Monday, 26 September 2011

Shopping Cart Hit and Run

Where have all the nice people gone? Seriously, what the heck happened to the courteous, polite folks who say ‘excuse me’, ‘pardon moi’, ‘oh, I’m sorry’, and ‘let me get out of your way’?

Saturday I had to go to our local Walmart Super Center for groceries.

{whimper} Already having horrible flashbacks!

Anyway, it was packed in that store! I’m guessing many of the elderly received their SS checks because seniors were half of the crowd. People were racing through the parking lot, looking for someone to run over to get the nearest handicapped spots or next-to-the-door spaces. And don't even get me started on the twits who park wonky, taking up two parking places!

I took my 13-yr-old dau with me. She’s super about helping me gather all the things on the list, scratching them off, and reminding me about items I may’ve forgotten to write on said list. She took the cart from me and followed me throughout the store. We dodged people in the soup aisle, avoided collisions in the coffee-and-spices aisle, and managed to get through the front of the store where all the registers were packed. Why, after all that food shopping, was I going from one side of that huge store to the other? Simple really. Although I was finished with my grocery list, Walmart finds it necessary to put the freaking pet food on the opposite side of the darn building—a building, I might add, that’s the size of a warehouse!

People milled about like ants in an anthill kicked apart by a mean kid. I hate going out in public when it’s crowded like that because A) people are just plain rude, and B) my patience and temper are reeaalllyyy short. If someone is deliberately rude or mean my scathing sarcasm button gets pushed.

So with the dau pushing the buggy behind me, we started our trek across to the opposite side of the store. Dodge. Dodge. Scramble to the left. Jump to the right. Mutter ‘excuse me’ a hundred times only to be blatantly ignored—ignored by people who think it’s perfectly okay to stand in the middle of the aisles blocking traffic because they’re so important.

So once again I encounter another group in the middle of the walkway, people describing someone’s labor and delivery—in detail, I might add!—and I say, “Ahem, excuse us, please." They ignored us. [must not let them push button...must not let them push--damn.] "Ahem. EXCUSE ME!” [startled looks are thrown my way] Oh, lookie there. They moved!

The dau and I pop a wheelie to miss the kid throwing a fit next to a candy display. Ride the cart’s wheels to the left in an attempt to miss the chick who is incapable of walking and texting at the same time (heaven help her if someone gives her some bubble gum, too). Slam on the breaks for the dude who steps out in front of us from a big dolly of items to shelve. Squeal wheels to zigzag around the harried mother who has no idea how to discipline the four screaming brats who resemble ticked off Chimpanzees (look out! They're flinging poo!), and then...then...there’s a break in the crowd! We can get through! The sea of Walmart has parted!

Grab the cart and run like hell!

[insert sound of screeching tires and the aroma of burning rubber]

This very large woman does a burnout to get in front of us with her cart. I never knew anyone that large could move that fast. I halted so abruptly to keep from colliding with her my Sketcher Shape-Ups squealed on the tile. I threw my hand out to stop the dau from running into me with the buggy (still have a sore place on my calf muscle from the son ramming me with the cart in Dollar General). This woman didn’t say excuse me, screw you, or kiss my ass. Oh, no. She nearly creates a ten-buggy pile up to get in front of me so she can walk at a snail’s pace. No, I take that back. She walked so slowly a snail would’ve looked like it had left a trail of slime fire behind it as it blew past her freaking rude rump!

I think I wore the enamel off my teeth as I inched along behind her. I couldn’t get around her either. She went right down the middle of the aisle, an aisle that was jammed with one big display after another of shampoos, perfumes, new makeup displays, etc., so there was very li'l room for anyone to move, let alone if you were pushing a buggy. And it wasn’t just me who was annoyed as heck with her either. Other people waiting to cross the aisle to other corridors couldn’t get through until she passed. It was either step out and have the woman mow them over via steamroller from Slower Than Hell Town or wait fifteen minutes for her pass.

