Tuesday, 24 May 2011


Repost from another blogspot.

On Monday, because I’d let the housework go to hell the previous week, I decided I’d better clean. Properly. Not just one of those quick tidy-ups. So the bathroom thought Christmas had come early, and so did my cooker.

Now, I rarely clean the inside of my cooker. Disgusting of me, I know, but I also know there are many others out there who don’t do that either (come on, admit it!). Said cooker had started to, err, smoke a bit and smell when I turned it on. That might have had something to do with the charred cheese that drips off pizzas (highly bugging) and various other bits of food that seem to jump off the trays while cooking.

A weird side of me wonders if food indeed has feelings, deciding it’s bloody hot in there, and attempts a break-out.

Okay, forget I admitted I think odd things like that…

Anyway, Husband, the dear, had the week off. As I don’t clean on weekends unless I’m feeling insane (he does it), he rarely sees me when I’m cleaning. I kinda forgot he was home and did my usual sing-and-dance routine, paying particular attention, and going at it with much glee, to the part in Aretha Franklin’s Respect where the backing singers go: Whoop!

So, I’m cleaning away…

What you want! WHOOP! Baby, I got it! WHOOP! What you need! WHOOP! You know I got it!

And then I remembered he was home. So I said, “Pardon me, dear, but this is how I act when I’m alone.”

Note those words, my beauties…

About an hour later, after leaving the spray oven cleaner stuff to do its work, I decided it was time to wipe that off and have a sparkling oven again. One where I can actually SEE through the glass door. (Don’t… I’m foul.)

So, I proceeded to take off my jeans.

Hubby looked at me as though he thought the same as the bathroom (Christ, Santa read my mind…) and asked, “What are you doing, love?”

“I’m taking my jeans off,” I said.

“Umm, is this another one of your daily rituals I’m unaware of?” (Possibly thinking: Just what does this woman do when I’m at work, for God’s sake? I thought she wrote!)

“No,” I said. “Just going to clean the oven.”

His confused face was TOO funny, and I went off to do my scrubbing in just my knickers, bra and top.

There was a reason for this mad behaviour. I’d been wearing white jeans. I’ve made the mistake in the past of cleaning while wearing this colour, or wearing black and getting a great big bleach splash on my clothes. But, you can bet your bottom dollar that now, when Hubby emails during the day and asks, “What you up to, love? Everything all right?” and I answer, “Cleaning the windows…” he’s going to be praying to the dear Lord above that I’m fully clothed and NOT outside with my knickers on show!


Anthology Authors said...

HAHAHAHAHA, Sarah! A few weeks back, I was hanging our laundry out to dry. It was so hot that I stripped to my skivvies. Okay, just my underwear as I rarely wear a bra. We have a 6' concrete block fence. Unbeknownst to me, there were guys trimming a neighbor's huge avocado tree a couple houses a way. (g) If they were looking, they got a show. LOL I wonder how often this happens.

Emmy Ellis said...



Janice said...

Um, yeah, we do seem to think alike.

I've been know to bleach my bathroom naked, so I don't have bleach spots all over my clothes.

Faith said...

LOL, I'd've loved to have seen his expression!

And yes, I often forget to clean the outside of cookers too from crockpots to toasters to the roaster. It's when I see a bad food splatter I remember to clean the outsides and get the Korkay out.

Lisa Alexander Griffin said...

LOL! He's gonna be afraid to leave you at home alone from now on!

Robyn M Speed said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Robyn M Speed said...

Deleted previous as didn't check spelling....

Anyway...so glad I am not the only one with weird thoughts zooming round in my head!!

Cleaning ovens.... OMG are we supposed to do that??? I just bought a new oven so I didn't have to!

I did issue a warning to the family: you dirty my new oven, you CLEAN my new oven!!

You ladies rock!