Thursday, 23 February 2012

Kids Do, and Say, the Darnedest Things

I am taking a break from ranting today. I’ve been running at rant for a while now and am exhausted from the wound up frustration, so I felt I needed a break. Instead, I have decided to share a few things Lily, and her friends, have said, and done, that crack me up. I am sure that all of you have been there. And, please, share yours, too.

So, here are a few of my favorite sayings/questions:

Lily: Only humans can marry each other because if a human married a horse, you’d get a centaur.

Friend 1: I don’t like pretending to be someone else. I only like to pretend to be animals.

Lily: I need water, and if I don’t get it now, I will die. (This is a frequent complaint if for some reason she forgets to bring water with her. She says the same thing about being hungry.)

Friend 2: Well, I’m a Girl Scout and have been for years in Israel. (She’s 7 and has lived in the US for, um, 6 years or so. She may have even been born here. grin)

Lily: How do men pee? (O.o Note to self: get facts of life book from library to help explain.)

Lily: I didn’t say I don’t like him. I just don’t want to play with him anymore. (g)

And some of my favorite things they play/do:

One day, we had five girls over here. Whoever said girls are quieter than boys doesn’t have girls. The girls were playing family. This sounds quiet and could potentially be quiet, but their family consisted of the mom and dad (one of the girls pretended to be the dad), a horse, a cat, and a dog. So, three of the girls were the animals. Lily was a cat. They paraded through the house (the girls who were animals crawled—thump, thump, thump) and either meowed, barked, or neighed as they went. Quiet? Um, not remotely. (g)

Band. Their idea of band does not resemble the definition of band. Often, they fight over who is going to be the leader. Once that is settled, they create their own songs and play them simultaneously. (AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

We were out shopping one day when Lily ripped one in public. People turned to look and chuckled when she nonchalantly said, “Pardon me.” She even says, “Pardon me” for the silent ones. She hasn’t yet learned that it’s best to just let those slide. (g)

Lily draws mermaids with seashell bikini tops covering their bosoms. Why do I find this funny? I don’t know. I just do. To me, it’s hilarious.

When we go to visit my mother, inevitably, she falls asleep in the car. She is so out of it that she tips over and the only thing holding her up is the seatbelt. We wake her once we are there. She will swear up and down that she was not asleep. (g)

There are many more, but, alas, I cannot think of any. Hopefully, you do.


Shaunna Wolf said...

My youngest son when he was about 6 or 7 asked why the girls bathroom didn't have urinals. I said well girls sit down to pee.


I told him that they didn't have a penis so it was a little hard to stand up to pee and not get it on the floor.

I can still see him standing there hands over crotch asking why they didn't have a penis--and the rapid questions about did the doctor make then that way, did it get cut off and so on.

This was a good laugh.

Anthology Authors said...

HAHAHAHA, Shaunna. That's hilarious!

Patricia said...

Well, Marci, with two kids, now 17 and 13, I probably should have a million stories but it's hard to remember them now. I, too, think it's darling that she puts sea shells over the chest of the mermaids. What a cute age.

Anthology Authors said...

It is a cute age, Patricia. You know, when we sit and eat dinner, Charlie and I often have to hide our smiles and chuckles with the cute things she says.

Victoria Roder said...

I'm the director of a childcare center and I laugh everyday! One boy said to me, "Mrs. Roder, I have really long poop."
I thought, poor guy is having a problem.
He responded, "My longest was 20 minutes at Grandma and Grandpa's."

Faith said...

I got a really good chuckle out of her centaur comment. Leave to kids to use such reasoning!

Anthology Authors said...

I bet you do, Victoria. Lily has called us into the bathroom before because her poop looks like something. She doesn't understand that we really don't want to see her poop. LOL

Yeah, Faith, I love that one, too. It was really hard not to laugh because she was so serious when she said it.

Molly Daniels said...

Ah youngest is also into bathroom humor (he'll be 8 next week)! He's decided that every time he goes #2, it's his job to spray Lysol (half a can, mind you!) in the bathroom and in the hall 'because my poo STINKS!'

Yeah, well, there's only so much vanilla Lysol I can stand when it drifts into the kitchen!