Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Things that really should be four-letter words

Some things in life really should be four-letter words comprised mainly of consonants. That way, when I say them (internally or orally), they come out exactly how I feel about them. (grin) You would think that for someone who rants once a month, this would be easy. Oddly enough, at first, it was hard to pick them, but after a few came to mind, they rolled fast and furious. My inner bitch didn't fail me. (grin)

  1. Nylons--these were the first torture devices that came to mind. I can't remember the last time I wore nylons. That's a good thing, because I'm sure I'd be spouting a lot of four-letter words if I still had to wear them. (g) And when they run, I'd just yell, "Nyln! Nyln! Nyln!" and run away. (Forgive me for the bad pun. I think I'm a bit sleep-deprived.)
  2. Cockroaches--there are some people who like them (entomologist). These disgusting bugs have a purpose in the ecosystem...so they say. The only thing I've found them to be useful for is seeing how many four-letter words I can say in sequence if I encounter one. They should be known as crks or just, "Ahhh!"
  3. Cleaning--some of you may love to clean, but I'm not a fan. I do it because it has to be done. However, while doing it, I'm thinking of everything else, anything else, that I could be doing. (g) If I had my druthers, I'd never have to say anything associated with this word. (g)
  4. Stupid people--I already have words for them already. None of them are four-letter, but they do have the same effect. (grin) Matter of fact, I was rear-ended the other day at an all-way stop. Fortunately, he hit me going only a couple miles an hour. No car damage, no body damage. Lucky, but how do you hit someone while in a line like that? Only one answer: stupid. Too bad Darwin was sleeping. (Gah, I'm so evil sometimes!)
  5. High heels--some of you love them, but me? I don't. I wear them rarely. Combine heels with nylons, and you have my own private hell. LOL A four-letter word? You bet.
  6. Spam--Wait! That is already a four-letter word. Well-deserved too. (g)
  7. Junk mail--My house is under siege from junk mail. I spend way too much time getting rid of this excess of unwanted paper. All those trees cut down for paper I don't want. Wouldn't it be nice if we could take that junk mail and just dump it on the companies who send it to us? In particular, the CEO's front yard. Oooo... We could TP their lawns with the shredded remains and turn the sprinklers on. (g) Perhaps it would take them as long to clean that up as it has me my house. (Mwahahahahaha)
  8. Cellulite--It's ironic that this word, which conjures up visions of rippling flesh (and not the good kind), contains "lite." Perhaps you can help me come up with a word appropriate for this. I'd like to say I've learned to live with it, but, honestly, I don't have a lot of choice, unless I'm willing to give up chocolate. Hm... yeah, no.

I know I had more, but a very busy, tiring, fun weekend left my brain all mushy. I need your help to come up with a few more things that really should be four-letter words.

22 comments:

Faith said...

What about Spam the food product? Food? Ugh. I don't think so!

LOL!

I have a lot of such words I could list, but I'll be a good girl.

Anthology Authors said...

That's no fun, Faith. (g) and, yes, Spam the food product is definitely a four-letter word too. (g)

Liz said...

I have another one:
lazy reviewers.
oh and how about:
macro breweries (sorry, on a rant today)
and finally:
writers' block!
cheers and thanks for the great post as usual.
Liz

Faith said...

Public schools.

Cyber gremlins.

Politics.

Government.

Gah...I could go on and on listing words that should be labeled as 4-letter dirties.

Anthology Authors said...

Oh, Liz, lazy reviewers. (shaking head) I've had a few that have written reviews for what seemed like completely different books. Wrong heroine, wrong hero, even wrong plot.

As for macro breweries, I don't drink, not even beer, but I've heard tales. (g)

Writer's block should be a four-letter word. (g) I know that when I get it, the air turns blue. (g)

Thanks for coming by, and I'm glad you enjoyed my post. :)

Anthology Authors said...

Hahahaha, Faith, I thought of a few of those, but decided to bite my tongue. (g) we are of like mind. LOL

Stephanie said...

LOL! Great post!!!! Been a long time since I wore nylons, but I do wear tights two days out of the year for dance recital. They're good after I put them on the first time, but then after i go to the bathroom...I can never get them back in quite right. Combine that with a layer or two of spandex or whatever our costume fabric is that year! :)

Fiona McGier said...

Me? I hate make-up so much that I don't even own any. I figure that I live INSIDE of my face and don't have to look at it, and if you don't like it, then look away. Problem solved.
So I'd use a 4-letter word to describe a product whose sole function is to sell more consumable product by playing on the insecurities of females that they are not attractive to men without it, when most men don't care what we wear or how we look, as long as they can have sex with us!

Anthology Authors said...

Tights? Hm... those could definitely be a four-letter word, Stephanie. (g)

Ray said...

Prty for political party or p**p for politicians. Virginia is one of the states that has political ads every year. Odd years are for state and local races. States complain about budgets. How is it cost cutting to have elections every year. The only break is from November to January. Of course the presidential politicking is non stop four years at a time.

Anthology Authors said...

You know, Fiona, I don't wear a lot of make-up often. I'm with you about the make-up. I don't wear it because people will either like me for who I am or they won't. Make-up won't change that. LOL

I kind of feel that way about padded bras. I suppose if it gives you confidence, but I'm small-chested. I feel like it's false advertising. (g)

And, yes, men just want a place to put it. (g)

Anthology Authors said...

Ray,

Politics is a different beast. Very few of us like politicians. Poli-ticks, or many blood sucking parasites. (g)

Marci

Cassie Exline said...

Long lines and airheads at the register.

Anthology Authors said...

Ooo... Cassie, what about people who crowd? I hate it when people crowd!

Patricia said...

How about "smartphone"? I mean, I swear most of the people I see using them are either driving (trying to drive, I should say) or trying to walk, neither succeeding at said endeavor. AACK!

Jaime Samms said...

technology is my big one. computers. software. ipad is already a four letter word and kinda like f*** for me. Not just a swear word, but also a good time and (in my book, anyway) a necessary part of a good life.

Jim Greer said...

Check books at the grocery store. After an hour of shopping, standing in line for 15 minutes and then watching the checkout kid scan each and every iten - THEN you take out the check book and write THE NAME OF THE STORE on it? Really? Seriously?

MAGGI ANDERSEN said...

Tele-marketing here in Australia. People who ring you up from India right in the middle of dinner to sell you something you don't need.

Anthology Authors said...

Oh, Patricia, that gets me too. I am sure the man who rear-ended me the other day was probably texting. Are we so pathetic that we can't stand a few moments with ourselves?

Anthology Authors said...

So true, Jaime. Nothing like technology to either make you happy or drive you completely insane. (g)

Anthology Authors said...

Ah, Jim, that does drive me nuts too. You have to wonder if they know where they are. Or maybe they spent the entire time on their smart phone texting their friends that they didn't get started until it now made everyone else have to wait on them.

Anthology Authors said...

God, Maggi, I must receive at least one phone call from a construction company a day. How the f**k did they get our unlisted phone number? How many times do I have to say, "We are interested. Please don't call again?"