Friday, 17 February 2012

Be Wise & Bring a Cheese & Meat Platter

First, if you find typos in my post, I apologize but my day of quiet to work has been interrupted by two kids who, despite my lousy mood, seem to think ticking me off is great fun today.

So, this brings me to my rant. Translation: bitching session.

Why can't people leave me alone?

My phone rings like it should be in a doctor's office. Our driveway is often transformed into Ohio's pull-in OR turn-around zone. Between my one son who thinks I live only to serve him and landlords and hired hands who come and go as they please, not to mention all the traffic due to the new addition to the coalmine, I'm to the point of lying down in the lane to protest the interruptions like a treehugger straps himself to a tree destined for the ax.

Back to the phone. It rings at midnight. It rings at 1 AM. It rings at 7:30 in the morning--and whether it's a weekday or weekend matters naught.

The power company uses our driveway to access coal mine property, which sets the dog to barking her head off. And now there's a water-testing guy who bangs on our door when I least expect it to ask for water samples.

For. God's. Sake!!! Leave. Me. Alone!

I understand why people lose their tempers and do stupid things.

And if you add the latest stupid stunts--note, that it's plural!--my oldest son has done of late...allow me a moment of snarling. I'm so furious and upset I could go ten rounds or more with Godzilla and not knock him out just so I could beat on him a li'l longer. I swear, in the mood I'm in of late, Bigfoot would take one look at me and scream "Yipe! Yipe! Yipe!" as it ran back into the woods.

However, the traffic through our drive aside, why is it family cannot leave a mom alone? My hubby calls me "The Matriarch" and says I can "fix" anything.

I don't care! Leave me alone! I need a life--a life that's mine and not one caters to what everyone else wants. Don't call me and ask me to Google something for you when you have Internet access on your high-tech cell phone! Don't call me and ask if you should give the baby a dose of medicine when it has directions on the bottle! Don't wait until four hours before your friends are going to the movies to ask if you can go when you've known about it for two freaking weeks!

And never ever tell me I've overused a word in a manuscript when I can do a search and highlight and see the word was used only three times in an entire full-length book!

Oh yeah. PMS? Pa-shaw! That's nothing. Get on a mountain woman's last nerve and face the wrath of Hades and Mount Vesuvius combined!

By tonight I'll need a date with Jack. If any harried moms out there plan to join me, bring limes or get tossed into the volcano.

Oh, and a cheese and meat platter would be nice. I'm sick of cooking.


22 comments:

Valerie Mann said...

Well, I don't know about anybody else, but I'm scared of you now! LOL
Hang in there, Faith. Look at it this way, you will never feel lonely. Okay, sometimes lonely isn't a bad thing, but you know what I mean!

Anthology Authors said...

Hahaha

Oh, Faith, I was there a few days ago. I let Charlie know that I felt he was perfectly capable of toasting a bagel for himself. And I love it when he says to me as we listen to the kids argue in the other room: they need to be fed. Really? Well, why don't you pop some chicken nuggets in the oven, clean some carrots, and feed them. Or better yet, just give them some cat kibble. (g) Okay, the cat food wouldn't work, but truly? Am I the only one capable of even getting her a piece of toast? I've finally got him to toast himself a bagel and pour some orange juice. O.o

Faith said...

Well, for the *moment* it's quiet. One kids is playing Wii and the other is on FB. For a while I was ready to snap. Constant interruptions, constant questions, constant can I, can I, can I...? After I just hollered I was working, the dau asked if she could clean the dead leaves out of the houseplant. For crying out loud, they're dead leaves and you have to ask???

Kelley said...

Don't be scared, but I totally agree. I try hard not to play the "nobody respects the way writers work" card, but... My attempts are often interrupted as yours are, and I have a full-time job, on top of kids, writing, a sacred practice, and... what was I talking about?

You'll like this. Twice this week I mentioned to two different people that I need a break and I need a big change. Do you know what both said? "You should just write a book." I guess they don't know I already have.

Because, as you know, that's like winning the lottery.

Jaime Samms said...

OK. This morning hubs asked if I wanted soup. He *knows* my thing about breakfast foods. I said no thank you. Later I made my own toast and peanut butter while he and DD stood in the (literally, I'm not kidding) three foot square kitchen with me looking something up on MY IPAD!!!! I ate my toast, washed my plate and the collection of cups and bowls that had accumulated, and he says to me "You know, it's annoying when you have to come through here and make your own food after I've cooked for everyone." O.o because I what? did it myself? Washed my own dishes? Washed everyone else's dishes that were sitting around, too? Can I pleeease borrow your volcano?

Faith said...

Holy cow, Kelley! If that had happened to me this week, I would've eaten them for breakfast.

Jaime, my volcano has plenty of room! Wowzers! I can't believe he said that!

Jaime Samms said...

Another doozy, Faith:

Him: *standing beside my desk: "Are you working, or still basking in the praise of good reviews?"

Me: O.o "Not your praise, that's for sure!"

Him: "You know, that really hurts my feelings that you don't appreciate how much I value what you do." *walks off and locks himself in the bathroom*

Funny. I was unaware mocking was a legitimate way to show you value someone. I'm unsure at this point if he's good enough for the volcano.

Faith said...

Ah, I know that routine well. I go through conversations like that on a daily basis with my youngest dau, who swears she doesn't mean to be snide or sarcastic.

Penny's Tales said...

Faith....I could relate (years ago) when my kids were at home. Now that I'm retired and only have my husband annoy me, I am much calmer. The thing my kids used to say that put me over the edge was, "Mom are you on your period?"
But, they still live!

