Thursday, 23 August 2012

Happy Endings

I know most of the time at Four Strong Women, we're all about the cranky rants and the funny observations about life. Normally, that's the perfect thing to get my mind off the less pleasant things in life. I hope my fellow Strong Women will indulge me today.

I wanted to mention a friend of mine. Patric Michael. He's been sick a long time with cancer, struggling through as best he could, and I got word last night his struggles finally came to an end.

I'm sad. One thing most people know about me is that I always hope for happy endings, and I told Patric I hoped for a happy ending for him. He told me then that hope is a good thing to have in life. In the mean time, he wasn't dead yet, and he was going to focus on the story in progress.

Then he went on and on about it until he completely broke my metaphors and had me giggling through my tears. He knew he was dying, and I knew he was dying. On that day, I mourned the eventual loss of someone who probably never realized the profound difference he made in my life by just being the man he was.

That day was nearly two years ago, and in the time between then and now, we shared so much, and none of it sad. All of it about life and living, writing and art and his truck, which I think he was secretly in love with. He was a good man. Funny and genuine, and kind and generous, and wise, though he would definitely deny that last one. It is a shame more of the world could not share in all he had to offer, but I know he had a lot of friends, and many, many people will miss him, myself included.

I made him the promise not to mourn his death, but to celebrate his life, and while that sounded a lot easier in theory than it may prove to be in practice, I will end with the thought that I am certain my life is richer, more real, and more honest than it ever would have been had I never met him.

So thank you, Patric, and may your star shine bright wherever you are now.


Faith said...

Yes, the world would be a much better place if it had more Patric's in it. I've lost a coupla such people myself.

Jaime Samms said...

I could not agree with you more, Faith.

Kris Jacen said...

We've got a wonderful blue star watching over us now, Jaime. Patric definitely touched more lives than he realized.

Valerie Mann said...

I think you fulfilled your promise to him very well. Instead of mourning his death the way he knew you might, you shared his life with the world. I wish everyone was honored this way!

C. Zampa said...

Hard, that promising not to mourn. We all did make that promise. Easier said than done, but I agree with you, and am so happy for the good memories he's left.

Thank you for sharing your heart.

Anthology Authors said...

Hm... I don't think it was fair of him to ask you not to mourn. That only makes him feel better. Mourning is a human thing. We need to do that to move on. And you can still celebrate a person's life while mourning their loss. I have done it too many times. :(

And this is a beautiful tribute, Jaime. You have managed to do both.


Moria said...

That was Patric and yes, I do think he was in love with his truck. He talked about it all the time and the improvements he wanted to make to it. He called it his second home.

A wonderful tribute to an amazing man.

Karenna Colcroft said...

Patric was a wonderful person, and this is a great tribute to him, Jaime. I was sitting here crying this morning thinking, "Patric would be so ticked right now that I'm crying about him..."

Jaime Samms said...

I believe we do, Kris. I really do.

Val, I think there is always more to be gained by remembering how a person lived their life than by remembering how they died. Its not always easy, but I do think it's worth the effort.

Me too, Carol. I think he left a bigger presence in the world than just his physical presence.

You know, Marci, I thought the same thing, once, but as I was writing this, I realized, I really am less sad than I thought I would be, and I think that is down to the fact I did mourn. On the day I had that conversation with him, I mourned knowing one day, I would send an email and it would never be answered. I let myself be sad for that eventuality, and now that it is here, I find I can look back on all the ones that were answered and know we had two years of sharing freely, knowing there was no point waiting until tomorrow. And that's the gift, (one of many) he's shared with me. I don't wait, now, when I think of someone, when I want to just touch base with them, I do. Because there is no point in waiting for things that might never come.

Oh, Moira! He shared pictures with me of the installations he put in there. I swear, he had the best outfitted pick-up ever.

Karenna, he might very well be, but at the same time, I think he'd understand.

Anthology Authors said...

That is certainly true, Jaime. There are no certainties in life but death and taxes. And while you feel you have done your mourning, don't be surprised if occasionally it sneaks up on you. Even after 19 years, I still cry once in a while about my sister's death. For the most part, I can smile about the memories, but there are times I wish she were here to share things with.

Then again, you may be different than me. And Janna's death was sudden. So, who's to say?

Jaime Samms said...

I totally believe you're right about that, Marci. Maybe because I am so very conscious about it all right now, I can focus on the good bits. Its when you're not looking that the unexpected rears up and the loss feels heavier.

Janice Seagraves said...

Every so often we are graced with a very special friend that makes inroads into our heart. And when they're gone we miss them terribly, but never forget part of Patric will always be with you.

Jaime Samms said...

That he will, Janice. :)