Wednesday, 22 June 2011

Define Lazy

Now,don't get me wrong. I completely admit to having my lazy moments. I have been known, when sitting in bed with the laptop humming and the t.v. on, to call a kid from another room and demand a fresh cup of coffee. But I totally maintain that as a mother's, hell, a parent's prerogative. What else's are kids for if not for a little judicious slave labour? These are life skills they need to have. (Both how to make a cup of coffee and knowing when it's in their best interest to just do what's required.)

So I'm not exactly innocent of being lazy. I know how to do as little as I can possibly get away with when I want to. It's a skill every teen learns and few adults outgrow. There comes a point, though, when being lazy is elevated to an art form.

Take, for instance, the bathrooms in our building: self-flushing toilets, automatic soap dispensers, taps and towel dispensers, as well as hand dryers on a sensor. The automatic doors, you have to actually push the button to make it work. I mean, heaven forbid you should actually grip the handle and have to pull! Now, I will concede that some people prefer the sanitary, no germs involved aspect of auto-everything, but what I witnessed just today blows even my...well, I was too lazy to go looking for socks this morning, but if I had socks on, they would have been blown off, I assure you.

This woman walking out of the bathroom ahead of me actually stopped at the closed door, turned around, shuffled back past me and muttered to herself: "Ooops. I forgot to push the button." At which point I had already pulled the door open with my own god-given feat of strength and daring, and left the room.

I don't know. Maybe there is some secret society of higher life forms that don't use door handles. Maybe I missed a memo or office email explaining the new rules for exiting the rest rooms, and by not following these rules, I have eliminated myself from the promotion pool.

Wait. That would actually explain some things around here, come to think on it....

21 comments:

Lisa Alexander Griffin said...

LOL, Jaime! A parent's prerogative. I've done that too, and they do need to learn to make coffee.

But, to be in a bathroom with all those gadgets, I dunno. Think I'd be lost. Or worse...open the door with my hand. :)

Jaime Samms said...

I know, Lisa. just like i did, open the door using the...OMG...wait for it....handle!!!! Oh horrors! lol!

And yes, there can not be too much emphasis put on being ale to make a good cup of coffee.

Faith said...

HAHAHAHA @ what you said about kids and coffee. I do the same! I think, however, we all pass the torches. We grumbled when we were kids about having to get up and--GASP!--actually turn the dial to a different tv station. We muttered under our breath when Dad would say make me a sandwich or mom would tell us to go get her a glass of pop.

But now we do the same thing to our children, lmao! On the flip side, tho, it teaches kids to respect and obey their parents too.

I often worry what will happen when there's a magnetic pulse or some sort of disaster that kills anything electronic. We've come to rely too much on all the automatic things in our lives.

Toni V.S. said...

Bring a single parent and lone woman most of my life, I've learned to "do" for myself...heck, for the past year, I haven't had a dishwasher or a remote for my TV. My granddaughter was aghast that I actually had to get up and walk over to change channels or turn off the set!

Kate Richards said...

I'm sure you at least rushed to the automatic sanitary gel dispenser to free your hands of handle germs?

I always feel kind of weird in a totally automatic bathroom, have you ever been in one where the toilet is on the fritz and flushes unexpectedly? At a bad moment? Scary stuff!

Faith said...

LMAO @ Kate!

Cassie Exline said...

Slave labor works in my house because I still don't own a dishwasher and I control the remote muahahahah! Great post Jaime.

Shiela Stewart said...

Oh hell yeah, we as parents need to take advantage of the children we squeezed out after hours and hours of agonizing labour then dealt with when the vomit all over your beautiful dress you just bought for the date night with your hubby. Not to mention the hours you sat up with teething woes. I could go on and on. So hell yeah, they owe us. So what if we want to be lazy sometimes. LOL

Anthology Authors said...

