Monday, 7 March 2011

Go Ahead...Eat My Leg

I’ve had a lot going on in my life lately. Nothing is good right now. But life goes on and you still have to pay the bills, right? Right.

But I am in NO mood to be screwed with either. I have what my phone company calls a “green line”. Basically, it just gives me Internet and that’s it. No actual land line (I use cell phones). It also hooks up to my satellite for TV in case I want to order a movie—which I never do. And this “green line” costs me forty bucks a month plus tax (that keeps changing from bill to bill) and some mysterious surcharge that I’ve never understood and no one can seem to explain to my satisfaction.

Anyway, a lot was going on this month. I was in a really bad place head wise (still am). And so I forgot to pay the bill until the day before the past due date. Forgot to pay my cell phone bill too. But I paid them both and thought everything was fine. Hell, I paid them last Monday.

So I’m sitting here this morning and my cell phone rings. Now how the phone company knows my cell phone number is beyond me. I sure as hell didn’t give it to them. But I hear this woman telling me this is a courtesy call. “A what?” I said.

She said, “This is a courtesy call to remind you that your bill is past due and the balance of $69.41 must be paid by 5 pm today or your service will be disconnected.”

Okay, people. I’m NO dummy. I said, “Where are you getting that figure? I just paid my bill in full last week and have the confirmation number to prove it. And it was only $48.00 and change. AND…why are you saying this is a courtesy call in one breath and threatening me in the next?”

Yeah, I tend to play with the minds of people I believe are just stupid enough to believe I am afraid of them. I continued, “There is absolutely NOTHING courteous about threatening someone, ma’am.”

Silence. She just didn’t know how to reply. After several empty seconds she says, “How do you plan to pay your bill?”

I said, “Fix the price first. And then we’ll talk payment.”

She says, “I’ll check the account, ma’am.” She does and comes back on after about three minutes and says, “There is a twenty dollar late payment fee.”

I said, “No. Remove that. I paid the day before the past due date so that doesn’t apply.” So she says, “But the payment is still pending.”

HUH? “Pending?” I said. “Yes, ma’am. It hasn’t posted to your account yet.”

So I said, “And whose fault is that? Not mine. I paid it. Cash went out of my wallet to that odd looking girl who never smiles at that little kiosk payment center in the grocery store in town.”

So, we go round and round and I end up with a supervisor. Bitch! But I’m a bigger bitch. Asked for her name and told her she’d be seeing herself on the six o’clock evening news if she did not take that twenty dollar charge off my bill. It was removed, but not without a lot of anger from me. Unnecessary anger at that. I mean, crap. I can send Sarah Masters who lives in Britain an email right now and she gets it less than a second later and these people are telling me that a payment I made a week ago is PENDING????

You’ve gotta watch out for the phone company. They will screw you for sure. Years ago when I was in the construction business, I had a big Yellow Page ad in the phone book. My phone bill was like six and seven hundred bucks for that business every single month. Lots of long distance and such. Anyway, one day I sat down and discovered where I had been double charged for my Yellow Page ad. Had BEEN double charged for almost two damn years. And instead of the phone company sending me a check for this overcharge? They credited my account. I didn’t have to pay a phone bill for well over a year they owed me so much money. But ain’t that something? They want cash and I couldn’t get cash from them.

Onto another PITA situation. My satellite bill has gone steadily up. It’s now sitting at a tad over seventy bucks a month. So I sat down, looked at the different programs and compared them. Did this on Saturday. I finally figured out that I was paying an extra fifteen bucks for all of these music and sports channels we don’t watch/listen to. So I called and asked for a different package. But oddly enough, my bill can’t be credited until next month. Again, I ask you, isn’t it funny you can send an email around the world in a nanosecond and can’t take a charge off a bill the same way?

Anyway, while I am on the phone with this satellite rep she asks if I’d like to get free HD for life. I said, “No such thing as free.” She said, “Oh yes, ma’am. This is totally free. HD will never cost you a penny.” I said, “Okay, sure. I’ll take it.”

Then she says, “Are you at the same address?” I said, “Yes, why?” She said, “So we can send the tech out to install your HD receiver.” I said, “Hold it. How much does the tech cost?” She said, “The tech service is $99.99 and the receiver is on special this month for $199.99.”

The kids rushed into the room. Why? Because they haven’t heard me laugh in a while. And it was the kind of laugh that makes you cry—know what I mean?

After I finally was able to speak again, I said, “So much for free HD!”

She said, “Ma’am the HD is free. And in another year or so, everyone is going to be charging for it. You really need to do this because everything is going HD.” I said, “Honey, I don’t care if everything goes 4-D and they do a remake of Jaws and that big damn fish swims out of the screen and eats my freaking leg I am NOT giving you $300.00!”

Guess you all know I don’t have free HD, don’t ya?

Just a day in the life of Tess. Bring it on!

27 comments:

WitchGiggles said...

