Tuesday, 26 February 2013

Dungeons and Old Dragons


by Valerie Mann 
A few nights ago, while at the Naughty Sleepover in San Antonio, the attendees were invited to visit a real BDSM dungeon. The Dom who owned the dungeon had given a BDSM-lite presentation in our hotel ballroom (because BDSM-lite etiquette demands that’s where they should be held) and said we could attend his dungeon later that evening.

I will admit, this Vanilla Author of Erotic Romance (VAER) did not attend the presentation. I took a nap, a much-needed nap, so there, but when my roommate came upstairs after the show, she told me what I’d missed. I was intrigued. I edit BDSM romance all the time, plus I have a few friends in the Lifestyle, so perhaps I needed to get a little more edumacation, right? Get a real feel for the whole dealio.

So, after dinner and a stripper show (which I also didn’t attend, I told you I’m a VAER), off we go to a seedier part of San Antonio…all forty of us. Yes, about forty, middle-aged women (for the most part middle-aged), all wide-eyed and pretending this was no big deal, when in fact, I’m guessing for 90% of us, it was a big, fat, hairy deal.

Master Mike, the dungeon owner, welcomed us and gave the grand tour of the house and backyard, then a nice tutorial by himself and other Doms he’d invited to acquaint us with the finer points of the Lifestyle and BDSM community. And then we were treated to some things I doubt this VAER will ever entirely bleach out of her brain. Fascinating—yes. Disturbing—some of it. Do I want to jump into the Lifestyle—negatory. What I came away with was a better understanding and respect for people who are in the Lifestyle. As one lesbian Domme said, “When you decide this is what you want to do, it’s like coming out of the closet. Or in my case, coming out for the second time.”

At about 3:00 am, we left and went outside to wait for our cabs. Remember when I said this was a seedier part of San Antonio? Yeah, it was right down the street from a very active nightclub, just closing for the night, er, morning. Freezing cold, about twenty of us were huddled at the foot of the drive, serenaded by drunken clubbers heading home.

And gunshots. Lots and lots of gunshots.

I’m sorry. I love action movies, I have guns in my home, I’ve taken firearm safety classes and shot weapons. But seeing them discharged FOR REALZ? Where bullets are hitting people? Ambulances show up, police show up, it’s like a scene from COPS.

And all of us middle-aged women huddled like penguins at the foot of the drive were like, “Huh. Looks like people might’ve gotten shot. Hey, has anyone found out what’s holding up our taxi?”


After all we’d seen and heard that day (a sex toy party, a stripper show, then some dungeon time), the gunshots were simply pesky, noisy little disruptions in an otherwise highly unusual evening. But thankfully, three hours later, full of a Denny’s Grand Slam skillet breakfast, this VAER was snuggled in her bed in the haunted Menger Hotel. And that’s a blog for another day.

26 comments:

Kate Richards said...

Yep...and we were there!

Dominique Eastwick said...

Didn't I say we needed to go to Denny's :) Denny's makes everything better. Great blog post Val.

Fierce Dolan said...

Aw. I hope you aren't too scarred. What a fun (and funny) trip!

Toni said...

*Raises Hand* One of the middle aged women. Great post Valerie. I wish I joined you gals at Denny's. My tummy was doing the rumble after pj time. Probably could have gotten away with joining you gals in my pink polka dots, but oh well. I really needed that 3 hours of sleep, before breakfast.

Valerie Mann said...

We all needed some nourishment since the sun was about to come up. Who knew sitting in a dungeon could work up such an appetite! LOL.

Wish you'd joined us, Toni!!

Krista said...

Sounds like an absolute blast !!! I'm so jealous....one year i'll get to do one of those :)

Kary Rader said...

You make me sad I missed it! LOL But I'm glad nobody got hit by a stray (bullett I mean)

Slick said...

So cracking up at your post Valerie...yes, I was there and it was a night not to be missed. However the next time I say, "that sounds like a gunshot" I'm not going to listen to people telling me it's not. Next time I'll duck before the next 10 rounds are shot off!

Taryn Kincaid said...

Yeah...hmmm...on second thought, probably a good idea I wasn't there.

Jessica Subject said...

Yeah, I would have been freakin' out. Or, I would have fainted. Glad no one was hurt.

Anthology Authors said...

Yeah, that would've been me. As much as I play that I know things, I don't know things. And I'm okay with that. :D I can handle it.

Kate Richards said...

Shoot now I need someone else to go the the one in L.A. with me! I want to take a class in flogging for research of course!

Anthology Authors said...

Well, I'd be good for a class in flogging, Kate. :D In high school, I used to joke around about S&M. A friend gave me a bumper sticker that said, "Stick and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me." I put it in the window of my car as a joke. I know the Lifestyle isn't a joke, but, hey, this was (cough, cough) the 80s.

Kate Richards said...

In the eighties I did things... but yes, that was then. Seriously, if I find one I will let you know. There's a dungeon not too far from here I learned in San Antonio. The nice Doms said watch Fetlife too for events, classes...things like that.

Anthology Authors said...

When EPICon was in Las Vegas, we went to the BDSM museum. That was...edifying.

I am sure going to a Dungeon would be, too, Kate. LOL

Kate Richards said...

No doubt.

Kali Willows said...

There is always excitement surrounding you ladies, and I've missed every moment since RT in LA :-(
I'm glad everyone is safe, and remarkably inspired, I imagine DP submissions is going to get an onslaught of subs with BDSM, night clubs and shoot outs :-O

Louisa Bacio said...

OMG! From BDSM to gunshots! What an experience! Loved reading this post. Are you still "vanilla?"

Valerie Mann said...

I'm glad Kate has someone to hold her hand at her next dungeon visit! As for me, yes I'm still Very Vanilla. I respect the lifestyle and will appreciate it from afar, while remaining my boring old self :-)

Dominique Eastwick said...

There is nothing Boring about you Val... LOL

Kathy L. said...

It was an exciting night. I learned alot and viewed a lot. I even participated but not as much as the girls that were in the lifestyle. I came home and told my hubby and he got excited. Enuff said. I would do it all over again minus the gun shots. :) Great blog post.

Kate Richards said...

Yep...telling the hubs did good things, and while we are not going to join the lifestyle, I want to learn more for my writing's sake. And if it means every time I do research my husband makes like a pillaging or is it plundering?Viking, I'll just have to suffer in silence (yeah right!)

Margie said...

I made the trip to the dungeon also but left early so missed all the excitement. Not that I minded one little bit not hearing gunshots and seeing ambulances and police cars responding. Going to the dungeon was definitely a very interesting experience though. Got to tick off an item from my bucket list that I never thought would get checked off. It was super meeting you Valerie. Thank you Sassies for the great event.

Faith said...

Reminds of of when an author pal of mine took me to a drag queen lounge. OMG!!! Eye-opening experience is an understatement!

And LMAO @ bleaching brain!

Becki Wyer said...

Sounds like it was a very entertaining day. I had heard other reports about the presentation and visit to the club. But I hadn't heard about the gunfight.

Kate Richards said...

We went to the drag queen dance club the night before :)