I know, I know, I'm asking too much.
All Lily wears are knit pants. Why? She's always been in between the skinny and the regular size jeans. Actually, she's just too big for the skinny jeans. The regular jeans? For them to fit her, I have to pull the elastic cord all the way to the last slit on both sides to keep them from falling off of her. When she complains of them being uncomfortable. What can I say? I'd be uncomfortable with 2" of jean fabric bunched around my waist, too.
Normally, that's not my issue. LOL My issues are the ones listed above. But they seem to have grown worse recently.
You see, a few months ago, one of my neighbors lost some weight and asked me if I wanted her jeans if they fit me. Never one to turn down a boon like that, I said, "Sure, I'll try them."
Lo and behold, they did fit. Everyone complimented me on how skinny I looked in them, how my butt looked nice, etc. I was liking this. Except the jeans rode really low. So low that if I sat or bent down, I either flashed my underwear or my crack. That might be okay for a teeny bopper, but I'm not keen on flashing my ass to the world.
One other thing bothered me about the jeans: the size of the front pockets. Some time in the last couple of years, manufacturers have decreased the size of pockets to the size of uselessness, especially if you have a cell phone. Oh, and if you have normal-sized hands and want to put them in your pocket, forget it. Perhaps if I were Kristin Wiig's SNL character Dooneese Maharelle with hands the size of dolls, this would work fine for me. But I'm not, and it doesn't. My iPhone doesn't fit in my pockets. It sticks halfway out of them. If I sit, I risk the chance of it falling out. And if I want to put my hands in them, I have to curl my hands into balls, or everything of my hand from my knuckles up is out of the pockets. It just sucks.
|Kristin Wiig as Dooneese Maharelle|
Why can't they just leave jeans well enough alone? These low-rise show my muffin-top unless I wear longer shirts (but they don't cut the shirts longer. It's ever so lovely.) and show my underwear and my crack when I bend over. I can't fit more than my keys or some dollar bills in my pockets. The pockets on the butt have buttons, which might look cute, but render those pockets useless. (When I tried to unbutton one, it took me ten minutes. They just weren't meant to be unbuttoned.) So they look good on me, but I'm really not sure that's enough. It mustn't be as I have resorted to wearing knit pants just like Lily.
I don't know why, but that strikes me as really funny. My knit pants don't have pockets, so I can't carry my iPhone in them. They are low-rise, too, but they don't create a muffin top, and, if I bend down, I'm not flashing anything. All of this is fine as long as I'm not going anywhere. It's enough that I work from home and get a little stir crazy for adult interaction besides Facebook. I don't want to have to carry a purse, wear a jacket, or carry the keys/ID/iPhone in my hands.
Whine... whine... whine... I really do sound like a child. LOL
Personally, I don't think low-rise jeans had anything to do with fashion and everything to do with saving money on that extra material. Probably the same thing is going on with the pockets. That 2" or so of extra material cuts down on fabric costs. It doesn't seem like much, but multiply it by thousands of pairs of jeans...
Maybe I'm just cranky. Maybe I just need more sleep. Or maybe I'm getting an early start on my second childhood, temper tantrums and all. (grin)