. Batteries? My daughter is the culprit who surreptitiously removes the good ones from the TV remote or someone else's mouse, then when you go to use something, it's dead. No batteries. Or even worse, she just switches them, so you think yours were dead! ARGH! I love all of my kids to pieces, but sometimes I warn them: I gave you life, I can take it away! Keep your paws offa my stuff!

Faith said...

Janice, maybe you can borrow my girls for a coupla days and have your dau teach them to ask before taking/using. The oldest is good about asking most of the time, but she's horrible about leaving her stuff mixed in my stuff or in mom areas like my office.

Luckily, my oldest son is out of the house now, Gabrielle, but when he did live with us food was fair game to him. It didn't matter what he had to do to get it, if he was hungry or munchy he'd eat it.

Tape disappears at your house too, Fiona? Same here!

Janice said...

Hi Faith,

Sure anytime. :D


Melissa Bradley said...

A shedder, I love that term. I always say my great-grandma's expression for that... "Bunch of horses. They shit where they're hitched."

It's so nice to know others have the same issues with stuff.