Saturday, 19 January 2013

Bathroom Invaders

by Deena Remiel

I think we can all agree that when all else fails, our bathroom is the last refuge for privacy and “alone” time. Whether we’ve renovated it to three times its original size in order to look like a spa or only picture it as such in our minds, it is our bathroom that holds the key to peace and solitude.
Besides the basics that our bathroom offers us, as multi-taskers, we utilize the space far beyond its potential. My bathroom, for example, turns into so many great spaces as I enter. It becomes a library, an office, an idea generator, and a fortress that no one shall enter without begrudging permission.
And so, it is with great distress that I must share some troubling news. My bathroom has been invaded! This invasion did not occur suddenly. No, the invaders took their time, over a period of days and weeks, leaving pieces of themselves on the toilet tank and the counter, even in the toothbrush holder. Mascara, eyeliner, hairbands and hairpins, a brush, perfume, a shirt or pair of shorts, and hairspray have at some point found their way into my safe haven. I believe these invaders to be professionals at usurping territory. So be on the lookout!
Of course, with today’s technology, I was able to determine just who the insurgents were that decided my bathroom was worthy of infiltration. Okay, so really, I yelled at the top of my lungs that if those previously mentioned items weren’t quickly removed I would throw them away. A flurry of footsteps down the stairs solidified their identity. I have four words to say at this point. God bless my daughters. They took their contraband and headed back to their own rooms, but like an insidious disease, those items crept right back in over the course of another week.
Why is it such a horrible thing to find their menagerie continuously in my bathroom?Let me explain. We have two full baths in the house, one upstairs for the girls and one downstairs in our master bedroom (has NO door). We also have a powder room. Since I am the first to wake in the morning, I claimed this tiny closet of a bathroom so I wouldn’t wake the hubby. Everyone is free to use it throughout the day, but there shouldn’t be anything left behind because everyone has their own bathroom. It’s such a tiny space that even one item left in it clutters the space.
Why, oh why then do the girls insist on cramming into this tiny box when a beautifully sized bathroom awaits them upstairs by their own bedrooms? I’ve yet to come up with a good answer. The only one that resonates in my brain is that they are bound and determined to take over the entire house. Well, I’ve decided to fight back! Boundaries, girls! I must protect my sacred space!
Here’s my plan… Okay, I don’t have one, yet. I need help! I am calling upon all you strong women out there who know what kind of angst and pain I’m going through. 

Help me create a foolproof plan to stave off any more attacks on my little hovel of a bathroom. What should I do? I’m not beyond groveling, so the top 3 ideas will get some swag from me.


Lucie said...

Make it look to be right out of a Bond movie...Purchase several laser lights, you know the kind that one would use to torment their felines. Rig them so they stay lit and arrange them down both sides of the door jam thus making it look as though if one were to step through all that is holy will come down on them and wreak a wrath of such proportions that they will from that point forward use their own space.

Deena said...

OMG! LOL! I love it. HAHAHA

Faith said...

I have two boys and two girls. One of each is now gone from the home, but the two remaining still do the same things.

The girl leaves her stuff everywhere and "borrows" my makeup, combs, etc.

The boy leaves every type of toy in the bathroom because he loves baths, and to him, after he scrubs and washes his hair, bath time is a time of play.

My suggestion for having a clean bathroom to yourself? Build another bathroom and keep it locked with the key around your neck, lmao.

Deena said...

Faith! I forgot about the "permanent borrowing" my girls do,too! *Smacks head* I like your idea. I need... an OUTHOUSE, to keep everybody... OUT! ROFL

Jaime Samms said...

I'm the last to offer suggestions. in fact, we have a single, very small bathroom in our house to share between four people. short of locking my self in, even a closed door is not proof against invasion. and even the locked door is not fail proof, as youngest has figured out how to pick the lock.

Deena said...

Oh, Jaime! I love it when the youngest slides stuff UNDER the door for me to see...