It's not "we;" it's "you."

Whenever there is something my husband wants done, he usually starts the conversation with "we." It didn't take me long to realize that "we" meant "you," as in me. For instance, a few weeks ago before we visited my mother's, he said, "We need to clean the house before Rachelle comes to housesit." Knowing that he would be at work all day and come home too tired to clean, I took that to mean: You need to clean the house. (Yes, I cleaned the bathrooms before Rachelle arrived, but that's where it ended. And I was irritated that it was me cleaning them.)

He was right. The house needed cleaning, but, as I am not the only person living here, I am not the only one capable of cleaning the house. Oh, and just because I work from home, does not mean I don't work. In other words, my time is just as valuable as his, right?

A couple of days ago, he said, "We need to wash socks. I'm down to the holey ones."

In my head, I said, "No, you need to wash socks. I still have some fifteen pairs in my drawer." It's summer time, and I work from home. My favorite shoes in summer are: barefoot and flip-flops. Both are best sans socks.

It's taken me nearly fourteen years to ignore these "suggestions" without getting my dander up. Okay, that's not necessarily true. There are still times I am irritated by these "we" comments. We've had discussions about this before. (Read: I chewed on him about it.) He feels that it's more polite to say we rather than just ask me to do it for him. Um, I feel it's more polite for him just to do what he wants done rather than to ask me to do it. (grin) After all, I am not the only one with hands, arms, legs, feet, and a brain…

Now, my husband is very handy around the house when it comes to fixing things. Just today, he installed the curtain rods for Lily's room. (I made tie-dye curtains for her room. Yes, made. They are beautiful, and I will never make those kinds of curtains again. LOL) Last weekend, he changed all of the exterior locks on our house (as the old ones looked like we lived in an apartment building.) He'll vacuum and wash dishes, provided the dishes are within his line of sight. Anything not right in front of him will be left on the counter. I call this tunnel vision. Sometimes, he'll even pull the weeds around the pool. He takes out the garbage, helps with the wash, and empties the cat box.

I suppose that's actually quite a bit, when I think about it. But he's maybe cleaned the toilet twice in the entire time we've been together. If he can use a gadget (steam cleaner), he's all over cleaning the shower. Of course, that happens once in a blue moon. Okay, less than a blue moon. Much, much less.

Still, this whole "we" thing has to go. A simple polite "will you do this" would suffice. I might still say, "No." Okay. There's a good possibility I'll say, "No," but it would feel less like a not-so-subtle demand.