Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Hunting Shenanigans Part II

Uh-oh. Our regular guest author, Margie Church, is back. And her men are up to their hunting shenanigans again!---Faith

 I was here a few weeks ago to share a few tidbits about how the hunters in my family have turned into rednecks. And of course, that is precisely why I stay behind on these outings. If they took me along, I'm sure that my body would be found on some deserted gravel road. Buzzkill, killjoy – yeah, that would be me along with a huge ration of scaredy-cat. I've learned to cook what they bring home. I've also had to put up with conversations like these.

Me: "Hi, are you on your way home?"
DH: "Not quite."
Me: "Oh? Why not? It's a five-hour drive."
DH: "I had a little trouble with the DNR up here. Luckily they didn't take my truck or my grandpa's antique gun."
After that little conversation involving shooting from a gravel road and changes in road signage, DH became the President of what I called the "Offenders Club." I'm not sure anyone in the group has ever gotten a ticket as high as his.

 Then there was Christmas 2011. The bow hunters were at it again. "Come home by 5:00 for dinner," I tell them as they dash out the door. It's dark here by 4:00 and when the phone rang at 4:30, I had this feeling.
DH: "Send Zach out here, will you? I shot a deer and we can't find it."
Me: "Oh, no."  None of us likes the idea of a wounded animal left to die. "I'll send him."

And so I'm left alone on Christmas Eve with our dinner slowly drying out. Eventually, I caved in and ate alone, on a TV tray while watching the news. Around 8:00, the three of them came home without the deer. They were apologetic of course, but the evening was toast.
Me: "So what are you going to do now?"
DH gave me a sheepish look. "We'll go look for it tomorrow, okay?"
I checked the calendar. Tomorrow was Christmas day. And so, after mass and dinner, the three of them took off in search of the deer. The weather here last Christmas was unseasonably warm. Likely the deer meat was spoiled even if they found it. I watched a movie with my mom and took a nap while they continued the great search and came home empty handed. I have to say, DH felt bad about throwing a monkey wrench into the holiday, and even worse about wounding an animal.
He took another shot at a deer on New Year's Eve. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson and just said no hunting on holidays. But I didn't. And the deer went missing and so did they. Luckily they found the deer the next morning. Temperatures dropped enough not to worry about whether the meat was okay. They processed the deer in the garage and in the kitchen. I stayed out of sight until it was over.
This year, I have a different strategy. I cook dinner at the usual time. They can eat it or not before they leave. Come Christmas, I think I'll make soup and sandwiches. To go.

If you're a hunting widow or looking for a great story to heat up your chilly autumn night, check out Razor. This is the first book in a 3-book series that I'm writing with K.B. Cutter. This erotic romance has a fascinating twist and BDSM elements. It's not typical by any stretch of the imagination and it's scorching hot. Readers have raved about the story and we hope you'll love it too.

Blurb: Razor by Margie Church & K.B. Cutter
Amy and Bryce have a happy, strong marriage. So why would Amy suggest bringing her best friend, Raine, who also is a lifestyle Domme, into their relationship? To gain a little control in the bedroom.

Initially, Bryce thinks his wife's request is ridiculous, but he's committed to his marriage and wants her to be happy. His new relationship with Raine is exciting and confusing. He loves Amy deeply, and now feels an emotional connection to Raine, too. What has he gotten himself into?

As Bryce and Raine's relationship evolves, Amy discovers a new capacity to love and share in ways she never imagined. Raine brings out the kink in everyone. And more.

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Margie Church said...

Thanks for having me again, ladies! DH texted me last night - after dark of course - DEER DOWN. By the time he'd finished processing it, midnight was at hand. I'd gone to bed an hour earlier...he climbs into the sack and says I think I got a hernia lifting that thing. I am having a yard sale this weekend...all that damn hunting gear and fresh venison for dinner. LOL

Pommawolf Emeraldwolfeyes said...

Love the post Margie! *lol*
I love how you have come to the conclusion that trying to wrangle your DH into showing up for holidays meals is just not in the cards.*S* Some what similar to football season you think?
Fortunately mine mate doesn't hunt much anymore, and he came to the conclusion that there are more unique ways to spend his time during football season...*S*
Thank you for the chuckles, and for letting the rest of we hunting widows, that we are not alone in their pursuits...*lol*.
I haven't read your Razor yet, but look forward to it.
As for being strong in marriage to let someone is to explore new experiences I don't know about that. I think you have to be pretty strong in your relationship, and I although I'm sure about mine I think my self esteem would not allow it. As a woman allowing another woman into the experience would not be a good thing for I'm truthful to myself that a woman's self image in her partners eyes, and self confidence would be a major issue on every level. But that is my take on this subject. Where I love to read about it I am not one who would ever feel comfortable in doing it.
Thanks for the great post! It does give you something to think about.


Margie Church said...

Darcy - DH and I have a bit of give and take on this. Some days I'm unavailable in the writing cave. :-)

Razor is unlike any romance you've probably read. I think if readers can step back from their own feelings on the subject - just like falling in love with gay romances - they will come to appreciate this series too. ShowTime obviously has the same idea. I hope you'll read Razor soon.

Jaime Samms said...

I have an uncle who has gone moose hunting every fall with his buddies for probably a lot longer than I can remember. These days, it's amusing to note that the bunch of them go into the bush to the hunt camp nary a moose tag among them, and often, come home with rifles still in cases.

Margie Church said...

Jamie! I think my father-in-law does that too. He's the head cook...Cookie does not hunt. I love moose meat, BTW. Better than venison and beef but scarce here. Thanks for stopping.