Wednesday, 16 March 2011

Guest Blogger: Cassandra Carr
This is an age-old question. From the time romance novels became popular, women have been asking why their men can’t behave/look more like the heroes in their stories. I am here to offer a few reasons why:

Real men don’t just “have” great bodies. They have to spend a significant portion of their time exercising. And when they’re at the gym that long, they aren’t attending to our “needs”, whether that means a foot massage, a night of hot sex, or doing the dishes (hey, I don’t know about you but I fantasize about my man doing the dishes without being asked!).

Real men aren’t all brawny, virile beasts who make you feel like a small, delicate flower in comparison. Some are tall, some are short, some are thin, some are beefier. But do you want a perfect-looking guy? Personally, it would give me a complex. I’ll take my five foot six husband, thanks very much. I can’t wear high heels, but they pinch my feet anyway and I don’t have to crane my neck every time I want to gaze upon his hotness.

Real men don’t have unlimited supplies of testosterone. I mean really – what woman wants to put up a guy who’s  constantly up for sex? (Wait, don’t answer that…) And what about a guy who lasted all night? Craig Ferguson is on, people!

Real men don’t all have exciting careers as international spies and special forces soldiers. Truthfully, I wouldn’t want my man to have either occupation – neither is home very often, which leads me back to that whole “attending to my needs” thing. My hubby has a fairly regular nine-to-five job, which means he’s home at night. He entertains my daughter while I write and then keeps my bed warm at night. How could I ask for more?

Then there are the things that make real men better than romance heroes:

Real men aren’t fazed by the minutiae in life. They pick up the kids from day care, wipe the runny noses, fix the leaky toilet, and trim the bushes. They go to the grocery store, crawl through the bounce house, and change the sheets in the baby’s crib after she spits up. How many of us can actually picture the typical romance hero doing all of that?

So there you are, ladies. Real men aren’t like romance heroes, but when it comes down to it, do we really want them to be?

Excerpt from Talk To Me:

The elevator doors opened, and Drew hurried to unlock his apartment and punch his code into the security pad before continuing straight to his bedroom. He spun and picked Jamie up as she neared the door, and she let out a squeak of protest.
“What? I’m trying to be romantic. Efficient too.” He grinned at her when she struggled to get out of his grip. The way she fought against him both amused and aroused him. “Not so fast,” he warned her. “I’m not planning to let you get away until I’m good and finished with you.”
Jamie cocked an eyebrow. “Good and finished? Be still my heart! Such dreamy talk from a man like you! I had no idea.”
Drew laughed and dropped Jamie on the king-size bed with enough force to make her bounce, then climbed on top of her. Before she could protest again, he’d pressed his erection into her belly and taken her lips in another deep kiss. Jamie melted beneath him, snaking her hands around his neck while his found her hips, pulling her closer. “You need to get naked,” he declared, rolling off her.
“Just me? That’s hardly fair. If I’m getting naked, then this time, so are you.” Her beautiful, full lips pouted at him.
He stood up, and in seconds, his pants and boxer briefs landed in a heap on the floor. He pulled his shirt over his head and added it to the pile. “Your turn.”
Jamie rose up on her elbows and stared at him in disbelief. “How did you do that so fast? And may I add, very nice.” She smiled and waggled her eyebrows, giving him a quick once-over.
“When I want something, I don’t waste time. And I want you naked. Now.”
He reached over and started yanking her top over her head, but she batted his hands away.
“Hey -- stop that. You’re going to dislocate my shoulder with your beastlike strength.”
Drew laughed but allowed Jamie to gently pull her blouse over her head. He took it and tossed it on the chair near the window. Next she tugged her jeans off, leaving her in only her bra and panties, which Drew made short work of.
He groaned when she was fully nude. “God, you’re fucking gorgeous, you know that? And I’m gonna put my hands and my tongue and my mouth and my cock everywhere on and in your beautiful body, so you better be ready.”
Jamie shivered, and he covered her body with his, kissing her briefly before moving down her jawline, sucking and licking. This is gonna be good.
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Bio: Cassandra Carr lives in Western New York with her husband, Inspiration, and her daughter, Too Cute for Words. When not gleefully torturing characters Cassandra enjoys watching hockey and eating. For more information about Cassandra, check out her website at, follow her on Twitter at, or "like" her fan page at
Talk to Me, coming from Loose Id on March 22nd!
Uniform Behaviour, out now from Andrews UK!


