Thursday, 9 August 2012

Men vs. Women

Now, before anyone gets their dander up and thinks this is going to be a man bashing blog, you are wrong. This piece is about how men and women think differently, and how humorous this can be for us women. (grin) And as you read this, male audience, you will most likely agree with what I am saying.

I will start with a story from college.

It was my junior year in college, and I started taking some business courses. During one of my classes, I met a young man who is a friend to this day, although he wanted to be more than that at one point. (It was never going to happen.) He's married to a wonderful women with three children. But I digress. Every so often, I would wear this sheath dress. It wasn't fancy, it didn't cling to my frame, it was high-necked and sleeveless, and it hit just above my knees. To me, it was comfortable, cool, made of cotton/poly blend, easy to care for, but I actually felt kind of fat in it. (Only in my mind was I fat in college.)

One day, this friend, whom I will call Jay, told me, "You know, that dress drives all of the guys in class crazy."

I blinked because I was at a loss for words (imagine that, if you can--grin) and asked, "What?"

"Well," he blushed a bit (he was very fair), "you know," he cleared his throat, "easy access."

I laughed so hard I nearly fell off of the wall. It made sense, but, you know, perhaps I was naive and it never occurred to me that a simple, plain sheath dress would cause such twitterpation amongst my male classmates. I found it highly amusing.

Now, when I took business law, I sent that class into a tale spin because it was right after lunch when I swam. This was the only time the pool was available when I could use it. I either swam then or didn't swim. Not swimming was not an option. (I haven't changed much. LOL) The class was on the other side of the campus from the pool. To avoid being late during early fall when it was still hot, I would just tie my towel (very large) toga-style around myself and walk into class barefoot. The first time I did it, the entire class stopped talking and stared. (g) I got it. Here they were dressed in business suits and such, and in walks someone with wet hair, wet bathing suit (maillot, by the way), hairy legs, and a towel. What is she thinking? I'm thinking I don't really give a rat's ass about what I'm wearing, or my hairy legs. I'm here to learn, so get over it. LOL (Rebel much? g) The teacher never said a word, and, yes, I knew what it did to some of the guys in class. I enjoyed tormenting them. (Yes, I do have an evil bent. I can't help it when men are so easy to torment.) Not that I considered (or consider) myself a femme fatale, but I wasn't completely stupid. LOL

Fast forward a few years. I've graduated from school, done a bit of traveling, and am in a long distance relationship with someone I'd met in France. We are chatting on the phone, and he says, "You know, when we first met, I thought you were hitting on me."


Silence on the other end of the line.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I don't mean to hurt your feelings. I just find that funny." Honestly, I was not attracted to him when we first met. He was nice looking, but not my usual tall, athletic type at the time. His personality eventually won me over, but it took two to three weeks of traveling together before it did. (He had a car. What can I say? I'm not stupid. ;) )

"Well, I guess, but it didn't take me long to realize you were like that with everyone."

Yup. I'm friendly, men, so me talking to you and being nice does not mean I am hitting on you. And, now that I am married, even less so. If I do talk to strange men while in line at a grocery store or such, I've taken the habit of mentioning my husband and daughter so they don't get the wrong idea, although that doesn't always work with some men who think that because I've been nice to them I want to have sex with them. Um, no. I'm just passing the time. (g)

See, we think differently. Men think about sex; women think they are fat. Men think about sex; women think they are having an innocent conversation. Men think about sex; women are just being comfortable. There's nothing wrong with it, but I find it humorous. Perhaps I'm just easily entertained. (g)


Maggi Andersen said...

Aah the difference in the sexes. Makes the world go round doesn't it. Can women and men be friends without sex entering into it, if only in thought? I keep thinking of When Harry met Sally.

Anthology Authors said...

It sure does, Maggi. As for being friends, it's really hard. I think it's easier for women to do it than men, although nothing is really easy when it comes to interspecies, er, intersex relationships. (g)

Valerie Mann said...

I learned this in 7th grade. Never talk to guys you don't want to give the wrong impression to. Sad story - okay, don't read it if you don't like sad stories...but when I was a teenager, I went with my entire class on a March of Dimes Walk-a-thon. Remember those? Once you find your pace, you end up bonding with those around you who are walking at the same rate. I ended up walking and yukking it up with a guy named Bill and his little brother. We had a lot of fun, but Bill was a nerd and nobody I ever would have talked to ordinarily. Not that I was prom queen or anything, but in middle school, there is a pecking order. Anyway, the following day in class, he told me, "That was the best day of my life." I turned away and wouldn't speak to him again because I didn't want anyone to know we were friends. Five years later he was dead of an odd debilitating, wasting disease (his brother passed shortly afterward). I realized then, and I told my girls this - always be kind. Even if boys get the wrong impression. You can deal with that later.

And if you haven't seen the movie, Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man, I highly recommend it. You'll laugh and nod, because it's all true! Very fun movie, even my husband liked it!

Anthology Authors said...

I did have a similar thing happen to me, Valerie, although the boy didn't die. Instead, he ended up having a crush on me. I tried to be nice and let him down easy, but that blew up in my face. I still try to be kind.

That movie sounds like a lot of fun. I wanted to see it when it came out, but Charlie wasn't interested. LOL Perhaps now that it's out on DVD, he'll go for it. :)

Fiona McGier said...

See, this is why my husband and kids tell me I'm more like a man. I think about sex constantly. I always look at a man's hands, even when we are in line at the grocery store and not even talking, and wonder what he has to "offer". I see almost all relationships between men and women as one or both of them wanting sex, or at least thinking about wanting sex. And I've been happily-married for almost 30 years! I just can't help myself!

As for clothing, even when I was younger I wore whatever I wanted to and figured guys need to "man up" and learn that not every woman is available to them...but some of us might be if they asked really nicely! ;-D

These days, at my age, though I hated them when I was younger, I miss things like catcalls and whistles from construction workers. Fortunately my husband, bless him, still thinks I've got it going on!

Heather Fowler said...

Points for use of twitterpated! LOL

Poor men. Sometimes I feel sorry for them. Sometimes I appreciate their simplicity. Sometimes I want to whack them in the head with a newspaper. ;)

Anthology Authors said...

HAHAHAHAHA, Fiona. I have to admit there are times when I look at men and think the same thing, but I don't see many I do that with. (g)

I never got catcalls. Maybe it was the sweats I wore.

(grin), Heather. It just fit. (g)

Men are maddening even though they are simple. Perhaps they are maddening because they are so simple.

Faith said...

I've run into the same problem. I'm more at ease around men than I am women, but men always think I'm fair game because I'm so easy going and will joke around. I'm very careful about doing that now because I don't want the attention.

Anthology Authors said...

Depends on the people if I am comfortable around them. If I'm not, I keep my mouth shut. Imagine that! (g)