Ah,Tess,aren't these people just wonderful????? Had a bill collector for 123.and change for something medical for the old man call me last week and say"ma'am up to now,he's always kept his account paid up to date" .... my reply "well,honey,come dig him up out of my yard and ask him how he wants to take are of this and if he cares it's going to screw his "good standing" with ya'll to hell or not"..... then he wants to know if I'm gonna pay it. Don't matter that I have no income coming in-all he wants is his part paid. Told him to send me a statement and we might talk.

I've had T-Mobile letting me pay his cell phone account,but since I'm not an "authorized user" I can't change the package or anything else;so I fixed them the only way I know how;went to Wally World,got their phone plan that uses the T-Mobile system and now pay half what I was paying for the same thing for 3 phones instead of just 2.....gotta love besting the beasties..... I know I do.

Tess MacKall said...

Besting the beasties. I love it. LOL

They try to get you coming and going for sure. When I was young, these people walked all over me. I didn't know how to deal with them. Makes me wonder how much money they make from people who haven't developed ATTITUDE yet. lol

But once you get the TUDE going on, that's it. No way can they out do us for sure.

I may have to check into the T Mobile plan at Wal Mart. My cell phone bill is looking a bit suspicious these days too. LOL

C. Zampa said...

What a hassle. But we all know it well. Good for you for sticking to your guns!

Faith said...

I went around and around with Direct TV not long ago because they kept charging us $50 for a tech visit that wasn't our fault. On our plan, if it's the satellite provider's screw up they don't charge us for the tech visit, but they did anyway. Turns out the tech lied about what the problem was and I sorta lost my temper with the phone rep. The amount was credited.

In May of 2010, when I knew we'd be moving, I called ATT to get DSL and phone service at our new home. They dicked me around for MONTHS over DSL and our phone and wanted such high prices I was in shock over the fees. I finally got pissed and had all lines disconnected and now use wireless net and cell phones. It costs me a li'l more on the month, but not having the headache of ATT and its supid-ass procedures and clueless phone reps is worth the extra $40 a month--plus I get better service and more amenities!

However, I am pissed about how our Direct TV bill has jumped from about $67 a month to $95. No answer for it. Our bill is the same as it has always been. Direct TV just like hiking the prices.

Miss Havana said...

So Judge Judy says to the prostitute, "When did you realize you had been raped?" The prostitute thinks for a moment and then says, "When the check bounced." Sounds like life, doesn't it.

Miss Havana

James L. Hatch said...

Hang in there Tess. I find it's best to let my wife handle things like this. She is far more persistent than me. I also note her eyes bug out almost imperceptibly when she begins a slow burn, kind of a warning for me but generally unnoticed by sales people until it's too late. She rarely raises her voice on the phone though, smooth as honey and almost always gets what she wants. I even heard her get $70 in overdraft paid for by one bank (the one that caused the problem) when another bank did the charging. That took over an hour, and happened when an electronic transfer went wrong. Bless her heart, she also checks every entry on every bill, including credit cards. Nothing slides by her. I'm lucky to have her.

Fiona McGier said...

Yeah, I just got slapped with a late charge for a store credit card because I paid the bill,but they didn't credit it on time...so since I didn't give them 7 days, I have to pay.

And another thing: When I get charged for something it's instantaneously taken out of my account...how come when I put money INTO my account, it takes days for it to be there?

We have never paid for cable, and to my chagrin I have learned that my kids figured out how to access TV I don't pay for through Hulu. Since I'm e-published, I've given them all the lecture about stealing and piracy repeatedly. But I STILL won't pay for cable, so we are at an impasse!

What I hate the most is when you call a company to complain about a charge, and the person on the "help" line is in another country so you can't understand what he/she is saying! Are there so many jobs going unfilled here that we have to export them to other countries? Oh wait, you get what you pay for, right? So if you pay someone in outer outerland $1 a day to answer your complaint calls, they never satisfy your customers' complaints, but you get to frustrate your customer for cheap!

Molly Daniels said...

Can you switch to AT&T? Our internet is only $19.99. And that's only for internet.

Yeah, had a similar incident with a credit card company. Due date fell on a Sunday; hubby paid via internet on Friday. BUT, the payment didn't post until Tuesday...and they wanted a $35 late fee. Hubby went round and round, even cancelled the card. And refused to pay that late charge. Finally they took it off.

Anthology Authors said...

You know, you must have read my mind as I've been thinking about this very thing for a few weeks now. As everyone watches the oil prices go up because of unrest in the Mideast, you know the oil companies and countries are laughing all the way to the bank. It's sick. it makes me want to go off the grid.

Janice said...

Hi Tess,

Sounds like when I paid my cricket bill. I had scheduled the check to be send from my bank two weeks before the due date. Plenty of time right? But by the end of the month my internet and my daughter's phone was shut down.

I was sick at the time so hubby went all the way to Fresno to talk to someone in person. The reason we were shut down? Lack of payment. He made another payment so I had my internet back and my daughter her phone. We went back two weeks later with a print of from the bank that stated the original check went out on time.

But at cricket's end still no check.

So we wondered if it gotten lost or stolen in the mail?

Finally the check cleared our bank a whole month after it was sent. Apparently cricket had it in their payment office the whole time and just didn't get around to cashing it.