In March on my way to EPICon, I walked into a bathroom at an airport. Everything was automated, except the door (no door to the hallway, instead a curvy entrance to prevent peepers from seeing in). And everything automated was broken. If I'd had my cell phone handy, I would have taken a picture because it was hilarious. So, on the counter, they had paper towels in baskets and bottles of liquid soap. The water might have still worked, but the signs were there.

My daughter has the corner on laziness sometimes. There have been mornings when her "legs won't work" and she collapses onto the ground because she's "too tired" to walk to school. Last night when she discovered I wasn't going to shower with her, she melted in a puddle in the hall. She was prone, face first, on the floor saying, "I'm too tired to move." This after she'd raced at top speed from one end of the house to the other. Suddenly, she can't move.

HAHAHAHAHA

We just ignored her. She eventually got up. (g)

If people are worried about touching handles, get some toilet paper and use that. (g) I've done it numerous times, especially after seeing someone leave without washing their hands. O.o

Liz said...

I prefer for a Big Strong Alpha Male to come and open my door for me. Forget the auto button. And I have skyped my teenagers from the office to bring me a beer. They do it too because I Am The Mom.
great post.
cheers
Liz

Janice said...

Bathroom door have the most germs. Didn't you see the special on TV?

Janice~

Jude Mason said...

Jamime,

Ya know, this reminds me of the good old remote control for TV's. I mean, that's really where this all started, isn't it? I can't count the times ours has gone missing over the years and rather than take three or four steps across the room (our old living room really was that small) and simply change stations, my husband and children would search the entire house to find the damn remote.

And, I totally agree with you on the use and abuse of kids. We had em for a reason, slave labor seems like a good one. LOL

Thanks for the chuckle!

Hugs

Jaime Samms said...

Faith, I try not to think about that magnetic puls too much! Too scary mto think how much I would be cut off from my cyber life! You're right about the aspect of teaching our kids respect. Just as long as I remember bot to abuse it.

Toni, I know, because my dad still has the tv in his basement, that we used to have to get up to change channels. I've just blocked out the memory. :)

LOL Kate. In fact, I have. It's kinda disconcerting. And no, I did not sanitize my hands after opening the door. I liven on the edge! Muahahahah! (although I do wonder if people think the automatic button is magic and doesn't carry germs the way the door handle most assuredly must...)

Cassie, there is a man in our house. I only get the remote when he's out, or sleeping. (and sometimes, not even then. Changing the channel wakes him up! Lol!)

Faith said...

Jaime, have you seen the pilot movie for Falling Skies on TNT? That's part of how the aliens took over our planet. A huge magnetic pulse.

Jaime Samms said...

Sheila, I'm sure there are also other reasons for having had them, but as coffee-fetchers, mine are superb.

Oh, Marci. That's so classic. "My legs don't work." Haha! My son can stretch any job out to fantastic lengths sometimes. it's amazing!

Liz! Skyped them! That's a new height. Way to go :D

There is nothing quite like the Great Remote Hunt, is there, Jude?

Lisa Alexander Griffin said...

But, you know, that automatic door opener has just as many germs. lol. There's no getting around it, except to have a sanitizer dispenser outside the bathroom, and then think of how many people touch that?!

Jaime Samms said...

No kidding, Lisa! And then there's the issue of the fact that that anti-bacterial hand sanitizer people are so fond of creates a whole other load of trouble creating super bugs that become immune to it. Don't even get me started....

Molly Daniels said...

OMG...that woman reminds me of the story of the women whose car remote quit, and they had to call a locksmith to get the door unlocked. The locksmith took the car keys, inserted it into the lock, opened the door, and charged them $50 for the service call! Have we gotten so dependent on things we forget how to MANUALLY use things?

Lisa Alexander Griffin said...

Ooops! LOL! But, you have a point. ;)

Lisa Alexander Griffin said...

And, gosh! Just read Molly's comment! ROFL!!!

Jaime Samms said...

Wow, Molly. that's something, isn't it? I almost wish I could find that hard to believe, but really? I can't say that I do. takes all kinds, I guess.