Monday, 26 November 2012

Mutiny on the Brain

 **Please welcome author Maureen O. Betita** 

Menopause sucks. It has no sense of timing, unless there is a divine force up there laughing hysterically, pointing and chortling away.

Maybe god is a man.

Here I was, trucking along on this great little career. I was on track, had a bunch of books released in less than twelve months…life was good. Not perfect, I wasn’t selling like a house on fire, but it was good. Then…it hit me.

I thought I was going crazy. Talked with my doctor about my mental fog and emotional firestorms. She eyed me, looked at my records and said it was likely peri-menopause, that delightful time before full menopause. I started hormone replacement therapy, my moods evened out and I decided to stop the HRT. I mean, I had a heart condition and HRT isn’t the best thing for me. Now I knew what was going on, I could handle it.

I did, for about a year. Until the night sweats started. And waking up every two hours. No massive mood swings this time, but wow…I once again flirted with going insane. Have you ever done that? Spent a few months waking up every two hours? Most every night?

I stopped writing. I stopped exercising. I stopped eating right. I stopped…having sex. I just spent a lot of time staring at my computer. Or the television. Or at nothing particularly at all. Here I was, books to promote, conventions to attend…agent with books she was pitching…and I was brain dead.

Or at least that is how I felt.

So! I went back on HRT. Damn the complications, if I didn’t return to a normal night’s sleep I was going to turn into Dr. Phil’s newest intervention guest. My heart condition wasn’t the type to specifically put me in danger. And not sleeping was more likely to twist my heart into a tangle than the pills and patch.
Been on the stuff a few months, feeling better. Sleeping thru the night…but my brain has gone on walkabout. Though more likely, my brain is lounging on a beach with my muse, sharing a big bottle of rum and laughing at the fool they left behind.


Modern medicine is miraculous. Certainly saved my life when the heart crisis arrived… But when it comes to things like menopause? Gods. I’m fighting my way back to normality. But I wonder if anything will actually ever be the same. I feel stupid. I have story ideas, but putting one word in front of the other seems far, far away. In the Bahamas, maybe?

Yeah, menopause is much like that other wonderful time of life…remember that? Puberty. We got a book, all about how our bodies were changing. A nice, friendly book, with pictures and simple words…how long it would last, what was next…

I miss books like that. Sure, there are all sorts of medical tomes out there. Thick books, long words, diagrams…

Instead of a simple, easy to follow explanation, I get long internet searches and fabulous mood swings, memory loss and weight gain, sleep loss and lots of sweat.

Nope, not fair.

One day, not too far from now, I hope…the brain will return, the body will regain balance and I will take up my harpoon and find that rotten muse and feast on his LIVER!

   Maureen Betita is a cranky writer who specializes in romantic adventure featuring older-than-your-typical characters. Specifically, she likes to include pirates, krakens, and space aliens. Why? She doesn't know, but she rolls with it. Published by Decadent Publishing, you can purchase her books HERE
   Start with The Kraken's Carribean if you enjoy trilogies, The Ship's Mistress if you like a pair of linked stories. Or Something Different for a short, sweet read.
   Find her on FB, as an author and as a normal Facebook baltherer. She flirts with Twitter but isn't terribly comfortable with it, and she has a lovely website and blog... at


Mona said...

I shouldn't laugh, but I skipped all that crap with a handy bit of surgery. I guess that means I need something else to blame my brain farts on.

Hang in there, Mo, it gets better. :)

Anthology Authors said...

Well, Maureen, you are not alone. I am not in menopause, although my mom swears I'm starting perimenopause. I can go from sweet and innocent (HAHAHAHAHA) to bitch in .5 seconds. It is hormones, but I honestly think it has a lot to do with our awful diets. If I could just stop eating sugar and white flour, I'd be good to go. But (munch, munch, munch) those chocolate chip cookies (munch, munch, munch) I made (munch, munch, munch) for (munch, munch, munch) the Thanksgiving crowd. (chasing crumbs dribbling down my shirt.) (g)


Maureen said...

Yeah, laugh it up, Mona... At least I do have an excuse for EVERYTHING in my life.

Well, maybe not everything. And it is getting better, just not fast enough!

Maureen said...

Marci - I swear, I can't say no to sugar right now. And where I used to crave chocolate once a month, I want it every day!

Thank God I don't bake. But I do shop...

Anthology Authors said...

The chocolate craving is probably a need for magnesium. My favorite chocolate is Ritter Sport's Hazelnut Milk Chocolate bar. They are supposedly two servings, but one serving is never enough and the bar seems just the perfect size. LOL

A recent study found that the country with the most Nobel Prizes also eats the most chocolate. Perhaps we need more chocolate for higher brain function in this time of hormones. (g)


Maureen said...

I'm a fan of the Ritter bars... Nobel Prize, eh? I wonder if they've ever awarded them for pirate novels???

Faith said...

My mother says it eventually goes away and life is good again. A bonus is no more dealing with the monthly curse.

Ever since having my last baby 8 years ago my internal thermostat stays on volcanic heat mode. I can't wear a coat, I can't stand being covered up at night...

Mood swings are horrible, but I also have an unbelievable amount of stress too. If this isn't pre-menopausal stuff, then I'm doomed when it really does begin, lol.

Maureen said...

Faith - I believe if you've had children then 'the change' isn't always so bad.

I do think the worst thing right now is the memory loss.