What’s worse is there was nothing wrong with her! She just didn't want to move any faster, period. She's pause and look at this item and that item... I could’ve understood it if she had been handicapped or had a cane, but to rudely rush in front of someone almost mowing over babies and old men with canes just to walk so slowly she almost stood still? It was like that jerk who waits to pull out into traffic, then when you get right up to them, he guns the gas and pulls out in front of you so that you have to stop on a dime. Then the jerk goes 5 mph (and I firmly believe these people are the pioneers of road rage).

I turned around to say something to my dau and she was gone.

Looking farther back, I saw her struggling to get our buggy unhooked from an old woman's electric shopping cart. She had rammed my dau with her cart! I kid you not! She smashed right into my dau, pushed our cart to the side, got our cart hooked on her electric buggy, and then nearly overturned our cart. I couldn't run to help her because Slower Than Hell Town was still in front of me, people choked the alternate routes around her, and there were shoppers behind me, waiting for movement like I was.

When my dau finally caught up to me, she couldn’t believe what happened. I had to laugh a li'l because she was so upset she sounded like a chicken trying to lay an egg. “Mom, she saw me and ran right into me on purpose to get through! She looked right at me and hit me with her cart! And she was an elderly lady! Aren’t elderly people supposed to be nice?”

Apparently, not when it’s SS week.


Liz said...

funny stuff as usual!

Faith said...

Morning, Liz! Thank you, LOL!

Bianca Swan said...

LOL. I have a not funny story. My car was hit by a shopping cart in a grocery store parking lot. That was a real downer because I hadn't owned it very long. And it did damage!

trinity said...

I had the experience this morning. But I went after I dropped the kids off at school figured it would be nice and quiet and it was. I was standing in the isle looking at the tomato paste, sauce and such deciding which cans to get for our chili this old lady comes around the corner with her cart and stops right in front of me where I am looking. So I wait, but she picks up one can then another until finally I say excuse me. She just looks at me does not say a word finally picks up two cans and moves slowly out of the way. I have always been taught to respect my elders, they are wise. Well I tell you what, between my crazy MIL and people in Wal-mart this old lady is ready to blow a gasket at one. Jeez!
I'm with you faith people are just rude now a days that is all there is to it.

Melissa Bradley said...

LMAO!! I howled through your very apt descriptions. My dad always said the masses are asses and that statement is never more true than when dealing with them at big box stores. It's like they leave their brains at home.

Faith said...

Bianca, I've had cards rammed into my vehicles over the years, too, and the paint scratches and dents can be nasty. I was a bagger and cart gatherer at Marsh Grocery when I first got out of high school. I actually had an old woman in a big land yacht bump a line of carts I was collecting. She didn't bump them once, but several times; it's a wonder she didn't scratch up the car's bumper. The reason? Because I had them in a parking spot near the store's front door. I sorta went off on her and she reported me to the manager. I looked him right in the eye and said "the customer might always be right but that's only in the damn store, not in the lot where she's trying to run me over!"

Hey Trin. I've always been taught the same about my elders, but there are many whom I've encountered who are even ruder than some of the punk kids.

LOL, hi Melissa! I'm so happy you got a belly laugh this morning! You should share the post with your hubby so he knows his viewpoint is correct on the masses, lolol.

Anthology Authors said...

We don't have a Wally World around here. Reading about your experience makes me glad. That's just a different class of people. (And the class has little to do with money.) We don't seem to have those issues that much at Trader Joe's. Now Target, that's a different story. Our Target is almost like Wally World. It's a one-stop shop where you can experience both the very polite and the incredibly rude.

J.M. Powers said...

Liz, I loved your post! Your sarcasm and wit brought refreshing and loud laughter to my husband and I as I read it out loud.
Yes, my dear, rude people stun me...but not into silence. I have that sarcasm button too. lol.
The other day, my special needs son was waiting in the grocery line with me. He asked the cashier what her name was. (he usually looks at the nametag and greets them..but she wasn't wearing hers) At first, I thought she didn't hear, but when he asked a second and third time, I knew she did. The look on my son's face broke my heart. He knew she was ignoring him--or worse--felt uncomfortable with his disabiltiy. I said,"Hey, buddy, her name is rude." He grinned and put out his hand and said, "Hello Rude!"
It was priceless.
The customer behind me cracked up. I loved it.But when I got bread was beneath the bag of ice I bought. It was worth it.