Anthology Authors said...

You know, Cassandra, it's true. While away at EPICon, our fridge died. My husband called a repair to diagnose it and found out it was the thermostat. Rather than pay $240 for the guy to fix it, he ordered the part and replaced it himself for about $100. For some reason, this made me horny. HAHAHAHAHA Unfortunately for both of us, I was 3,000 miles away. Ah, well, next time. (g)

Miranda Baker said...

So, so true! My husband doesn't fix things, but he does the cooking and it gets him laid a lot. Yup, the man wielding the French knife won my eternal devotion!

Cassandra Carr said...

Anthology Authors: I actually give my hubs IOU's for stuff like that when I'm not around to "show my appreciation". So when he wants some attention, he calls in an IOU. Makes him pretty motivated to do stuff around the house...

Miranda Baker: Hubs only cooks when he comes home and sees me buried in my work in progress, and that's only because he knows that's the only way he'll eat. Oh, and he makes eggs on the weekend. ;-)

James L. Hatch said...

I liked this post, it's realistic. I wonder if unrealistic expectations cause problems in some relationships? Those where someone isn't a real jerk I mean. Seems like the knife cuts both ways too. I love my wife for who she is and for the fantastic partner she has been to get us where we are. We share everything, but we have different jobs. She cooks. I clean. She takes care of the bills. I fix whatever needs it. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Cassandra Carr said...

James Hatch: sounds like you're on the right track to marital happiness! Thanks for weighing in with a male perspective!

Lisa Alexander Griffin said...

I really enjoyed the post...and it does make me think?? But still, none of that would work for my husband. He thinks if he works all week, he doesn't have to lift a finger at home, even on weekends,unless he wants to. And then it's usually something to do with his shop and not house repairs, upkeep, cleaning or cooking. :(

So...I think I'll opt for somewhere in between the hero and a real live man. lol.

Cassandra Carr said...

Lisa Alexander Griffin: A friend of mine once suggested borrowing a "nanny cam" from someone and filming what goes on in a typical day at home for those spouses who think they're the only ones who "work all day". It might not change his mind about his responsibilities at home but it would surely be an eye-opener for him. And if he really doesn't want to help? Ask him if he'd prefer to pay for a cleaning service. His choice. I'm sorry he isn't more supportive - I'm sending a hunky romance hero over to rub your shoulders. *tapping one on the butt and pointing toward you*

Lisa Alexander Griffin said...

LOL...thank you hon. At least you did make me smile. :) I don't know if a nanny cam would work, but it is a thought. hmmm....

Oh, and I'm lovin the back rub. ;)

Ric Wasley said...

Well thank you Cassandra. I for one am relieved to read this because after my wife read my upcoming Civil War novel, “Candle in the Wind”, I was concerned that she might want to trade me in for one of those ‘uber’ romantic hero’s like my Confederate cavalier protagonist – Captain Clayton Danby. I mean I enjoyed creating him but as you so aptly point out, it’s tough for us “real guys” to compete with the ones we bring to life on our pages. But even though life rarely imitates art, I'm glad to see that reality is kinda’ cool too.

Ric Wasley – Author – Mystery Writers of America and the Cape Cod Writers Group

Ric Wasley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fiona McGier said...

That's why I write contemporary romance...I'm more able to write about realistic characters. But I still truly believe in HEA endings, because I'm happily married for close to 30 years, and I'd have married him after our first night together! It just took him a coupla years to realize we should live together/get married. So I guess I believe in love at know! ;-D

Brooklyn Ann said...

Love this post! The reason why I'm happy that I'm not married to a romance novel hero is that if some guy tried to boss me like that, I'd kick him!
...however, I think my husband looks like one...only without the excessive lumpy muscles. Okay, only when he shaves his scruffy face and takes off the damn hat he's so attached to.:)