Great post!

Faith said...

I have two of four still at home.

Zee Monodee said...

Oh my goodness, Faith - this sounds like any day between Nov-Dec last year in my house, when the boys were on summer break. I swear there's nothing they can do without Mummy this and Mummy that about it first for like the longest of time in the most whiny voice they can conjure (they haven't broken into "male" voices yet!).

But the best is this one - hubby taking them to the side, and loudly (at least to me), telling them to 'beware' because it's "that time of the month where she's gonna blow her top off for no reason and bite your head off in the process." And then five minutes later, said hubby will ask for something that's right in front of him, but of course I am the one who has to point that out!

*oh, and I brought meat. Will grilled lamb with mint sauce do?*

Hang in there, and indulge in the Jack. :)

Faith said...

LOL, Zee I feel for you!

If you can cook the lamb so it doesn't taste strange and strong, then I'm all for it (had it once for Easter and that was the last time, lol).

I won't indulge too much. I don't like the bad side effects. ;-)

Jessica Subject said...

Oh, Faith, I've been there. Stay strong!

Lila Munro said...

Hi Faith! I can totally relate to the phone issue...mine also rings at all hours of all days and nights. Which is odd because my nest is empty. I've come to the point that if need be I turn the ringer off, and I always turn it off at night when I go to bed. As a sufferer of insomnia--currenlty undertaking treatment for that issue, it must be done. Now, that being said, my life is different from many other writers concerning this on many levels and I count myself lucky to be able to shut the phone off if need be. My children are grown and out, I don't have to feel guilty if I miss the "Mom, I sort of...blah, blah, and I need bail money" calls anymore, and my husband is deployed so I don't have to worry about his work calling for him to pick up one of his "kids" from jail. I'm also fortunate that I live on a government facility so if in the event of a true emergency, my family can call an MP and they can come to my door--problem solved. I wish everyone could deal with their phone issues so easily. Mines turned off as we speak. :) I used to boycott when my house was full btw...enough nights of PBJ and sooner or later the man of the house realizes his credit card is useful and finds the nearest Chili's. It also works when everyone realizes their underwear drawers are empty and everyone has a date that night. :) Good rant, Faith...and hang in there!

Faith said...

Hi Lila! It's nice to know I'm not the only one who can point toward the kitchen and say, "Go fix a blankety-blank sandwich!"

I do have to say I have a good hubby who helps me a lot, but since he works a lot of overtime, he can only run interference for me late evenings and the weekends.

As for the phone, we have a special situation with the oldest dau. She doesn't drive and is due any minute to have her second baby. Otherwise, my cell would be turned off.

Debbie Gould said...

DON'T lay down in the road, Faith. No one pays attention anymore and they'll run right over you. Then go storming through the house looking for you.

Great post, I think we've all been there and it never ends even when they're adults.

SJ Drum said...

Me: "Hey, husband, can you watch the kids for a little while so I can get some work done?"

Him: *loud sigh* "How long is a little while?"

Me: "I don't know. Like an hour, maybe two."

Him: *another sigh* I guess.

Fast forward 10 minutes: The toddler is yelling, baby is screaming, husband is sitting on the sofa yelling at both of them instead of getting up and fixing whatever the problem is. I have to leave the tiny room I call an office, go to the family. Tell husband the baby will stop crying if he just (insert anything common sense will tell you here) and to stop staring at whatever stupid show he wants to watch on TV and either play with his son or put on one of the kids cartoons. It's two freaking hours, tops. Come. On.

Janice Seagraves said...

At twenty years old, my daughter isn't much of a bother and will occasionally jump in an cook dinner. (But doing dishes is still an issue.)

However, my husband doesn't always like what she cooks and rather I cook dinner.

Me, I'll eat just about anything and be grateful that someone else did the cooking so I can get back to writing.

But I can sympathize with you over the noise issue. Tree trimmers were here in Monday at eight in the morning. I had been up till three in the morning on a writing jag. I had only three or maybe four hours sleep when the saws started.

Oy!

Faith said...

Heck, SJ, I couldn't even get my ex do to that!

Debbie, you're right. I'd just end up covered in mud anyway.

Hi Janice! I love living at this place. We'll be here 2 years now Memorial Day, but since cattle are pastured here, there is always someone running in and out. Last summer is was painters painting barn roofs. I never knew power sprayers made so much noise.

Robyn M Speed said...

LOVE this post!!

Last week I was in such pain with (I suspect) tendonitis in my left shoulder from practising Eskrima (Filipino stick fighting) too much, and I could barely drive the car (had to reach over to pull it into second gear). Because I was in so much pain my muscles were tense, hence the next I had sprained muscles down the left side of my back. ADD to that a stomach that decided to get upset about god-knows-what...I was not in my happy place.

What did husband do to help me? What did he do to recognise that I was in pain and felt sick? Nothing! Not a thing! Zip! Nada!

I could be DYING and he still would do nothing for me!

I am freakin invisible! That would be cool if it was a ninja talent I wanted to use on him...but sometimes I would just like to be appreciated, recognised, taken care of. I now realise that he will never take care of me. I am expected to be the strong one ALL THE TIME.

I guess I f**king AM superwoman...

Robyn M Speed said...

Can I also add this:

Good GOD, you ladies make me laugh!

THANK YOU!
THANK YOU!
THANK YOU!

Faith said...

Hi Robyn!

I feel for you, hon. My ex was that way too. I was nearly hospitalized with Strep 2 because he didn't want to come home. Had no one to take me to the dr or the ER and I was so sick I couldn't even get up to use the phone and call a squad.