Faith said...

Thanks for the compliment on my blog, JM.

And I don't blame you one bit re that checker. That woman was beyond rude! And if that had happened to me, I'd've called the store and reported her behavior to the manager as well as told h/her about the bread!

Hi Marci! Yes, I've heard others say similar things about Target too.

trinity said...

J.M I would have called and complained about her big time. I've worked in a grocery store a number of times and the way prices are on groceries nope no way! Her little but would have been in serious trouble.

But glad you brought her down a peg.

Anonymous said...

Faith~ Funny post! Very accurate descriptions of rude people everywhere--young and old! I hate going to Walmart on payday! :)

JM~ "Hello rude!" your comment made me laugh out loud again...Priceless! :)


Stephy Smith said...

We get the flood of people if a cold front moves in. It's like someone called for the Indianapolis Five Hundred to meet at our grocery store. Once they are there it turns into a snail race until check out time.

Great post Faith! lol

Mary Corrales said...

Great post. It's like you were describing the stores where I live.

I remember once having my cart taken from Inside a Target store. Poof, gone. The bad part was that it was Christmas time, so I had to go back and re-gather the things I lost in my abducted cart.

Willa Edwards said...

I have the same problem. I hate rude people, and they seem to be in abundence at those walmart supercenters, so I just avoid them (walmarts and the people). Hope you have a better trip next time.

Shiela Stewart said...

OMG you sound like me. i HATE HATE HATE Shopping as is but when it's busy Lord help me. And why the hell do they put the pet supplies all the way across the damn store. Seriously!

Another thing that ticks me off is waiting in line behind someone who seems to have few items only to see her hubby or friend or kid rush in to add moer to the kart. And then....she sends the kid out again to get something else just as its her turn to pay. GRRRR!!!!

Faith said...

Jane payday is bad too, and Stephy, it sure seems that way, doesn't it? Drives me crazy. I hate shopping. I don't even like going shopping for clothes, and most of my book shopping is done online.

I've had my cart stolen, too, Willa. Oh how I rant when that happens.

Willa, I'm like you--I avoid it as much as possible.

Shiela, the ones that tick me off are the ones who cut in front of you when you have one item and they have a cart packed full of stuff. Or the cashiers who allow someone with a full cart to go through a Ten Items or Less Line!

Faith said...

Whoops, I meant Mary not Willa re the stolen cart reply.

Janice said...

Oh Faith, we have a Wal-mart here in town too.

Two days ago when we went to do some shopping, we were in for it.

Wal-mart is redoing the entire store and adding aisles to sell more food. Which is great but in the mean time--what a mess!

They shoved over some of the shelves to make more room. Some of the already narrow aisles are even more narrow now. My daughter, her BF and BFF refused to go down some of these aisles because of claustrophobia.

To tell you the truth is was getting to me too.

I thought we'd never finish, and we all just wanted to finish shopping so we could get out of there.


Robyn M Speed said...

Oh my God, Faith that is freakin hilarious!!!

Yes, NEVER shop on pension day. NEVER!!

Must admit, I kind of sashay up and down the aisles (a FAST sashay, I might add), and am very good at swinging hips and twisting torso this way and that to avoid the inevitable collisions with trolleys, bags, and elbows. AND I have had to stop so fast some times that I nearly fall forwards INTO the trolley!!

I expect good manners from people, because I was taught good manners, and if you ram a trolley/cart into my'll have to die.

Love it Faith. Love it. Love it. Love it!

Faith said...

Our local Walmart finished doing the same thing two or three years ago. We refused to go in it until they finished the remodeling.

Robyn, shopping is a nightmare. And Christmastime I try not to go out at all. It's worse than pension day!