Uh-oh. Our regular guest author, Margie Church, is back. And her men are up to their hunting shenanigans again!---Faith
I was here a few weeks ago to share a few tidbits about how the hunters in my family have turned into rednecks. And of course, that is precisely why I stay behind on these outings. If they took me along, I'm sure that my body would be found on some deserted gravel road. Buzzkill, killjoy – yeah, that would be me along with a huge ration of scaredy-cat. I've learned to cook what they bring home. I've also had to put up with conversations like these.
Me: "Hi, are you on your way home?"
DH: "Not quite."
Me: "Oh? Why not? It's a five-hour drive."
DH: "I had a little trouble with the DNR up here. Luckily they didn't take my truck or my grandpa's antique gun."
After that little conversation involving shooting from a gravel road and changes in road signage, DH became the President of what I called the "Offenders Club." I'm not sure anyone in the group has ever gotten a ticket as high as his.
Then there was Christmas 2011. The bow hunters were at it again. "Come home by for dinner," I tell them as they dash out the door. It's dark here by and when the phone rang at , I had this feeling.
DH: "Send Zach out here, will you? I shot a deer and we can't find it."
Me: "Oh, no." None of us likes the idea of a wounded animal left to die. "I'll send him."
And so I'm left alone on Christmas Eve with our dinner slowly drying out. Eventually, I caved in and ate alone, on a TV tray while watching the news. Around , the three of them came home without the deer. They were apologetic of course, but the evening was toast.
Me: "So what are you going to do now?"
DH gave me a sheepish look. "We'll go look for it tomorrow, okay?"
I checked the calendar. Tomorrow was Christmas day. And so, after mass and dinner, the three of them took off in search of the deer. The weather here last Christmas was unseasonably warm. Likely the deer meat was spoiled even if they found it. I watched a movie with my mom and took a nap while they continued the great search and came home empty handed. I have to say, DH felt bad about throwing a monkey wrench into the holiday, and even worse about wounding an animal.
He took another shot at a deer on New Year's Eve. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson and just said no hunting on holidays. But I didn't. And the deer went missing and so did they. Luckily they found the deer the next morning. Temperatures dropped enough not to worry about whether the meat was okay. They processed the deer in the garage and in the kitchen. I stayed out of sight until it was over.
This year, I have a different strategy. I cook dinner at the usual time. They can eat it or not before they leave. Come Christmas, I think I'll make soup and sandwiches. To go.
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Amy and Bryce have a happy, strong marriage. So why would Amy suggest bringing her best friend, Raine, who also is a lifestyle Domme, into their relationship? To gain a little control in the bedroom.
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