Now I ask you, how the hell can a big company like cricket take a whole month to cash a check?

This month I'm sending a payment straight to their website via the internet. Let's see them ignore that payment!

Janice~

ev said...

I love to watch my husband deal with these things- he didn't retire from the Army as a Colonel and not learn a thing or two. He can cut them down to nothing without raising his voice. And he gets what he wants.

We once had credit card company trying to get money from us for an account that wasn't ours. The real people had the same name but had moved. By the time he was done with them, not only did they quit bugging us but we ended up with a very, very nice gift card to the store. Which I promptly spent. On me.

Sarah Masters said...

AAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA @ Jaws coming out of the screen.

I've had the same with my telephone and Sky TV. Damn sick of the lot of them.

Hmph.

:O)

Sarah Masters said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sarah Masters said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sarah Masters said...

OMG @ Blogger having an attack of the comment reposts.

:o)

Tess MacKall said...

Yeah, Carol. Sometimes you just have to bring out the guns and keep them blazin'. lol

Tess MacKall said...

That's what happened with me and Dish, Faith. The price kept going up and up. When I first got it, it was forty bucks. Within three months it had gone up ten bucks. And then another ten and another. Over seventy bucks now. Enough is enough. They give you a butt load of channels that are absolutely worthless and charge you for them. So I backed off on the package. I hate to say it but I lost AMC. And I lost LMN. But hell, it's worth it. I don't watch much TV anyway. The kids do, but those aren't the channels they watch. We lost thirty or so sports channels and umpteen million music channels. Hell, I'll turn on the radio. And if they UP this bill? I'm just getting rid of the damn thing altogether and building my own damn satellite. It'll be cheaper.

Tess MacKall said...

Judge Judy knows what questions to ask for sure. lol

Tess MacKall said...

I don't have a wife to handle things, James. lol It's me or nothing. I used to try and be nice and it didn't work. I tried hanging in there and just explaining and going over everything.

They only seem to understand my asshole side. So I make fun of them, let them know how stupid I think they are and just be as obnoxious as I can be. That's a language they understand.

Tess MacKall said...

Oh hell, Fiona. I've asked that same damn question a thousand times. Why is it that they charge me instantly, but my money isn't accessible instantly? I mean I get it if I deposit a check. But if I deposit cash? And if I do a transfer from one account to another it should be instant.

Users. That's what they are. They use our money for several days and it draws interest. Imagine all that money that just sits some place--in limbo from us--and somebody has got to be earning interest on it.

Last episode I had like that? I transferred money from my bank account to my Pay Pal acct. The bank deducted the amount INSTANTLY. But Pay Pal didn't show up the transfer for EIGHT DAMN DAYS. So where the eff was the money? You can't tell me someone wasn't earning interest on that somewhere. No way would the banking industry let money just spin out there in cyberspace without earning a damn dime on it.

Tess MacKall said...

I'll check into A T and T, Molly. But that forty bucks includes a phone line. Does A T and T? I just know it's a ridiculous amount of money. When I had the actual phone service, it cost me sixty five a month plus tax. But the DSL was only 29.99. I'm assuming it's the same thing plus the phone line. I can't have Internet without a phone line. Unless I go Cable---oh hell no. OR Hughes satellite---which is even more expensive at fifty bucks a month plus installation.

Tess MacKall said...

Oil companies and insurance companies. They most certainly rule the economy in the world, Marci. No doubt about it.

People really need to stop and think about just how oil prices and insurance companies affect our daily lives.

They are making all the money and we're dealing with it. Something needs to be done about it for sure. All these conspiracy theorists are labeled as crazy. Well, once you wrap your mind around the control that oil companies and insurance companies are able to wield? You get a better sense of what these so-called crazy people are talking about.

It's not as far-fetched as the spin doctors try to make you think.

Tess MacKall said...

Straight to the website doesn't always work either, Janice. Been there, done that. But if you do pay via Internet, make sure you print out the page and keep that confirmation number handy.

They are all jerks. And what kills me is that the employees become jerks just as if they OWNED the company.

Tess MacKall said...

Oh hell. That's what I need, Ev...a Colonel. lol A great big ole, kick ass Colonel. Yep, that would do the trick. LOL

Tess MacKall said...

Blogger has been screwy as hell for the past couple of days, Sarah. I'll delete the extra posts. lol

Anthology Authors said...

Well, I had to chew on two people today because nice just wasn't working. Actually, I stayed nice for about 10 seconds before I unloaded with both barrels. Luckily, I have unlimited ammo. (g) When I couldn't get what I want from the underling, I spoke to the supervisor. He asked me, "What will do want from us if we can't do this for you?"

Me: "Someone's balls."

"Ma'am, that's not an option."

"You wanna bet?"

Grin

(g)

Faith said...

I'll be blogging next week about schools again. Those who run public schools, but the government and many of the officials within the school, are just as damn arrogant and stupid as many of these big companies who rip us off.

Honestly, if people would band together on many issues, I think it would change things, but alas, most don't like upset or inconvenience even if it's only for a short time.