Friday, 23 March 2012

Embarrassing Moments

Please help us welcome Randi Alexander today.

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I want to thank ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­Four Strong Women for letting me guest blog today. I'm Randi Alexander and I write cowboy erotic romance. I'm published with The Wild Rose Press' Cowboy Kink line. My second Cowboy Kink, Her Cowboy Stud, was released today! Yee-haw!

I've got to talk about kids. Why are they so nosey? There is nowhere to hide anything that they cannot get into. I love them dearly, but it's just incredible to me that they are so curious.

When eight-year-old LittleGuy thought he was alone in the dining room, I watched him go through every drawer and every cabinet in my credenza. It took him nearly a half hour. What did he expect to find? Candy? Cash? A wooden chest filled with gold doubloons? It's a credenza. It's got tablecloths and gravy boats.

When he turned around and saw me sitting there, he said, "I'm going outside," and took off. No embarrassment, no guilt. Gotta love the obliviousness of youth.

The worst was when six-year-old Pink (her nickname because of her red hair) found my Barbies. I've been trying to write a ménage, and since I have no experience (writing or otherwise…) I bought a Barbie and two Kens to help me visualize the positions.

They were expensive! When you buy the ones that are highly bendable, they cost about twenty dollars each. And knowing how Pink treats her toys, I hide them when I'm not…um…posing them.

Last week, I was cooking supper, and Pink stomps into the kitchen, crosses her arms, and asks, "Why do you have brand new Barbie dolls under your bed?" This was accompanied by a serious glare.

For a moment, I felt guilty. Probably a leftover from my Roman Catholic upbringing. Then I thought, hey, those are my dollies!

I turned to her, crossed my arms, and with a raised eyebrow, retorted, "What were you doing under my bed?"

Her redhead-pale cheeks blushed, but to her credit, she didn't back down. She waved her hand as if to erase everything we'd just said, and rolled her eyes. "That doesn't matter," she said. "Just give me their clothes so I don't have to look at them nakies."

Oh holy crap. I'd forgotten the threesome was nakies. Buck nakies. A blush rose to my cheeks, and I mumbled something about them taking a bath because it was Saturday night, bla, bla, bla. I went to find where I'd hidden Barbie's bikini and blond Ken and brunette Ken's surfer duds.

Someday, I'm going find a big honking safe and have it installed in my bedroom closet just to so I can have a place to keep my toys. Until then, Barbie, Ken, and Ken will have to share space with the spare tire in my trunk.

Your turn! I'd love to hear your story of an embarrassing moment when kids, family, or friends found something you wish they hadn't.

Trace McGonagall’s quiet life on his Houston stud ranch is shaken up when gorgeous Macy Veralta arrives to claim an inheritance left to her in his uncle’s will. Trace sees her as just another gold digger, but he also can’t resist her curvy body. When she hints at being the perfect submissive to his Dom, he has to have her.

Macy wouldn’t have been three months late to claim her inheritance if she’d known Trace was sin in jeans. The cowboy’s dominant bearing and the smoldering glint in his eyes send shivers to her toes and stirs images of being bound in his bed and disciplined at his hand. But could Trace’s perfect seduction be part of his plan to reclaim her inheritance?

EXCERPT: Over 18 only please.

“I do sales, but mostly in the Midwest and Northeast. The company I work for has been talking about expanding into the South and West, but…” Macy trailed off, as if thinking.

Trace bet she was thinking the same thing. If she got down here to Texas occasionally, they could make it a regular thing. Even if she was here after his money, he couldn’t ignore the hot, sexy connection between them. Hell, he didn’t have to marry her. One sizzling night a month he could spend some of his bankroll on her.

They’d meet in a high-class Houston hotel. He’d pull her to him, hard and fast, and their kisses would be frantic as they ripped the clothes off each other. He’d tell her with desperation choking his voice, “I want you. Now.” He’d pick her up and press her back against the wall. He’d lift her legs and slide into her hot, wet pussy.

She’d claw his back as he pumped into her, deep and steady, making sure he rubbed her clit with enough finesse to send her over the edge with a scream. Their first rush of lust curbed, they’d fall onto the bed where he’d introduce her to some edgy sex play. Just the basics at first…

“Trace?” Her eyes held a sly gleam. “You seem to be the one who’s doing the staring now.”

To celebrate the release of Her Cowboy Stud, I'm giving away, to one lucky *commenter, an e-copy of my first erotic romance, Chase and Seduction. Just leave a comment today and we'll choose a winner tomorrow. *Commenter must be 18 years of age or older to win.

I'm also giving away a custom made messenger bag and a $50 gift certificate to Pureromance to one subscriber to my newsletter. For more details, and to sign up for this contest, please go to my website, And while you're there, you can read the first chapter of Her Cowboy Stud.

Good luck, and thank you!



Her Cowboy Stud available at The Wild Rose Press Wilder Roses


Faith said...

I've raised 9, but only 4 are truly mine. I've seen more kid antics than I care to remember, lol. And I hate it when they nib in the bdrm and then ask, "What's warming gel? You have a bottle on your nightstand." or "Why is the locked box in your room vibrating?"


Anthology Authors said...

I have one, and we haven't yet experienced one of those embarrassing moments. I can share others. For instance, walking through a grocery store and having said child fart like a trucker. She'll say in the sweetest voice possible, "Excuse me," and the adults chuckle, but it is a bit mortifying. (g)

Randi Alexander said...

Faith, that is so funny. I can just imagine the locked box shaking it's way across the floor!

Wow, 9 kids. That's amazing!

Randi Alexander said...

Just wait until your little one is older, Anthology Authors. The farting-and-excuse-me's are a huge thing for kids. Especially at the dinner table. Ugh!

PG said...

I was asked to make some chocolate lollipops for a party, penis pops. So while a batch of 20 were chilling on a plate in the fridge I went down the hall to answer a SOS from my youngest (age 3), passing my oldest (age 6) along the way. Moments later we pass each other again except now he has a lollipop stick in his mouth. "This is my dessert." he says. "Me too" shouts his younger echo. As I watched them leave the kitchen the only phrases running though my head were "They won't be scarred for life. They won't be scarred for life"

Anthology Authors said...

Oh, she's 7.5, Randi. So, yeah, she's doing that all the time. When her friends are around, they laugh, which only encourages her. (g) Eh, she's a kid. Some day, she will be less inclined.

HAHAHAHAHA, PG, that's hilarious! As little boys, you'd think they knew the shape. (g)


Randi Alexander said...

PG - I'm giggling. I can imagine the look on your face! What do you do - ignore it or grab them away?

Anthology Authors - so true! It seems girls grow out of public farting, but boys seem to enjoy it all their lives. (At least, my hubby does!)

Jaime Samms said...

I dont think I have any of those. Well. Except the one time when the girl was little and I left Christmas gift shopping and she wanted a Ken doll to go with her Barbie doll. Well, as usual, he waited until the last moment and couldn't find a Ken doll. So he boughtuld her a Bratz Boy. This disgusted her. You have to take his feet off to change his shoes, which she considered barbaric, and he was shorter than Barbie. Not. Acceptable. So rather than go through with the wedding she had planned, as it woould be a sham wedding anyway (Barbie could never love a guy shorter than herdelf) Barbie 1 married Barbie 2 in a lovely cerimony and all lived happily ever after. But I don't really consider that an embarassing moment. Except mabey for Dad, who had to sit throught the cerimonby with Bratz boy at his side...

Randi Alexander said...

Jamie, how cute! Kids are so funny when they have their minds set a certain way. We just have to smile and let them do it their way.

Randi Alexander said...

Congratulations, PG! Using, I chose your name as the winner of an e-copy of Chase and Seduction. Please contact me at Randi @ RandiAlexander . com and let me know in which format you'd like your e-book sent to you.

Thanks to everyone who stopped by!